Grade: D+
I’ve never read an e-book before and I thought I’d try them out, since they’re the wave of the future and all. This book is rated HOT for “sexual content, graphic language, and mild BDSM”, but none of that offended me. What offended me about this story is the shoddy plotting, shitty characterization, and dialogue that made me want to poke out my ear drums because I kept hearing it in my head. This book is really just a Harlequin Blaze with “some” BDSM and the author can say “pussy” and “fuck”. Other than that, there really is nothing about this that separates it from your average Harlequin Blaze and let me tell you that there are some Blaze I’ve read that are better.
Our heroine April is a dominatrix. But not because she’s kinky or a pervert or anything, it’s just a job for her. She needs the money so she can get her master’s in psychology and also, she’s got a sister who has cancer and that sister has a little girl that April is fighting to get custody of when her sister dies. There is just so much contrived justification as to why April is a dominatrix so that we are reminded that April is a good girl and not a pervert and wouldn’t be a dominatrix if she had a choice. That’s such bullshit. The girl has a bachelor’s degree. She can find another job. But nooo… she’s doing this for her family, you hear? Oh, and it’s not like she has to have sex with her clients. It’s not like that, shut up! Man, if I ever found out that my sister became a dominatrix, not for her own kink, but to be a martyr for our family, I’d set her hair on fire.
Our hero, RC Jones, is a redneck cowboy type who has control issues and he’s a bit of a chauvinist. One day, he finds himself tied up and gagged, after waking up from a drugged sleep, with a girl in a dominatrix outfit and her toes hovering by his face, ordering him to lick her toes. Naturally, RC protests that he wasn’t supposed to be on the kinky cruise (to Jamaica), that he was drugged and shanghaied, because a true red-blooded American like him wouldn’t even think to sign up for something perverted. Or something. At first, the dominatrix doesn’t believe him because some of the people who sign up like some play-acting, but RC figures out that his sister must have drugged him and signed him up for a prank. If he makes a fuss about it, though, the cruise would return him to the mainland because a customer must have signed on willingly, and he doesn’t want to return quite yet because he finds himself enthralled with the dominatrix. In fact, he makes a bet with the dominatrix that he can seduce her to have sex with him within the next two weeks. If he succeeded, he would get control of the dominatrix for two weeks; if he lost, he would become a nice little submissive for her.
Ugh, this book was so damned painful to read. RC is a stubborn asshole who doesn’t believe he can be dominated and he’d be damned if a woman could do it. He opposes April at every turn and acts like an all-around chauvinistic he-man who can bring any woman to heel. And he stays the same throughout the book. He doesn’t repent nor does he have a major change of heart. April the dominatrix, on the other hand, is the worst dominatrix ever. She has no spine, no aggression, no assertiveness, and I had a hard time believing that she’s supposed to be one of the best dominatrices (?) in the company she works for. Plus we’re reminded every other page that she’s just doing this for the money because her sister has cancer and she has to get custody of her little niece once her sister dies, because she’s a good girl, and blah-blah-blah. Jesus Christ!
There’s hardly any sex or any instance of true BDSM. All we’ve got is RC telling April that he will never be dominated and April half-heartedly telling herself that she is not in love with RC and that she must dominate him. The reviews for this book say that this is supposed to be a romantic comedy, but I don’t see any of that, either. Plus April is thoroughly unprofessional. There is a company-wide “no touching” policy, but April violates it within fifteen minutes of knowing RC because he’s hot or something. I don’t know. And there’s this bullshit side story of her friend doing a little switch-a-roo (she was supposed to get RC) because the friend made a deal with Robert’s sister to help keep him away for two weeks and in exchange, Robert’s sister is going to help April with her custody case. There’s also a fake engagement, a wacky grampa who lords their inheritance over his grandchildren’s heads (the grandchildren must be married or engaged by his 70th birthday or he will raise the age that they will be eligible for their trust funds), and RC’s sister who drugs RC, tosses him into a kinky cruise ship, all because she wants to get him out of the way because he doesn’t have a girlfriend or she wants the money all to herself or… I don’t know. That whole thing confused me. And it was stupid and contrived.
Anyway, I was expecting a real battle of wills between April and RC because RC was such a stereotypical cowboy that I was expecting this supposed dominatrix to whip him (literally) into shape and have him cowering at her feet and wearing feather boas at the end of the story, but none of that happens. What we do get is a pathetic, clichéd story that basically says good, suffering little martyrs will get a man who will save them and take them away from their troubles if they remain good, little martyrs who are not… you know, really “kinky”. And I couldn’t believe that the supposed old-fashioned Texan grandfather would truly welcome April into the family especially once he found out what April did for a living. If you really think about it, April is really nothing more than a prostitute. After all, she’s being paid to provide sexual pleasure to her clients (she’s a dominatrix, her clients are submissives, they’re paying her to indulge their kinks… she’s a prostitute). And RC? What a complete asshole. God, this book is awful. I need a drink. Or a shower to cleanse off my disgust. Excuse me.
Last 5 posts by bam
- Review: Their Newborn Gift by Nikki Logan - May 15th, 2012
- Review: Gimme a Kiss by Christopher Pike - May 9th, 2012
- Review: Fair Coin by E.C. Myers - May 6th, 2012
- Site Reconstruction - May 5th, 2012
- Review: Starters by Lissa Price - April 29th, 2012
August 29, 2005 at 5:25 am
Oh boy. I’m going to put my foot into it now
The movie Exit to Eden was well, bad but and here’s the big but there was as scene where the (?) hero is standing tied up arms straight out by the dominatrix. He has been giving her a hard time until she figures out his thing. Being spanked. Lord, that was a hot scene because he was so repressed and I think even he knew what he really wanted but didn’t want anyone to ever know. Anyways, again, another shame of mine to admit. Crap.
Anyways, I have seen shows on dominatrix / submissive behaviour and it seems to have much more to do with power than sex so I don’t know if a true story of a dom breaking an alpha would work for me. But hey, if you know of a good story, let me know, I’ll give it a try.
CindyS
August 29, 2005 at 7:03 am
CindyS, yes. That would be Exit to Eden by Anne Rice. The book was better, I thought, and it didn’t have Rosie O’Donnell in it. and the Domme, I can’t remember her name, really puts Elliot through the paces. I thought it was interesting.
August 30, 2005 at 11:03 am
I’m currently avoiding all BDSM books at the moment. I find that I get too irritated by the submissive females and the asshole male doms!