It’s not just me, right? This guy looks like a Lifetime movie villain? Like if Meredith Baxter Birney was a single mom who has just moved into a new town for a fresh start and becomes a waitress in a quirky, yet oddly homey diner, this guy would be the first one to befriend her and be really nice to her kids and take her out on a fancy night on the town? But once he got gained her trust, he would start to become controlling and begin yelling at the kids and forbid her to hang out with her friends and tell her she’s getting fat and he can always find a younger, prettier woman and no man will ever want her except him, then he’ll start hitting her, not where it will show, and it’ll steadily get worse and worse until she starts wearing shades to the diner and Madge, the owner of the diner, will get concerned and tell her that she don’t need no man and Meredith Baxter Birney should take the kids and get out of town and by the way, here’s Madge’s pin money? But like, this jerk will catch MBB in the act of running away and he’ll threaten to kill the kids if she tries to escape, so MBB will wait till he’s asleep on their bed, then set it on fire?

Jesus, look at this guy! If he made a very special effort to look more like a jerk, I don’t think he’ll be successful. He’s got the slicked back hair (Jesus, what did he use on it, Crisco ?) that showcases a very unfortunate hairline, a disapproving glare in his beady little eyes (I bet he got home from work and MBB didn’t have dinner ready on the table), and I bet when MBB’s teenage daughter brings her friends home, he always hits on them and freaks them out, so that they don’t want to come back anymore. What a jerk.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 29th, 2005 at 11:42 pm and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.