Take it away, Girlfriend! No, really. Take it away.

Good God: where to start? I have no words. I am bereft of the snark. I got so overwhelmed that I scanned all of this wrapround cover in order to capture its unashamedness. I’m not even sure if unashamedness is a real word, that’s how much this cover staggers me. There are so many questions. So many, many questions. What is up with her boobs? Is he about to try blowing down her throat and playing a tune on her neck like she’s a clarinet? Is that chest hair? Is it possible to rip ‘Gone With the Wind’ off more without calling it ‘Blown Away’?

You know what, buddy? I don’t think she’s even alive. I think he’s attempting to perform CPR on her, but since she’s been dead for three days, I don’t think it’s going to work. Poor moppet, someone should really tell him that the girl is dead. What do they have to do with the other people in the background there, anyway? It looks like the cast of Dallas, no? I love the lady with the giant purple hat and all its purple plumes. She looks like a pissed off drag queen. Bernadette Bassenger would kill for that bloody hat. I bet she’s evil. Evil people wear the best hats. I bet she’s the wicked step-mother who kicks our intrepid heroine out of the mansion and our intrepid heroine was forced to find work at a bordello as the cleaning lady where our dashing hero mistook her for a prostitute. And dear Lord, is that Snidely Whiplash? What’s he doing there? Shouldn’t he be tying some damsel to some train tracks or something?

This entry was posted on Friday, September 30th, 2005 at 6:32 pm and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.