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No, Really, it’s Au Naturel!

From my buddy The Hot Piece of Ass from the UK:

Check out the hair. His hair. You can tell he’s just taken off his helmet and shook out his locks in a “hey, ladeez” way. He is so up himself. I bet he’s been listening to too many stories about Camelot and reckons he’s the reincarnation of Lancelot. Also, his wristguard is tied too tight, making a vein pop out on his bicep. I like a wristband on a man, especially a leather one, but not so tight it makes you look like a junkie hunting for a vein. Also, I doubt the historical accuracy: this is meant to be 1280, yet we have heaving man-titty combined with shiny L’Oreal hair.

Hmm… I did not know that waxing your chest hair was so fashionable in the Dark Ages. Did the other knights make fun of him, do you think? Maybe they called him a “nancy boy” and whenever he’s not looking, they stole the “nancy boy hair gel he likes so much” and hid it. Check out the dame standing behind him. I bet she’s peeved that he’s late again for their date because he took so long fixing his stupid hair. Obviously, she doesn’t care about her hair as much as he cares about his. Look! It’s all frizzy and shit.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 30th, 2005 at 6:10 pm and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

7 Responses to “No, Really, it’s Au Naturel!”

  1. Anhoni Patel
    Posted: Sep 30th, 2005 at 11:18 pm
    1

    The “maiden” looks nervous. What she doesn’t know is that he’s only…well let’s just say that her handmaiden’s fingers are longer.

  2. Darla
    Posted: Oct 1st, 2005 at 7:03 am
    2

    And what is up with his lumpy chest? Washboard abs don’t start up that high, surely, and they look all crooked and shit.

  3. Bam
    Posted: Oct 1st, 2005 at 8:16 am
    3

    I think he just went through a medieval gastric bypass and what you see there is not really a six pack, but a jagged scar. He used to be a heavy, heavy man.

  4. Gabriele C.
    Posted: Oct 1st, 2005 at 3:51 pm
    4

    And as long as he’s wearing the surcoat without the chainmail, the helmet won’t help much. Next thing is Evil Black Knight stabs him right in his mantitties.

    I think that’s what the maiden in the background is waiting for.

  5. SpikeDru
    Posted: Oct 3rd, 2005 at 8:12 am
    5

    I think he just went through a medieval gastric bypass

    Out of dread curiousity, I’ve been reading this one in the bath. He does have some kind of, as yet unexplained, stomach pains.

    She is a virgin nun who turns out to be a vixen in the sack.

  6. bam
    Posted: Oct 3rd, 2005 at 8:18 am
    6

    Aren’t they all?

  7. SpikeDru
    Posted: Oct 3rd, 2005 at 3:09 pm
    7

    what, all nuns turn out to be vixens in the sack? Even Julie Andrews?

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