There’s something very wrong about this cover. There’s the adoring boyfriend nuzzling the hair of the woman he loves; there are the beautiful blond-haired kids who are looking on with approval because momma is finally gettin’ some… and then there’s momma who’s got a devious smile on her face like she’s thinking, “If I’m really to have a new beginning with this man, I gotta get rid of the kids. Our lives would be perfect if it weren’t for those damn kids.” She’s about to pull a Susan Smith on her kids and you can take that to the bank.

Or I could be totally wrong and the kids belong to the man and they’re only pretending to like Daddy’s new girlfriend. Once Daddy turns his back, those kids will shove the new stepmommy down a flight of stairs.

Grade: B-

Amazon told me that if I liked Charlaine Harris’ Southern Vampire series and Kim Harrison’s books, then I would like this book. Amazon also suggested that I might like Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dark-Hunter books, but Amazon was wrong about that. I hated them. Amazon lies, you guys. Anyway, I was a little wary about this book, but I was told by a few people that it’s pretty good. That was why on Friday, after work, I opened up a can of Pepsi and a bag of chips, collapsed on my extremely comfortable couch, and set out to read this little gem. By Sunday night, I still wasn’t done. I think I’m a fast reader and can usually finish 400 pages in three to four hours, but with this book, it took me three days. I mean, I just couldn’t get into it, you know? Technically, there is nothing wrong with it. The plot is sound, the world-building is impressive, the dialogue isn’t painful, and the characters didn’t irritate me, but at varying times while reading this, I found myself opting to take a nap instead. It didn’t blow me away, didn’t make me want to throw it across the room… it was just… eh.
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I watched House last night and am still reeling from the scene where Chase kisses a nine year old girl with cancer. I mean, she practically begged him to do it and Chase felt sorry for her and the girl WAS dying, but the second Chase’s lips touched the little girl’s, my skin began to crawl. Plus the kiss went on a few seconds too long. Tim’s reaction was: “What is this shit? Isn’t she supposed to contact Make-A-Wish first or something?”Anyway, Chase felt really horrible about it afterwards and fucking Cameron exacerbated things later on by acting like Chase raped the little girl or something. I hate Cameron.

This cover, on the other hand, is just plain creepy. The title is “Duncan’s Lady”, but all I see is some skeevy looking man holding a little girl who looks all trusting and shit. This is a romance novel, right? Where is the age-appropriate love interest? Damn you, Harlequin! Damn you and your baby covers!

This is totally a throwback to those old school romance novel covers with the chick’s head tilted back in passion while some Fabio lookin’ dude is posed to nuzzle her neck. Never mind that the dude is wearing jeans and an ugly denim shirt; just check out the chick’s dress. It’s all virginal white and and shit like she’s some vicar’s daughter who is indulging in a moment of lust with a libidonous rake/cowboy/viking/pirate. Ten bucks say she’s a virgin. I don’t know how a supermodel looking woman can stay a virgin in this day and age, but this is a Harlequin book.

Frankly, I think her neck is just tilted that way because it can’t handle the weight of her big head and big hair.

I don’t know what the FUNK is going on, but I can’t update my other blog. I just finished reading Sunshine by Robin Mckinley and I’m all ready to post my review and shit, but Blogger is not cooperating. DAMN IT.

09/21/2005 update: It’s up!