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Sheikhs Gone Wild!

Amber and I were just talking about the Harlequin fascination with sheikhs back in the 90’s. Amber says, “The head dress is freaky. It’s like having sex with a guy in a halloween costume.” Word to your mutha! I totally agree! No offense to my Arab American readers (who I really doubt are sheikhs), but who would want to date one of these guys? Stereotypically speaking, they usually have a harem (literally!) of wives, treat their women as property (like a sub-human sex slave), and according to this cover, they seem to favor ugly, multi-colored shirts! Is it the money? Is it like dating the CEO of a large company or a Millionaire Cop? And where do these American (read: Caucasian) women find these sheikhs, anyway? It’s not like they’re hanging around in some downtown bar in Colorado. Was the sheikh-thing just a fad of the nineties? What’s next, Asian heroes? “The Samurai Who Loved Me” or something like that? Wait… that would be fucking awesome. BRING IT ON!

Oh, and my mom knew this gorgeous model from the Philippines who had like… the Sultan of Brunei (yeah, I know, that’s not the same as a sheikh) in love with her and he pursued her relentlessly, buying her all sorts of crazy shit like furs and diamonds and paid off her debts, and he would tell her all the time that she would be his one and only if she only married him. When she got to Brunei, she found out that she was like… his eighth wife, and he had a frickin’ harem! Sure, he fucked her every night for the first few months or so, but after a while, he would fuck the other wives, and after another couple of months, he brought home a ninth wife! HOW ROMANTIC!

Oh, look, another ugly, multi-colored thing! Is that a pashmina scarf? And is he wearing lime-green silk pajamas? Ewww! And they posed that white girl rather uncomfortably, didn’t they? My neck hurts just looking at her. Man, sheiks love their white girls!

Also, I’m almost 100% sure that these guys? Are not at all from the Middle East.

Thanks to the Magnificent Amber for these images!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 29th, 2005 at 7:40 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

5 Responses to “Sheikhs Gone Wild!”

  1. Robyn
    Posted: Nov 29th, 2005 at 11:42 am
    1

    Don’t they also wear this red-and-white checkered thing that looks like a Pizza Hut tablecloth?

  2. Bam
    Posted: Nov 29th, 2005 at 11:59 am
    2

    Robyn, you crack my shit up, seriously.

  3. Anhoni Patel
    Posted: Nov 29th, 2005 at 2:39 pm
    3

    white girls = sheik cryptonite.

    seriously.

    but only the blondes. I don’t know what these bloody brunettes are doing on the covers.

  4. Luckeecharm
    Posted: Nov 29th, 2005 at 5:44 pm
    4

    where do these stories take place? Its not often you see random skanks throwing themselves at head dress wearing sheikhs. It makes me laugh to imagine going at it with a guy completely naked except for the head dress. Because is he gonna pause for a moment to romove it?

    Amber

  5. Fatemeh
    Posted: Dec 7th, 2005 at 8:39 pm
    5

    HELLO? ORIENTALISM, ANYONE? Let me tell you my friends, as an “ethnic” of the Middle Eastern type, that nobody wears those things unless he lives in Saudi Arabia or North Africa. Really.
    And, hey, monogamy is the norm. NORM.
    And I’m going to overlook the “women-as-property” comment as a favor, because I love this blog and I love the fact that you don’t want children.

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