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Our Holiday Gift to You, Our Readers!

From my homegirl, Spikedru:

… if you’re easily tempted by stripper-grams who look like Bobby Ewing.

Man, I’ve seen some pretty skeevy covers, but something about this really bothers me… Oh, yeah, it’s this whole “your momma is not home, so you and I can play, little girl” vibe that I’m getting from him. He’s like the younger, nasty gigolo guy that an older woman marries and brings home where she has a hot, nubile, 16 year old daughter who is just now experiencing some sexual awakenings. Man, I just made myself vomit in my mouth by typing that. BUTTON UP YOUR SHIRT, asshole, what’s wrong with you? And the furniture and decor in the background that looks like Kirstie Alley chewed up Pier 1 Imports and regurgitated it? Totally confirms my theory that this tool is just a no-good gigolo to an older woman. Ugh, I feel like plucking out my eyes and soaking them in bleach overnight. Thanks, Spikedru, I thought we were friends!

Anyway, my sexy ass is going to be in the Philippines for three weeks, so I’ll see you all when I get back, all tanned and beautiful. ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAYS, bitches!

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 10th, 2005 at 10:26 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

12 Responses to “Our Holiday Gift to You, Our Readers!”

  1. Robyn
    Posted: Dec 10th, 2005 at 11:06 am
    1

    Have fun, Bam. Don’t let us catch you later in a “Girls Gone Wild” Christmas Special!

    Not that I watch that kind of thing.

  2. Anhoni Patel
    Posted: Dec 12th, 2005 at 12:43 pm
    2

    “And the furniture and decor in the background that looks like Kirstie Alley chewed up Pier 1 Imports and regurgitated it?” = that was hilarious Bam.

    He really is skeevy. And his hair is thinning.

    Have fun on your trip!

  3. Shesawriter
    Posted: Dec 12th, 2005 at 7:30 pm
    3

    I don’t know, but the guy on the cover looks like a young Martin Sheen. That kinda ruins it for me. I’m sure the story inside is wonderful but the guy needs to go. And his hair is weird too. LOL!

    Tanya

  4. Wendy
    Posted: Dec 13th, 2005 at 1:02 pm
    4

    Wow - he does kinda look like Young Martin Sheen. I was thinking Davy Jones from The Monkees…..

  5. Michael K
    Posted: Dec 13th, 2005 at 2:33 pm
    5

    That dude is so much hotter than Bobby Ewing.

  6. Douglas Hoffman
    Posted: Dec 14th, 2005 at 10:22 am
    6

    You’re going to the Phillipines, I’m going to Vegas to see my parents.

    Wanna trade?

  7. Kate D.
    Posted: Dec 17th, 2005 at 9:10 pm
    7

    It’s the hairless manscaping that really makes this icky for me. This guy looks like he should have a rug on his chest, and instead he’s all shiny and plastic like a Ken doll.

  8. Kate R
    Posted: Dec 19th, 2005 at 7:37 pm
    8

    have fun ms. bam.

    and thanks for leaving us with Dr. Eligible Drunkard’s brother before you left.

  9. Billie
    Posted: Dec 22nd, 2005 at 4:48 am
    9

    HAPPY/MERRY/POLITICALLY CORRECT AND ALL-INCLUSIVE CHRISTMAAKWANZUKKAH BY INTELLIGENT DESIGN!

    Hope I didn’t offend or leave anyone out. :D

  10. Anonymous
    Posted: Dec 29th, 2005 at 7:53 am
    10

    He looks like my boss´s twin brother, weird hairdo included! Thank God I haven´t seen my boss shirtless and hope I never will.

  11. Douglas Hoffman
    Posted: Dec 31st, 2005 at 9:05 pm
    11

    Happy New Year, darlin’!

  12. romancelover
    Posted: Jan 14th, 2006 at 11:02 am
    12

    Your blog is hilarious!!! The guy here looks like Martin Sheen…too funny!

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