Amber sends the best covers. What on earth is a “marchese” anyway? I’m lactose intolerant (courtesy of my Chinese heritage… thanks, Grandma!), so I’d like to make sure that it’s not a dairy product.

Well, whatever a Marchese is, it seems to have attached itself to this poor blond woman. Her boobies are covered by that ugly purple dress she’s wearing (it looks like a giant bruise), so I can’t see how big they are, but he does appear to have a more substantial boobage area than she does.

I bet those sheets they’re rolling in are made of satin.

Oh, and Amber thinks that the Marchese is sporting a “mullet”, but I don’t think so. It kind of looks like the longer hair that Superman sports in the later comics. It’s kind of hot, actually. Don’t you think he’s kind of hot? Look, people, I’m not crazy! This cover model is not bad-looking!

Huh. I just noticed the name of the author. The beloved Sara Fielding, who wrote the infamous Mathilda, and married Derek Craven, the rakehell, now writes Harlequin romance novels? Oh, my heart breaks at the thought of it.I thought she would have at least gone with Avon. Doesn’t Derek have enough money to support them?

My sister thinks he’s a god (whenever he’s on TV, she practically hyperventilates), but he totally does nothing for me. Whenever I see a picture of him, he always has a stupid look on his face. I guess I just don’t like the whole “jock” look. Does Tom Brady do it for you?

Grade: B+

I’m gonna go ahead and say it. The reason I put off reading this book is the hype. About twenty people (you know who you are) told/asked me to read this bad boy and gushed about how great it was and I was afraid that when I finally got around to reading it, I was going to be disappointed. It happened to me with Brokeback Mountain. For days, a friend of mine wouldn’t shut up about it, telling me it’s the best movie I’ll see all year. When I finally saw it, I thought, “That’s it?” From the way she talked about it, I thought it was going to be a huge butt-fuckathon, but (hee-hee) I found myself a little underwhelmed. It just wasn’t… gay enough, I guess? Do you know what I mean? But let’s get back to Dreaming of You. Was it everything I’d ever wanted in a romance novel? Close, but no dice. It’s a good read, don’t get me wrong, but it suffers from the dreadful disorder of The Author is Obviously In Love With The Hero Syndrome. It’s a common enough affliction, but if the heroine had been written better, I think it would have been an awesome book.But before I start bitching about Sara, I want to make it clear that I really enjoyed this book. Derek is a hero I’ve never read about before, but I just think that the story would have flowed better if Sara had been a more active heroine. She is someone who allows things to happen to her, instead of initiating them herself. As it is, she is eclipsed by Derek, who is by far, a more developed character than she is. As a character, she doesn’t really evolve. I guess we were supposed to think that she had become a different person when she decides that she will no longer marry her sissy-ass mama’s boy fiancé after a couple of slap-tickle sessions with Derek, but I just wasn’t convinced. She was a boring character. She kind of redeems herself to me when she calls the villain “you bitch” (it was a hilarious scene), but other than that, she didn’t interest me. She’s like toast, you know? Buttered, but still kind of dry.
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I just love the completely oblivious look on this woman’s face, like she’s thinking, “Did I turn off the oven before I left the house?” or “Tampons… margarine… salad dressing… milk… Ooh… Toaster Strudels!” She is so totally not interested in the cowboy holding her. I don’t blame her, either. Look at this guy. He’s just too damned clean-looking… I mean, his shirt is even neatly pressed and stuff. I also just realized that these two are on a horse. Gee… I hope the horse doesn’t rear back, throw them off, and trample all over them.

Image courtesy of Peter Pagano.

Grade: B+

I’ve read about ten thousand historical romance novels in a span of a hundred years, but I’ve rarely come across a heroine as bold and impetuous as Lily Lawson. I mean, bitch is crazy. She gets drunk with men, often makes a public spectacle of herself, gambles her money, and does shit like tie up her sister’s fiancé, so that her sister could run away with another man… and everyone seems cool with it. What I found remarkable, however, is that with all the “bad” stuff she does, she doesn’t ever sleep around. Sure, she’s a gambler and hangs out with a notorious thug, and yet she’s still invited to most society parties. If she had been a slut as well as a party girl? Forget about it! A drunken gambler can be forgiven. That shit can be chalked up to “youthful indiscretion”. But a slut? Not so much. I just thought I’d point that out. Anyway, I had a blast reading this book because I really enjoyed the chemistry between Lily and Alex, the hero, and it introduces… drum roll, please… Derek Craven. DoY fanatics, commence your swooning. Go on, I’ll wait.

Lily Lawson is the black sheep of the family. When she was younger, she was wild and reckless, therefore earning the nickname “Lawless Lily”. Because of this, her father sends her away to live with an aunt in Europe and she becomes estranged from her family. While living in Italy, she meets up with a greasy bohunk asshole who seduces her into giving up her virginity—which she gives him willingly!—then leaves her the next day, telling her that she was an awful lay. As a result of this union, she gets pregnant, decides to have the baby, and lives the next few years happily as a single mother. When her aunt dies and the child gets kidnapped, she is forced to go back to London. In London, she creates a façade for herself as a happy-go-lucky, anything-for -a-good-time kind of girl, when deep inside, she is barely holding on to her own sanity as she desperately scrapes together the money to incrementally pay off the man who had abducted her daughter (it’s why she gambles). On top of this, her baby sister is about to marry a man rumored to be a magnificent asshole and Lily is compelled to save her sister from making the biggest mistake of her life. At this point, I’m just in awe of Lily keeping herself together, much less appearing as a happy person. I mean, if I were in her position, I would be sitting in a corner, hugging my knees to my chest, and sucking my thumb!

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