I keep telling myself that I’m not going to make fun of CG covers anymore. It’s just too easy and I like a cover that challenges my snarking capabilities. But this one… well, it’s black with varying shades of red, since it’s a vampire story. The black means… um, darkness and gloom. Oh, and shadows. And the red is for… uh, blood, I think. A vampire cover can’t have purple and pink and sparkly unicorns flying in the background. That would be silly. Man, the art department even spared the effort to look for spooky font. I guess they mean business. Comic Sans MS doesn’t exactly say “I am a two hundred year old whiny vampire looking for an emotionally stunted female whom I can manipulate to cater to me and stay with me for all time,” you know. But enough about that, let’s get to the models. Are the males wrists handcuffed together and if so, is he supposed to be choking the female with it? Erotic asphyxiation is hot! Speaking of the female, where are her breasts? I know some pretty flat-chested sisters, but this girl… she’s either really flat or her boobs are so saggy that they’ve drooped down to her navel. Man, I know this is supposed to be sexy at all, but it just looks like the male is a) Choking her or b) rubbing Vicks’ Vapor Rub on her chest. Maybe she has a cold.

Thanks for the cover, Amber!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 25th, 2006 at 11:27 pm and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.