I wonder if I could accidentally develop bulimia by looking at romance novel covers that make me throw up my breakfast so early in the morning. What? It’s noon? Holy crap, I’m supposed to be in class! Damn it. In her ongoing quest to either blind me or drive me so crazy that I pluck out my own eyeballs, Laura took it upon herself to send me this cover. Man, just look at this thing. It’s like the male model didn’t show up, so the photographer told his unwashed crackhead assistant to take off his clothes and get on top of the female model. His direction? To hump the poor girl’s thigh like a dog and stick his tongue up her nose. Upon hearing this, the female model threw a hissy fit, but she remembered that she needed to eat that day, so she conceded, but only if she could wear a towel over her girly parts so that the crackhead’s dirty bits wouldn’t touch hers. Just check out her body language. She is shoving homeboy away! I bet homeboy’s got stanky breath ’cause he sold his toothbrush (and comb and soap and towel and razor) for some crack. Homeboy lurves his crack!
Wait a minute… wait a minute… I think the female model might actually be a guy. Just look at her hairy ass arms. And her lack of boobage! Also, I think the art department photoshopped in the hair on her head in post-production. Wait… no, that’s a girly profile. Huh. Okay, she just doesn’t have any boobs, then.
Oh, schnap! Is this all you got, Laura? Come on now! Hit me with your best shot!
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May 19, 2006 at 7:06 pm
I thought armpit was bad, but this .. THIS.
I have no words.
May 19, 2006 at 8:59 pm
I can think of only one thing worse.
Ron Jeremy.
May 19, 2006 at 11:03 pm
Heh heh…upon first glance I read “Karola’s Kunt.”
Hee…
And what is the black mass around her neck and shoulders, and possibly draped over his right arm behind his profile? That’s WEIRD man. Plus that thing (I’ll just assume it’s a shadow) on her ribcage looks like she’s got a huge dent in her torso.
May 20, 2006 at 2:49 pm
Katie, what does it say about this cover that I too first read “Karola’s Kunt” upon first glance? Actually, what does it say about us?
I hope the black mass isn’t cancerous. If so, she should get that shit removed.
Oh, and nice to see you around here, Doug!
May 21, 2006 at 3:00 am
Eeewwwwhhhh. I checked this out at 5:30 am in a brief respite from sleep – now I’m not going to be able to get back to it. I’ll have this image implanted on the brain.
May 21, 2006 at 4:31 am
I saw the cover here and mistakenly thought I’d wound up on a porno site.
May 21, 2006 at 5:44 am
Yuck that man is seriously nasty!
May 22, 2006 at 1:18 pm
OMG that’s one hairy ass! I didn’t even read the snark…I just am reacting to that ass…how the hell are you supposed to walk out of the bookstore with this one??
May 28, 2006 at 9:55 am
He looks like Morris – the creepy useless ginger Doctor – from ER. Ew. ew ew ew.
June 2, 2006 at 2:34 am
Looks like he has an elephant man chin happening there …