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Oh Those Clever Euphemisms!

Man, this cover is about as subtle as that old “hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket in a darkened movie theater” trick. Laura says, “I love the symbolism. I think they must want us to shout at the top of our lungs, ‘The snake represents his penis! and she’s kissing it!’” Dude, are you trying to say that “charming the snake” is a euphemism for “giving the one eyed worm a mouth to mouth resuscitation”? Huh. That never would have occured to me. Let me ask you this, what kind of woman goes out into a snake infested jungle wearing only a tiny negligee? That can’t be too smart. Hasn’t this woman ever heard of malaria? And umm… snake bites? I’m telling you, she’s just asking for it now. Just check out the way the male and the snake are looking at her. It’s like they’re thinking, “Dude, is she really going to jam that thing down her throat? Five bucks says she can’t do it,” while fervently praying that she’ll “do it! do it!”. Next thing you know, man and snake will be fighting for the next one to go umm… explore her throat. Also, is it just me or does the male model look like the bastard child of Ted Danson and uh… a creepy, hairless thing? Oh, dude, I’m pretty dense when it comes to this stuff, but I just realized that the snake is posed directly in front of homeboy’s crotch making it look like he’s umm… you know what, I’m just gonna go ahead and leave this alone.

Thanks again for another image that I’ll have to brillo scrub off of my brain, Laura!

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 25th, 2006 at 11:23 pm and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

8 Responses to “Oh Those Clever Euphemisms!”

  1. Sandie
    Posted: May 26th, 2006 at 6:27 am
    1

    The longer I look at this cover (I can’t stop, it’s like a horrorific accident scene) I just think she must be flashing them some hooter because the strap of her, ummm, dress (?) is off one of her shoulders. The other strap is just about off the other shoulder…and it appears she doesn’t have a dress over her boob…but wait…is his hand trying to cop a feel???

    Hmmm.
    He can’t even give her a pillow for her knees.
    The snake…is verra verra long…
    oye.
    Now I have a headache.
    Laura

  2. Shuzluva
    Posted: May 26th, 2006 at 10:24 am
    2

    Sorry…cleaning the vomit off my keyboard. Could that snake be positioned in a more obvious spot? And what’s with the weird position of his head? It looks like the majority of his skull is hair. Of course that might explain why he has a snake between his legs. No guy with all his brains intact would allow a snake near his “man parts”!

  3. Danielle
    Posted: May 26th, 2006 at 11:16 am
    3

    The title says it all. Charming the Snake?? COME ON. lol. And what is with that dress? You can totally tell where that guy’s wig line ends. Ew. And it looks like his legs are black while the rest of his torso is tan. Maybe he has the lower form of a horse?!

  4. E.D'Trix
    Posted: May 26th, 2006 at 12:38 pm
    4

    Ummm, I am wondering where the bottom of hir right leg went.

  5. kmac
    Posted: May 27th, 2006 at 9:48 am
    5

    I checked this out on Amazon and it had, thank God, a totally different cover!

  6. Anonymous
    Posted: May 29th, 2006 at 7:50 am
    6

    This is THE best cover I’ve ever seen!

  7. LSB Author, Darragha Foster
    Posted: May 30th, 2006 at 12:27 pm
    7

    Agree w/ anonymous…this might just be the best cover I’ve ever seen. D*mn! I wish it were one of mine!

    Better than the 3-armed woman from Castles in the Air!

    Darragha :)

  8. MaryJanice Davidson
    Posted: Jun 2nd, 2006 at 11:53 am
    8

    As one of the authors, I can’t really say anything about the e-book cover. I’ve seen better covers and I’ve seen worse. However, I think you’ll like the paperback cover a lot better, which you can check out here:
    http://www.amazon.com/gp/produ.....p;n=283155

    (Or, just go to Amazon.com and look up “Charming the Snake”.)

    The paperback version is a little more “general reader friendly”, I think. Actually, I think it’s pretty charming (no pun intended). And about the e-book cover? Again: copping out and not commenting. :-)

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