Archive | June, 2006

What Rhymes with Orange?

June 29, 2006

15 Comments

What Rhymes with Orange?

I don’t even know where to start with this thing. I was so blinded by the ugly orange jumpsuit that the orange-haired guy is wearing that I didn’t even notice that his blue jumpsuit-wearing body has… a pair of antennae on top of his head. Damn, I can’t find any ears on him. I think [...]

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Danse Macabre by Laurell K. Hamilton

June 28, 2006

57 Comments

Danse Macabre by Laurell K. Hamilton

Grade: D+ I can say it. I can finally say it. I AM DONE WITH YOU, LAURELL K. HAMILTON! My friends told me that I was insane for sticking with you even after the literary abortion that was Narcissus in Chains, but good god, woman, I counted one hundred and twenty grammatical and typographical errors [...]

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So I Married My Fiance’s Evil Twin Brother

June 28, 2006

6 Comments

So I Married My Fiance’s Evil Twin Brother

Hmm… this looks like a promo picture for a soap opera. In fact, this looks like it came from a photo shoot of Soap Opera Digest. Just check out the way this girl is looking at her groom. It’s like she’s thinking, “You don’t kiss like Jean-Pierre. And you don’t smell like him. And you [...]

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A May and December of Next Year Romance

June 27, 2006

16 Comments

A May and December of Next Year Romance

Correct me if I’m wrong, but… that is a grown man standing behind that little blond girl, isn’t it? What the hell kind of “future together” will these two have? The only future I can see here is–is that a black guy? Huh. Not only is this a pedophiliac romance, but it’s an interracial pedophiliac [...]

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Visine… It Gets the Red Out!

June 26, 2006

5 Comments

Visine… It Gets the Red Out!

Darn… they switched from the Monkey Man cover to this. I hope I had nothing to do with it. My ego is as big enough as it is. If I had anything at all to do with this cover change, my brain will just explode. ‘Sides, I would be a total asshole if I even [...]

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