(sensuality rating: TBD)

DR. JENNY INTEROCITER: Lucius look, I know I’m one of your oldest friends, but someone has got to level with you. It can’t go on like this…

LUCIUS: What are you saying, Doc?

DR. JENNY INTEROCITER: Do you know how many women *looks Lucius firmly in the eye* on this ship have come into my office after a night with you complaining?

LUCIUS: Oh c’mon Jen, I don’t smell that bad…

DR. JENNY INTEROCITER: *continues to look Lucius firmly in the eye*

LUCIUS: …do I?

DR. JENNY INTEROCITER: …All needing treatment? _Intimate_ treatment?

LUCIUS: *looks aghast*

DR. JENNY INTEROCITER: *as if speaking to a small child* No Lucius, it has nothing to do with smell. Nothing. No, I’ve had six different women, and one female presenting hermaphrodite…

LUCIUS: …What!?!?! I haven’t done anything with any of the herma…

DR. JENNY INTEROCITER: …IN HERE in the last month — and how many times have I told you really should pay more attention to your partners? — and each and every one of them, each and every one, I’ve had to treat for *she winces* serious chafing.

LUCIUS: Chafing?

DR. JENNY INTEROCITER: Yes, Lucius, CHAFING, uncomfortable and painful soreness. Uncomfortable and painful sorness due to a lack of sufficient lubrication, you thoughtless bastard. Oh, they all said they started out wet enough, apparently your not completely useless, but they didn’t stay that way, and you never even *thought* to break out the water based lube, now did you? Not even ONCE.

LUCIUS: …water based…? *breaks off as he realises Dr. Interociter is clamping his right hand to her examination table* …HEY, what are you doing Jen…

DR. JENNY INTEROCITER: Well it stops now, even… *she heaves his heavily muscled form up onto the table and clamps his other arm down*…if I have attended to your training personally…*she removes her glasses, undoes her hair, shakes it and suddenly becomes a wild temptress in that exceedingly irritating way*…we’re going to stay in this room, you…*she rips off his futuristic pants with one powerful cybernetically enhanced yank*, me, *she peels off her lab coat, revealing breasts that are quite likely annoyingly pert* and your friend and mine Nurse Edward, who THIS TIME if you bother to concentrate…

NAKED NURSE EDWARDS: *entering holding an XXL size bottle of water based lubricant* Hi, Jen! I see you’ve got our patient right where we want him!

DR. JENNY INTEROCITER: *nods to nurse edwards*…you might actually notice has a little more equipment down below than the average female.

NAKED NURSE EDWARDS: *grins proudly*

DR. JENNY INTEROCITER: …And all three of us are going practice this thing…

NAKED NURSE EDWARDS: *squelches lube into her hands whilst laughing evilly*

DR. JENNY INTEROCITER: …until you’ve demonstrated to my and the Captain’s — yes, he will be getting the saved video stream — satisfaction that you can get this thing right. Capisce?

LUCIUS: *stares wordlessly transfixd by a Dr. Jenny he never realised existed*

…

Sorry Bonnie, Bam, everyone

Anyway, Bonnie Dee’s second raters are better than a lot of people’s first rate stuff says the fan girl.

I started trying to figure out why I’m so fond of her stuff but stopped when I realised that might mean I’d lose the fun. Maybe that’s it–I’m so used to reading as a writer and with Bonnie Dee’s stuff, I forget my job.

Thanks, Bam for the crit. In shorter stories I think there’s a tendency to wrap things up quick and neat. But even in longer works I know I’m liable to rush toward the end. A new story idea is always exciting, the middle starts to bog down and by the end I’m anxious to wrap it up, weave all those threads into cloth and have a new coat to wear.
I must guard against facile endings.

Darragha

Keishon