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Hooray for Space Hookers!

The author of this book herself sent me this cover. Why? I don’t know. Hey, Evie, haven’t you ever visited this site? Don’t you know what I do to book covers? What kind of outfit do you think I’m running here? You should just totally give me the cat o’nine tails and bend over, already. Heh. I’m kidding. I’m totally bottom and everyone knows it. What is going on here, anyway? This is an Aprodisia release. Surely Kensington can afford a better cover? I have seen better covers on ebooks. No, seriously. It’s not the girl in the middle I have a problem with. She’s kind of cute, I guess, if not a little flat (I like boobage on my cover models, thank you). Her bustier looks like it’s ready to fall off. No, my problem is with the boys in the background. They look… um… kind of… pudgy. They look like junior high boys who are ashamed to have been caught blowing each other in the locker room and the blonde is some weird dominatrix teacher or something. She looks like she’s about to drag them to detention by their underwear and take Polaroid pictures of them having boy-on-boy sex. Okay, that situation I just described is much hotter than this cover. Man, I just love that the production value of this cover is about… I don’t know, two dollars. Evie, I think you done pissed off someone in the art department and I think you should apologize.

Oh, and in case you can’t tell, this is a “fake ho” story:

Reporter Sadie Thomas knows that no “nice girl” would have fled the most conservative of Earth’s colonies to become a reporter. And no innocent would pose as a cybernetic prostitute on a Saturn mining colony to get the lowdown on the seamy, intergalactic sex industry. But she has no idea just how far she‘ll go until her cover is blown by undercover Old Earth vice detectives—icy, refined Holt and his rugged streetwise partner Blakely.

Thanks for the cover, Ms. Anderson!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 14th, 2006 at 3:08 pm and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

17 Responses to “Hooray for Space Hookers!”

  1. Leigh Ellwood
    Posted: Jun 14th, 2006 at 6:18 pm
    1

    Live from the Orbit Lounge in beautiful downtown Las Vegas, the Great Pretenders Revue is proud to present Marcy Applabaum as Madonna…

  2. Bam
    Posted: Jun 14th, 2006 at 6:29 pm
    2

    That’s some good shit, Leigh. I couldn’t have come up with that. Keep ‘em coming.

  3. Evangeline Anderson
    Posted: Jun 14th, 2006 at 9:19 pm
    3

    Bam,
    I sent the damn cover cause I hate the shit out of it!!! I don’t know about the art department hating me–maybe I somehow got some bad art Karma, I don’t know. But if so, in my next life I deserve to have only really hot covers cause this makes up for anthything I might have done.
    Oh, and Fake-ho is *totally* a sub-genre. And I love fake-ho books. Especially if they end in hot 3-way sex. But maybe that’s just nasty me.
    I am sending you the book. It is better than the cover. I will should it from the rooftops (if I wasn’t too wussy to climb on the roof) THIS BOOK IS BETTER THAN THE COVER!!! Evangeline

  4. Bam
    Posted: Jun 14th, 2006 at 9:35 pm
    4

    I’ll believe you when I see the book, Evangeline. ;)

  5. Ms. Librarian
    Posted: Jun 15th, 2006 at 7:08 am
    5

    I’ve read the book (in the e-book version) and it’s definitely MUCH better than that cover!

  6. E.Anderson
    Posted: Jun 15th, 2006 at 7:12 am
    6

    Thank you Ms. Librarian. You must have read it when it was Tandem Unit from Liquid Silver.
    Now we’ll see what Bam thinks cause I sent it to her last night.
    : ) Evangeline

  7. Sandie
    Posted: Jun 15th, 2006 at 8:58 am
    7

    It looks like they are sinking into the planet…part of their feet have been consumed!
    yikes!

    I think she needs a prop…a whip??
    Sandie

  8. E.Anderson
    Posted: Jun 15th, 2006 at 9:24 am
    8

    Sandie,
    she’s much too busy dragging down their underwear to show their buttcracks to hold a whip. Of course, the artist could have given her 3 hands so she could hold one. It woudln’t make much difference since she already bears no resemblance to my main character. Not that I am bitter or anything.
    Evangeline

  9. Shuzluva
    Posted: Jun 15th, 2006 at 12:58 pm
    9

    Oh, stop! I’m laughing so hard the bleach I poured on my eyes is coming out of my nose!

    Evie, I really hope the art department at Aprodisia trolls this blog…because they deserve everything they get here. It’s nice to know that two guys in black banana hammocks want to stand on the sun while an anorexic showgirl gives the evil eye to everyone.

    I really want to read this…and I can’t wait for Bam’s review.

  10. E.Anderson
    Posted: Jun 15th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
    10

    Thanks Shuzluva!
    But that’s Mars they’re standing on, thank you very much–not the sun. lol And I think they know they did me wrong. I got an e-mail from my editor promising me that the next book, which is an anthology of short ‘n spicy novellas called Pleasure Planet, will have a much nicer cover. But in the mean time this is my first NY release and I’m feeling very mistreated.
    BTW, why are you putting bleach in your eyes? Evangeline : )

  11. E.Anderson
    Posted: Jun 15th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
    11

    Oh, and one more thing–a note about my editor just in case they do troll this site. (I doubt it.) Except for the hidious cover, she has been nothing but nice to me. Seriously–she even got MaryJanice Davidson to read the book and give me an awesome cover blurb. But damn it, I just hate the damn cover.

  12. Bam
    Posted: Jun 15th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
    12

    BTW, why are you putting bleach in your eyes?

    Are you kidding? That’s almost a requirement while reading this site. How else can you eradicate these horrendous images from your sight?

  13. E.Anderson
    Posted: Jun 15th, 2006 at 2:40 pm
    13

    Oooooh, now I get it. The Sci-fi writer in me just assumed that Shuzluva was some kind of robot that needed to clean her occular orbits. But this works too.
    : P Evangeline

  14. Shuzluva
    Posted: Jun 16th, 2006 at 6:38 am
    14

    Evangeline, flip over to Bam’s book reviews and you’ll see that I’m a sucker for sex in space (or anything else in space, for that matter). You had me at Saturn mining colony!

  15. E.Anderson
    Posted: Jun 16th, 2006 at 8:45 am
    15

    Shuzluva,
    LOL! All I’ve been doing all day is reading Bam’s reviews. Haven’t written a word of my own which is so bad! But I’m so glad to hear you like Sci-fi. I know some women avoid it like the plague because it has traditionally been such a male dominated genre. But i say screw it–I’m taking the universe by storm. Space hookers, Fake-hos, Threesomes on Mars, hell I go for it. : ) I can’t wait to see what Bam thought of my book, but i know she’s got a lot on her TBR table so I’ll try to be patient and good.
    : ) Evangeline

  16. April Martinez
    Posted: Jun 16th, 2006 at 12:04 pm
    16

    Evangeline sent me a copy of this cover too before the book’s release, and I couldn’t quite believe it — I was expecting something, well, very different from a major print publisher. As someone else has pointed out … something with a little more production value.

  17. E.Anderson
    Posted: Jun 16th, 2006 at 12:25 pm
    17

    April,
    That’s why you need to get your ass to New York and hire on with Kensington so you can do my next two book covers. C’mon, chop-chop-what are you waiting for? lol
    Hugs, Evangeline

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