Maybe someone can tell me what that thing is… You know, that thing that is sitting between the little girl’s legs. That’s not a baby, is it? That’s a doll, it has to be, because babies don’t sit up that straight at infancy, right? ‘Cause they can hold up their heads or anything? I’m going to assume that’s a doll and not a real baby. I mean, it’s totally freaking me out. It looks like a little weird monster thing… you know, like those creepy creatures from It’s Alive! And who doesn’t think that the gray bear in the corner come alive at night and try to suffocate the little girl in her sleep?

What the hell is going on here, anyway? 8 KIDS? Two parents + 8 Kids=TEN, right? Where are the other six kids? Wait… Mom could be carrying sextuplets, I suppose. Ah-ha! I just figured out the plot of this story. All the short-haired lady has ever wanted is to have babies, but her lesbian partner did not want any. The short-haired lady thinks that she was born to be a mother and can’t be with anyone who doesn’t want to have children with her, so she dumps her lover. She decides that she’s going to have children on her own, so she goes to a sperm bank, and gets herself impregnanted. She is thinking she’s going to have one, maybe twins, but all of the eggs come to fruition and she’s going to have sex…tuplets. She’s thinking “oh shit, I’m not dealing with this alone,” so she goes to her brother’s best friend who has always been in love with her–and is recently widowed and now has to deal with a precocious little girl on his own–and presents a marriage of convenience to him just so her children can have a father. In turn, she will take care of his little girl. Chubby-cheeked man jumps all over the opportunity because he has always been in love with her–even though she was a lesbian–and marries her right away. Unbeknownst to the both of them, she is actually carrying his children from the left over batch of the sperm he donated in college for Top Ramen money. The end. Sheeeit, y’all know y’all wanna read it now.

Thanks for this byooootiful cover, Ambz!

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