Speaking of subtle, check this baby out. Laura thinks it’s duuuurty, but I think it’s kind of hot. Get a gorgeous nubian princess, stick her in a gold tube top, give a lollipop that she’ll lick sexily, and voila! you have a damn hot cover. What I don’t like about this cover is the frickin’ title. It’s a little clunky, a little long, and a little too… something. I just don’t like it. I mean, it’s just as long and awkward as “Woman Who Finds Sexual Fulfillment When She Breaks Away from the Missionary Position and Tries Making Love to Her Lover with Her on Top”. I’m thinking this book is probably about a shy girl who discovers her own groove, vows to be more sexually aggressive, and starts dressing like a hussy just so she can land the ultra-conservative partner at the law firm where she works. I’m totally making that up, by the way. I have no idea what this book is about, but I’m willing to bet a lot of money that somewhere in the book, the girl will end up in a sexual position where she will be riding her lover like a cowgirl. I’m just sayin’.

Anyway, I’m not sure if I like this girl upside-down. Her eyes look freaky this way. It’s supposed to look playful, not scary. But boy… is she ever so purrrrrty.

Thanks for the cover, Laura!

Man, this cover is frickin’ hot. I am a little aroused just looking at it… okay, you probably didn’t need to know that, but I know for a fact that some of you do. I don’t know if it’s because it was written by Hugh Laurie, the hottest grumpy blue-eyed older guy on the planet or because that gun that’s sticking out of his pants is a frickin’ canon. God, this cover is hot. I wanna make love to it. I want to have its babies. I just totally dig the noirish comic book style of the cover… as well as… have I mentioned the GIGANTOR gun that is sticking out of this guy’s pants? I can’t stop looking at it. It might as well have a blinking neon pink arrow with the words “look at me! look at me!” written on it pointing to it. Apparently, it’s a fake-spy James Bond spoof story. Hot damn, that’s hot. I read the excerpt for this book on Amazon and I sooooo wanna read it. Why is it so frickin’ expensive? I can’t afford no $21.95 for a frickin’ hard-cover! Man, just looking at Hugh Laurie’s name on the front of this book is turning me on. Ha-ha. Just kidding, you pervs. Don’t go dashing off to your respective dark corners and rub one off fantasizing about me turned on. Have I mentioned the HUMONGOUS gun sticking out of this guy’s pants? I just wanted to point it out again just in case you haven’t noticed. Man, talk about subtle.

Ah, to hell with subtlety. We need more covers like this!

Is this a romance novel? Yes. Yes it is. Believe me when I say that the U.S. version of this cover is much more acceptable and actuallly kind of nice. Why would the publisher do this to our French brethren? It seems kind of mean. Unless the French like weird, tattooed, naked troll children who are half animal, half… I don’t know. This is just too… bizaare. I don’t understand what’s going on here or what these things are. Dear Lord, they have wee-dangly-dobblins hanging between their legs, y’all. This looks the beginning of a gang-rape. Poor girl. Can you imagine her reporting this incident to the cops? “Umm… officer, I was on my way to the salon to get my hair did when these creepy naked troll things attacked me.” When I first this cover, I thought, “Whoa… a dirty Wizard of Oz” complete with a naked Cowardly Lion, naked Flying Monkeys, and a naked… um… Beast Monster Thing. Oh, and for my ignorant readers who don’t know French, the title says… uh… The Lady… and the Naked Troll Children. Ha-ha. No, it doesn’t. To confound you guys further, here is the plot to this delightful cover (in English for you peasants):

In a land of forbidding castles, sacred prophecies, and unholy betrayals, mystery surrounds the one woman who holds the key to an ancient legacy. She is Ceridwen, an orphan unaware of her immense power–until fate leads her from a secluded abbey into the tower of a feared sorcerer.

Dain Lavrans has no magic in himself, only the secrets of medicine he uncovered while a soldier in the Crusades. But he finally beholds true enchantment in the spell of passion innocently woven by the ethereal Ceridwen. Yet there are many who seek the maiden, all meaning to wrest her power for themselves. Now Ceridwen and Dain must struggle to escape the snares set by friend and foe alike, even as they discover a love that promises to bind them forever.

Ain’t that nice, you guys? Oddly enough, what made me want to buy this is the awful French cover. I mean, why wouldn’t you want to read this?

Thanks for this cover, Katharina!