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Stop Looking at Me, You Creepy Freak!

Oh, man, this cover is messed up. Look at that damn baby and tell me it doesn’t look like one of those creatures from Galaxy Quest that are all cute at first, but turn out to be these nasty little things with fangs! Is that even a real baby? Aw, shit, you guys, it won’t stop staring at me and it’s really starting to freak me out. I stood up and walked around and its beady little eyes followed my every move like those creepy ass paintings. I’m convinced that the little shit is actually Rosemary’s Baby. Maybe the modeling agency got suspicious of Harlequin always asking for babies and bring them back catatonic that they wouldn’t give them any more babies, so Harlequin was forced to make do with umm… I don’t even know what that is, guys. Isn’t that guy afraid that the baby will just swivel its head towards him and take a huge chunk of his face off? I bet that nasty little bugger has thousands of tiny little teeth inside its little mouth that’s just waiting to rip into him. Maybe the baby is like an Alien and has a mouth within a mouth that can pop out and punch a hole in your head. But the most disturbing aspect of this cover is the dude’s leather jacket. Check it out, it has buckles and shit. That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever seen. And oh, I think the dude may be Kevin Federline. In that case, chomp away, little guy.

Thanks to Bev for this beaut of a cover.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 31st, 2006 at 8:47 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

11 Responses to “Stop Looking at Me, You Creepy Freak!”

  1. December Quinn
    Posted: Aug 31st, 2006 at 9:28 am
    1

    That is the most horribly creepy baby I’ve ever seen.

    It looks like the horrible dead baby from Trainspotting.

    I’m going to have nightmares.

  2. Bev (BB)
    Posted: Aug 31st, 2006 at 9:35 am
    2

    Well, I knew how much you just lurved baby covers . . . ahem, got something in my throat there. ;p

    But you know, now that you’ve enlarged it, he does look creepy. The baby, I mean, although the man isn’t exactly anything to write home about, either.

  3. Shuzluva
    Posted: Aug 31st, 2006 at 9:41 am
    3

    That is Kevin Federline! Well, his career as a rapper hasn’t worked out, so he has to do something to bring home the bacon!

    It looks like that whacked-out alien baby is going to rip his pinky off. Go Baby!

  4. A.M. Hartnett
    Posted: Aug 31st, 2006 at 10:18 am
    4

    I think the dude may be Kevin Federline

    Coffee spewing from nostrils? Check. Big mess on laptop keyboard that will never come out? Check.

    Though to me he looks more like if Kevin Federline and Danny Zuko had a really greasy baby together.

  5. Evangeline Anderson
    Posted: Aug 31st, 2006 at 10:31 am
    5

    I know why Harlequin does this kind of cover. It’s because even the most baby-hating among us is hard-wired to love the site of a man who is good with kids. I was out shopping the other day and passed by this cute guy sitting on a bench with his little girl. She was about 3 and kind of sniffling and he was comforting her. OMG–I felt weak at the knees. And I don’t even want kids. What’s up with that? Harlequin is hitting way below the belt with this one, even tho the damn baby looks like a Muppit and the guy is a Fonzie wanna be. Evangeline

  6. Bam
    Posted: Aug 31st, 2006 at 1:07 pm
    6

    The other day, I needed to take a break from my life as an ASPIRING ROMANCE NOVELIST, so I headed down to the beach with my copy of SM 101 and a giant umbrella. I spotted a hawtie Superman look-alike surfer with a little girl with him. The little girl was running around like a maniac and ended up tripping. The guy just ignored her, so she ran up to him and said, “daddy, daddy, I tripped!” and he said, “I know, baby, I saw.” He was trying to be not look worried, so that she wouldn’t see it and cry for more attention, but he did inspect her for injuries.

    I hate kids, but man, that duo melted my heart. And the daddy was HAWT. Dude smiled at me but he probably saw the book I was reading and got freaked out ’cause he looked away really quickly. Stupid research.

  7. Evangeline Anderson
    Posted: Aug 31st, 2006 at 1:08 pm
    7

    Aww–see what I mean? It’s a biological imperative–”love men who are good with kids” somewhere in our physical make-up and we can’t get rid of it. I have to add here that animals and children love my hubby. The minute we get around the neices and nephews they all make a bee line for him. Must be why I’ve kept him around for so long. : ) Evangeline

  8. Kaitlin
    Posted: Aug 31st, 2006 at 6:48 pm
    8

    LOL! dude, that kid looks like he’s been electrocuted or something! Icky!

    Bam-If you’re feeling creative, I’ve got a contest on me blog. Fun, fun, fun. :-D

  9. Kristie (J)
    Posted: Aug 31st, 2006 at 7:56 pm
    9

    You know - I tried the moving away trick and you’re right!!!! The eyes followed me. I even left the room and I could still feel them following me.

    You are so funny by the way - You just kill me LOL

  10. Lyn
    Posted: Sep 1st, 2006 at 2:55 am
    10

    Ugh!! Evil, evil, evil!

  11. Melissa
    Posted: Sep 2nd, 2006 at 8:53 am
    11

    It’s the spawn of Chuckie!!

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