Career woman who never got married
You think your heart is a barren wasteland
A boyfriend told you that you are frigid
And you never learned how to use your hand
But the new boss gets your motor running
Even though you like to play hard to get
His smooth talkin’ gets your body burning
When you should be filing for harassment
You end up in bed and you get pregnant
And the man insists that you get married
‘Cause his views are positively ancient
With your sexist boss you should haven’t dallied
This is the standard plot for a romance
And my early morning Harlequin rants.
Cover courtesy of my buddy Amber.
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September 1, 2006 at 9:34 am
Bam, for God’s sake, please get back to work. Write me up some hot shit!
September 1, 2006 at 9:53 am
Bam, Jaimi is on the right track. Stop fucking around and get back to work!
Before you do, I must give you kudos on the hilarious poem. I’ll be sure to wear my best slinky black slip to the office since some hot hunky boss will be making out with me over a desk…’cause that happens to every hardened businesswoman, right?
Now, back to work, bitch!
September 1, 2006 at 11:49 am
Love you Bam but I have major problems with your meter on that last stanza. Also married and dallied don’t exactly rhyme. It’s funny tho. : P Evangeline
September 1, 2006 at 11:55 am
There once was a hot secretary
With a boss she wanted to marry
When he made an advance
She said, “Pull down your pants
‘Cause your baby I’m wantin’ to carry”
lol–Your turn, Bam. now do a haiku. Evangeline
September 1, 2006 at 12:17 pm
Love you Bam but I have major problems with your meter on that last stanza.
I’m horrible with meter. I think it’s because I have an inner ear problem. It’s also why I can’t sing.
Here’s your haiku:
Messy office sex
On your slimy boss’s desk
Stapler in your butt
Here’s a bonus limerick
There was once a virgin named Mary
Whose hymen was a burden to carry
She poked it with a stick
And imagined it was Rick
And promptly popped her cherry.
September 1, 2006 at 12:19 pm
Jaimi and Shuzluva,
you guys are such slave-drivers. Good thing I’m bottom. Hawt shit.
September 1, 2006 at 12:34 pm
Bam,
Much prefer the haiku. Also prefer not to read this shit while trying to drink hot tea. Hot tea is now all over my keyboard which is so not good. : P Evangeline
September 2, 2006 at 8:22 am
You guys crack me up. I’d love to contribute, but I suck at poetry, even shitty poetry.
September 2, 2006 at 9:42 am
Little black dress on her
Kissing boss on the desk
[Secret] Baby on the way
September 3, 2006 at 5:42 pm
There once was a blogger named Bam
who gave crappy covers a slam
then she tried rhyming
but got quite a sliming
Go back to your snarking please, ma’am!