Things that Make You Go “Ewww…”

Oh, gross. I know what the title is trying to say here, but it definitely gave me pause. About ten seconds worth of pauses combined with an “eww! eww! eww!” session. Damn it, Harlequin, when you gonna learn? Who comes up with these titles? How could this wee little baby be the bride for the cowboy when it’s obviously a boy himself? Middle America don’t allow no same sex marriages, never mind that the bride is only five months old. All kidding aside, I know that the bride is the baby’s momma. I think. Probably. Just look at the little pleased as a punch look on the baby’s face. It’s saying “Hah! Momma finally done tricked a cowboy into thinking he’s my daddy!” And because this is a Harlequin romance, we know he is the daddy because he is the only man that the momma has ever loved and she lost her virginity to him ONE SPECIAL NIGHT, which resulted in the conception of Junior there. DNA test? What’s that? No, we don’t need not steeeenkin’ DNA test! A cowboy like that just goes by his gut and he just knows that the baby is his the second he sees it. Never mind that the mother had to become a truckstop whore just so she can buy formula for the baby ’cause her stupid ass wouldn’t approach the cowboy for child support on the account of her own stubborn pride even though the cowboy is bazillionaire (aren’t they all?). Anyway, there’s really nothing wrong with this cover. It’s a little cutesy, sure, but it’s a Harlequin. What the hell do you guys expect, whips and chains?

Thanks to Christine for the cover!

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 16th, 2006 at 10:07 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

5 Responses to “Things that Make You Go “Ewww…””

LorelieLong
Posted: Sep 16th, 2006 at 1:35 pm

Is it just me or does that cowboy appear to have a bit of a gut? Is that why he’s in fuzzy focus, at the back of the cover?

And her grin is scarily self-congratulatory, especially considering that fuzzy focus?

Kristie (J)
Posted: Sep 16th, 2006 at 3:09 pm

Is it just me or does that hat not quite fit on his rather pin sized head??? I mean if your gonna where a cowboy hat in the house, the least you can do is get one that fits. In fact, the more I look at it the more he looks like a cartoon. Now who is it??? - Got It!!! Shaggy from Skooby Do in a cowboy hat that doesn’t fit right!!
Plus that baby reminds me of Bob the baby who hawks things like subs.

Bam
Posted: Sep 16th, 2006 at 3:14 pm

Uh… Kristie… obviously the hat is perched on his skull that way to accomodate HIS GIANT BRAIN!

KimD
Posted: Sep 17th, 2006 at 1:49 pm

That kid looks annoying—like he would just annoy the heck out of me with his peppiness and “Look Who’s Talking” banter.

SKapusniak
Posted: Sep 18th, 2006 at 4:16 am

No Bam, I think you’re wrong on the hat.

–

MOMMA BRIDE: Ummmm, did your hat just start crying?

HAT GUY: N…no. No it didn’t

HAT: *sounds of muffled tantrum*

MOMMA BRIDE: It did, it is! I can hear it!

HAT GUY: No. No. It’s that the sound of …umm, errr…pigeons…that’s right, just pigeons…outside. Nothing to do with the hat.

HAT: *rocks back and forth, continuing to wail*

MOMMA BRIDE: You got a ANOTHER BABY under that hat…

HAT GUY: …MONKEY, it’s a monkey, a monkey under the hat, just a MONKEY, not a BABY…

MOMMA BRIDE: …You asshole! I thought I was one with the secret baby in this book! But no, you have to go and impregnate some floosie and…

HAT: *loud farting sounds, amid the wailing*

HAT GUY: *takes off hat to avoid imminent asphyxiation by gas attack, revealing SECRET BABY sitting on his head*

MOMMA BRIDE: …*gasps* that…that…baby on your head, she’s the spitting image of MY LONG LOST SISTER!

LONG LOST SISTER: *enters stage right* Hi Sis! I see you’ve met Hat Guy, and our little one *chuckles baby on Hat Guy’s head under chin, picks her up and and hoists her onto her shoulder*?

MOMMA BRIDE: …bb..but…but..bu…

LONG LOST SISTER: Oooooooh, who is the cutest little darlin’ in the crib? And btw nice dress, why didn’t you tell me you were getting married?

HAT GUY: *looks frantically for exit in complete panic*

—

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