Hey, Suzanne Brockmann writes all of those Navy Seal books, right? As far as I know, Navy Seal dudes are supposed to be in tip-top prime condition. Why does this dude look like he spends his breakfast, lunch, and dinner at his local Carl’s Jr stuffing Six Dollar Burgers and french fries (with ranch dressing) down his gullet by the truckload? You know the female’s got her hand on his chin like that just to cover the fact that dude’s chin long ago merged with his neck. Eww. Not only is he a chubster, he also looks kind of gay. He reminds me of every chubby guy in high school who was slightly effeminate and hung out with all the girls and pretended to have crushes on them. He was the guy you could count on to say, “Oh, honey, that purse don’t go with your dress.” Whenever the girls had sleepovers, they would invite the guy ’cause he was “safe”. On the last night of the senior trip to Cabo, he would confess to all his girl friends that he’s gay and no one would be surprised at all. Hell, the female on this cover looks a lot more butch than he does. This dude may be tall, but he’s kind of pale and probably only dangerous with his caustic wit and sassy one-liners. Also, is it me or does it look like his collar is choking him? It was as though his military uniform could sense that he’s not actually straight, so it’s punishing him. Damn you, Uncle Sam, and your judgmental ways! As for the female, she looks vaguely Asiatic, but also kind of old. She reminds me of my friend’s hip, sassy Japanese mom. Actually, she looks kind of like her, too. She’s the mom that everyone thinks is “cool”. Well, she’d been complaining about the rising cost of medical insurance, so maybe she started posing for romance covers for some extra cash.
Thanks to Bev for the cover!
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September 18, 2006 at 10:37 am
Brockmann hates this cover too, and has quietly, subtly snarked it since getting a new publisher. It’s especially ironic because that character is supposed to be the hottest, amazing Brad Pitt kind of gorgeous.
September 18, 2006 at 11:49 am
John Candy lives!
I remember seeing that cover on All About Romance’s Worst Cover Contest for (I think) 2001. God, it looks worse than when I first saw it.
September 18, 2006 at 1:59 pm
This cover doesn’t say “Tall, Dark & Dangerous,” so much as “Big & Tall,” and possibly, “Husky.” And what’s up with the 5 o’clock shadow?
This scene looks like it’s taking place at a funeral parlor. Or Aunt Rhonda’s front room that no-one’s allowed to go in.
September 18, 2006 at 2:29 pm
Even his fingers are pudgy. That can’t be an accident.
September 18, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Dude! It’s Jack Black in a lost SNL skit!
September 18, 2006 at 5:33 pm
I know Brockman used to offer a little smiley face sticker to cover his face.
September 18, 2006 at 5:34 pm
She looks a bit Ashley Judd-ish. He looks like the guy from JAG (Not the main one)
September 18, 2006 at 5:51 pm
He reminds me of every chubby guy in high school who was slightly effeminate and hung out with all the girls and pretended to have crushes on them. He was the guy you could count on to say, “Oh, honey, that purse don’t go with your dress.”
Just like Michael Kors.
September 18, 2006 at 7:16 pm
Nicolette, it don’t matter that he’s got a smiley faced sticker to cover his head. That body is still made of dough and also, his sausage fingers are not exactly sexy.
I bet he smells like bacon grease too. eww.
September 18, 2006 at 9:28 pm
Even Suzanne Brockmann called him the Pillsbury Doughboy!
http://www.suzannebrockmann.com/Lucky_Cover.htm
September 18, 2006 at 9:29 pm
I know, but the author was trying to cope with the pain in her own way. I can’t imagine what I’d do in her place, other that curl up in a fetal position, and weep softly.
Your cover is coming soon, I’m sure!
September 19, 2006 at 12:05 am
“He reminds me of every chubby guy in high school who was slightly effeminate and hung out with all the girls and pretended to have crushes on them. He was the guy you could count on to say, “Oh, honey, that purse don’t go with your dress.”
You mean like Damian in “Mean Girls?”
It kind of looks like the girl is making fun of his chin[s].
September 19, 2006 at 11:31 am
You know, I spent so much time gazing in horrified awe at the pudgy fingers, goofy jowels, simpering expression….. that I almost overlooked his tiny, puny legs. WHAT’S UP WITH THAT??? Where did they go? And how about the unusually fey positioning of his little, tiny feet?
Oh god….. This cover is a crime against nature.
September 20, 2006 at 1:54 am
She is a Lot butch-er than he is. She has visible muscles for a start. Actually I am mildly envious of her upper arms- visible deltoids, biceps AND triceps? The girl works out.
September 28, 2006 at 6:28 am
and he doesn’t … shame, cause the book was decent.