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Somebody Escaped the CW Zoo!

Man, look at these two genetically engineered freaks of nature. They’re both just so pretty, pretty, pretty. Put a wig on that dude and you’d have two chicks on this cover, for real. Homeboy looks like the bastard son of k.d. Lang and Prince or something. Yes, I had to make that joke because it was the most obvious one, sorry. You know me, I go for the low blows. While I admire camera-ready pretty boys, (i.e. Brandon Routh and Tom Welling), I have to put my foot down when the dude looks about… oh, I don’t know, seven years old and the goatee was only added on so that nobody gets accused of peddling child pornography! Speaking of facial hair, check out his brows, dude. They totally look like dueling caterpillars. I think one caterpillar is particularly more pissed off because it has its hackles raised. Heh. Also, I can’t get over his hair. It’s got that overly-gelled spiky look favored by white boys who think they’re thugs or something. Eww. Speaking of hair, I bet he’s hairless all over because he doesn’t even have pubes yet nor have his balls even descended. Nasty. As for the girl, she’s rather pretty, no? It’s a shame about the fuchsia eye shadow, but I think she’s kind of working it with the red hair. She totally looks like a star of one of those forgettable horror movies that Hollywood seems to churn out by the dozens. She’s like… the slut friend of the virgin girl who gets killed first (the slut, not the virgin). Anyway, put some prom gear on these two kids and they’re ready to go. Dude looks pissed, though. I bet it’s because the girl is touching him and he thinks girls have cooties… oh, and he’s gay.

Thanks to Christine for this cover!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 24th, 2006 at 10:35 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

9 Responses to “Somebody Escaped the CW Zoo!”

  1. Lauren
    Posted: Oct 24th, 2006 at 10:02 am
    1

    I totally think he looks like my own personal Vanilla Ice.

  2. shuzluva
    Posted: Oct 24th, 2006 at 11:21 am
    2

    I can’t look at that cover without thinking 80’s prom. Teenage sex (or groping, or what have you) is just a turnoff for me.

  3. December Quinn
    Posted: Oct 24th, 2006 at 12:53 pm
    3

    He reminds me of Marco from Degrassi: The Next Generation.

    Only without the fluffy hairdo.

    But with the gay.

  4. householdgoddess
    Posted: Oct 24th, 2006 at 5:11 pm
    4

    The pretty boy is an iStock royalty-free image dude. I have seen his photo hundreds of times while scanning the site for “not-so pretty” boys.

    It’s a nice cover, over all–but the boy is terribly feminine looking!

  5. Lyn
    Posted: Oct 24th, 2006 at 10:23 pm
    5

    Eeeeww! He’s so pale he’s blending in with the background! No. Not my cup of tea.

  6. Nicolette
    Posted: Oct 24th, 2006 at 10:25 pm
    6

    He’s freaky in the way that Matt on Nip/Tuck is freaky.

  7. December Quinn
    Posted: Oct 25th, 2006 at 2:22 am
    7

    Nicolette, aaaaah! Matt makes my skin go all creepy and itchy!

  8. Bam
    Posted: Oct 25th, 2006 at 10:25 am
    8

    I have a weird… sexual relationship with Matt (in my head). Sometimes I wanna have sex with him like Ava, sometimes I just want to brush his hair. But he’s such a pouty little bitch.

  9. Jenn
    Posted: Oct 27th, 2006 at 5:10 am
    9

    LOL

    You ladies crack me up. While the cover is a little to white for me, I will say I read this book and it was very good.

    So I guess in the case we have to now judge the books by it’s cover literaly.

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