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It Puts the “Ass” in Class

Good Lord, what are they trying to advertise here, a soft-core porno starring Tawny Peaks and Duke “Big” Johnson or the gorgeous women of professional wrestling? Seriously, I can’t get over how tacky this cover is. What is sexy about it, pray tell? The overly bleached blonde with the obviously fake bazooms who looks like she’d blow any dude for ten bucks in a dark alley for crack money? And check out her eyes. She’s either sleepy or her lids are collapsing under the sheer amount of eyeliner she’s got on there. What kind of audience is this cover trying to attract, thirteen year old boys? According to the blurb, this woman is supposed to be a “Delicant–a prized pleasure slave”. Sure, I believe that. If “delicant” meant dirty, dirty peroxide whore with big fake boobs and has sex with men and women on film, especially if the film were titled “Delicant: Gangbang 2006!”. I would have preferred it if the guy was standing in front of the chick, instead. I mean, other than the fact that his hair is obviously photoshopped, he’s not bad-looking. He’s got that dark, possibly “crazy” look that some of you bitches seem to like. Good heavens, he even looks like a Torc. He’s got nice man-titty, too, though he may have less body hair than the woman. Yeah, stick the dumb blonde in the back! Nay, let’s just remove the blonde and her stupid fake books entirely. Hooray for explotation of men!

Thanks to Anonymous for this cover.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 30th, 2006 at 4:44 pm and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

6 Responses to “It Puts the “Ass” in Class”

  1. Laura
    Posted: Oct 30th, 2006 at 6:53 pm
    1

    Weren’t these two voted off “Rock Star: SuperNova”?

  2. Bam
    Posted: Oct 31st, 2006 at 12:25 am
    2

    Cue Tommy Lee saying, “That was wonderful. You fucking rocked me. I want to fuck the shit out of your songs. Oh, and you.”

    And Dave Navarro: “Did I tell you guys I was in Jane’s Addiction?”

  3. Kate R
    Posted: Oct 31st, 2006 at 4:24 am
    3

    happy halloween. . . I’m sorry. You can’t put that creepy His Best Friend’s Baby in the side bar and comment about other covers when that EXAMPLE of TERROR is just sitting there, drawing our attention.

    what scares me about Torc’s Savation cover is that it’s not posers, but they’re people imitating posers. The same strange expressionless gaze at nowhere. Posers have won the battle and will now steal the souls of every human cover model.

  4. Kate R
    Posted: Oct 31st, 2006 at 4:25 am
    4

    yeah my grammar sucks but it’s 7:15 am and I need coffee and I’m too lazy to get it.

  5. shuzluva
    Posted: Oct 31st, 2006 at 6:48 am
    5

    I’m sorry. You can’t put that creepy His Best Friend’s Baby in the side bar and comment about other covers when that EXAMPLE of TERROR is just sitting there, drawing our attention.

    Kate, that’s what Halloween is all about! Bam’s scaring the shit out of all of us by making us think she might be reading that!

    And people who look like poser=corpse. So this is the perfect Halloween cover. Go get your coffee honey, I’m right there with ya!

  6. Melany
    Posted: Oct 31st, 2006 at 11:36 am
    6

    I took a sip of coffee and almost lost it when I clicked here this morning.

    Somehow all I could think: I have arrived! My cover made BAM’s blog.

    Lany of Melany Logen and Mechele Armstrong

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