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Who Doesn’t Love a Classic?

Sorry for the hottie glomming of late. When I’m hormonal, I go crazy and tend to only post pictures of hot young men. I’m wacky like that. To make it up to you guys, here’s a nice little clinch cover where our models are posed in a classic clinch… um… pose. For all you kids out there, back in the day, before clip art and computer-generated posers were invented, people were actually paid to dress up in funny outfits and pose for a photographer. It was how Fabio got famous. Believe it or not, before Fabio got old and started showing up in margarine commercials, he used to be kind of sexy. There was a presence about him, you know? The guy on this cover, he’s… eh, kind of bland. He doesn’t have the cheekbones, the sloping forehead, the square jaw and chin that can crack a walnut. He’s got nothing. If he were a real cover model, his profile alone would have made us breathless from ten feet away. He is so bland that I’m not even interested to know what he’s wearing under his kilt, which looks more like a skirt that you can get at JC Penney, by the way. That’s a mom’s skirt. This guy ain’t going nowhere in the world of cover models, man. Next! As for the girl, the less said about her, the better. I mean, is it me or is she kind of homely? Her hair isn’t really wind-blown and wild as much as it is frizzy. Sure, she’s got nice skin, but her face is kind of boring. And she’s looking at the guy in a taunting manner, like she’s saying “Is that all you got?” Our guy, however, seems to be struggling with her weight. It’s just an awkward pose, I think. My back hurts just looking at it. Who holds women like this, honestly? I mean, his one leg is supporting all of her weight. Speaking of legs, where is her other one? Was it swallowed by her voluminous skirt or is this book about a woman who finds love despite her peg leg?

Thanks to Christine for the cover!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 1st, 2006 at 2:57 pm and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

10 Responses to “Who Doesn’t Love a Classic?”

  1. Kaitlin
    Posted: Nov 1st, 2006 at 6:51 pm
    1

    The chick looks like Bernadette Peters…you know the crazy redhead comedian. Definitely. LOL!

  2. Lyn
    Posted: Nov 1st, 2006 at 10:30 pm
    2

    Ick! Looks like a red headed version of Matt Daimon sporting a hair cut bordering on MULLET! His arms are nice enough tho’. Personally I think the woman looks like she’s having trouble deciding on something or else she is wondering where she left her other leg.

  3. December Quinn
    Posted: Nov 2nd, 2006 at 8:29 am
    3

    Actually, she appears to be hovering six inches or so above his leg, and his hand is obviously not holding her up–look how his fingers are relaxed.

    No, neither of them are particularly attractive, but she does have a very nice figure. His eyes look like painted clown-slits, though. There’s no eyeballs.

  4. Karla
    Posted: Nov 2nd, 2006 at 8:33 am
    4

    The chick is giving off valley-girl vibes.

    Her: like is that like it?
    Him: uh…I showed you my horse.

  5. Bam
    Posted: Nov 2nd, 2006 at 10:06 am
    5

    His eyes look like painted clown-slits, though. There’s no eyeballs.

    In the Batman/Superman Adventures, Superman has slits for eyes and only Bruce Wayne and Lois Lane have eyeballs.

    I always got excited whenever I saw Bruce Wayne ’cause his eyes were so blue.

  6. Ames
    Posted: Nov 2nd, 2006 at 11:25 am
    6

    Fabio popped up on America’s Next Top Model last week. FYI

    It was pretty funny.

  7. bettie
    Posted: Nov 2nd, 2006 at 9:11 pm
    7

    I loved how all the would-be Top Models seemed a tad reluctant to touch Fabio - like they might catch Old Man Cooties, or something.

    December is so right about the clown eye thing. I couldn’t figure out why this cover seemed creepy. Sure, she looks like she’s missing an arm and a leg. And yes, there is the mullet issue. Also, his kilt reminds me of my local parochial school’s plaid skirts. But I’ve seen all that before (though not necessarily on the same cover). The clown-eyes, however are a new, and unsettling twist.

  8. Keziah
    Posted: Nov 6th, 2006 at 6:42 am
    8

    Hi. I’d just like to say, my name is Keziah. I think it was you who said that it was there favourite name? Haha, I hate my name, wanna trade?
    LoL.
    xoxo

  9. Isabella Snow
    Posted: Nov 6th, 2006 at 1:12 pm
    9

    Mmm.. I like his arms.

    But where are the poor girls shoes??

  10. Charlene
    Posted: Nov 16th, 2006 at 4:25 am
    10

    Am I mistaken, or do the pair look like Bill and CHELSEA Clinton with red hair?

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