Squee and Oh Dear Science

The first chapter of All Together Dead is up on Charlaine Harris’ website. There’s tons of Eric goodness. Check this out:

Despite the fact that the room was full of people waiting for his attention, Eric lay down his pen and stood to stretch his tall and magnificent body, perhaps for my benefit. As usual, Eric was in tight jeans and a Fangtasia T-shirt, black with the white stylized fangs that the bar used as its trademark. […]

Eric made the shirt look good, and I remembered all too well what was underneath it.

Fan girl squee! It smells like hope and vampire politics, children. What fun! I think Ms. Harris may be throwing a bone for us Eric-Sookie shippers. We gotta come up with a shipper name. Sooric? Erkie? Ickie?

Oh and speaking of totally addicting authors, I swiped this from Mrs. G’s blog. It made me laugh, scream in agony, claw out my own eyes, then laugh again. Apparently, according to LKH:

I seem to have started a sub-genre. Is it paranormal romance, gumshoe fantasy, urban fantasy romance? No one’s really come up with that perfect phrase. If we could just come up with something as cool sounding as cyberpunk, but alas, I don’t know what to call it either. My books read more like hard-boiled mysteries, or horror novels in tone of writing, but the romance and the magic is most definitely there, too. What do I write? What I want to read. Isn’t that what all writers write?

I’ll answer that for you, Ms. Hamilton. You write crap. You write badly written fanfic porn crossed with dogshit. The only thing “hard-boiled” about the Anita Blake series is the rotten egg smell that permeates from each sex scene. And the “mystery” part is why we keep buying your books (I’m the first to admit that I’m addicted to it). For fuck’s sake, get over yourself. May I suggest industrial-strength therapy or a visit to websites dedicated to bashing your work for a reality check?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 12th, 2006 at 8:38 am and is filed under Et Cetera, FanGrrrl Squee!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

14 Responses to “Squee and Oh Dear Science”

Jackie
Posted: Dec 12th, 2006 at 10:01 am

You write badly written fanfic porn crossed with dogshit.

Oh boy, Bam, I missed you! Welcome back, sweetie!

BTW, I’m finally reading Charlaine’s first Sookie book. It’s only taken me, oh, how many years? Oy…

FerfeLaBat
Posted: Dec 12th, 2006 at 10:14 am

I would not send my worst enemy to the LKH bashing sites. Those people are not right in the head. Snarking on your addiction issues and lamenting the characters morphing into paranormal porn stars is all well and good but the sites dedicated exclusively to LKH hate? Something is seriously wrong and scary there.

You made all A’s on your exams, right?

Jackie
Posted: Dec 12th, 2006 at 10:20 am

sites dedicated exclusively to LKH hate

No way. Seriously?

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I vaguely recall the alt.newsgroup “Barney/Dinosaur/Die/Die/Die” or something like that… People can be very…intense…online.

Jage
Posted: Dec 12th, 2006 at 11:40 am

LOL, poor Barney. At least he brought us the ‘clean up’ song which gets anyone four and under jumping around and pretending to clean up their mess while running around.

What did LKH give us? A kickass executioner who went from killing the beasts to having an open leg policy with every one of them. And her ego is ridiculous.

December Quinn
Posted: Dec 12th, 2006 at 11:43 am

In fairness (I can’t believe I’m saying this), the early Anita Blake books did read like hard-boiled mysteries. It’s just the last few years they’ve become a badly written Mary Sue pornfest filled with plot holes almost as cavernous as Anita’s “womanly space” must now be. Which means they must be the size of Micah’s only character trait. Which means I guess it is awfully big.

Jackie
Posted: Dec 12th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
6

Mary Sue pornfest

::giggle::

Taekduu
Posted: Dec 12th, 2006 at 3:04 pm

I have to agree with December Quinn. The first books did read more like a mystery because something had to be solved and Anita had to do real work. Remember that job she used ot have, that whole necromancer thing? She would talk about it and you would totally think, yeah, she has worked and the office politics are so true. But then, there was less work, and more melodrama, and now it’s all about sex. Anita can’t work because she is screwing so often, and rather badly.

As for Charlaine, yay for Sookie. Must go pre-order now.

I hope you did well on finals Bam!! I recall those days of horror, the o-chem, ochem lab, physics, and bio finals all in one week. “Shudders delicately” Just remember, this too shall pass!

Lucy S.
Posted: Dec 12th, 2006 at 6:14 pm

Yay for Eric and Sookie! I hope this does become a stable relationship. They have my vote.

I am making a wild guess here but I think that is what the author Harris wants, too -
I am thinking that although the prior 6 books do show Sookie as attractive to various males, that Harris is now leading us to settle down with Sookie and Eric, as the obvious well-matched couple.

Even though there were many males attracted to Sookie, she only really did have sex with two of them, Bill and Eric. (She has not had sex with Alcide, Calvin, Sam, nor Quinn.)

And now, as Bill’s character (or lack of) has unfolded
it is obvious Eric is the better choice for Sookie. Eric shows more concern for Sookie’s well-being.

It is Eric who gives her gravel for the driveway to fill the ruts, who gives her a new warm coat to replace the old washed out bloody one, who scolds Tara for using Sookie (and thereby endangering Sookie’s life) to end Tara’s bad vamp boyfriend situation, etc. Eric looks out for Sookie’s well-being.

And choosing Eric is not a cold mercenary choice either, such as simply ‘trading up’ on the vamp hierarchy, but rather choosing Eric seems to be so much more a decent choice for Sookie.

eggs
Posted: Dec 12th, 2006 at 10:48 pm

I’m so glad you posted on the LKH musings. I read that entry about five times, trying to work out if she was actually claiming to have invented the genre of paranormal romance, or if she was just saying she didn’t really fit into that category. In the end, I decided she was claiming to have invented it. I’d like to see her go a few rounds on Celebrity Death Match with Anne Rice.

rhian
Posted: Dec 13th, 2006 at 4:12 am

“I’d like to see her go a few rounds on Celebrity Death Match
with Anne Rice.”

heeheeeheee - i’d pay to see that.
Or maybe someone should write a short story that has the two character sets in a rumble fighting for the “honor” (cough - cough) of their respective authors. I can see Lestat in a catfight with Anita, can’t you? thanks for the snicker with my morning coffee.

Charlene
Posted: Dec 13th, 2006 at 4:14 am
11

I haven’t read a fanfic in eight years that was as bad as the last LKH book I read.

Annie Dean
Posted: Dec 13th, 2006 at 6:30 am

Agreed. I need a link to Mrs G on my blog. I love her reviews.

As for LKH, remember how puffed up Anne Rice got about her writing? I’m thinking the other vampire lady has started to believe her own press. I can see her in the bathroom, calling to her husband, “No, really, come check this out. It does smell like roses!”