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What a Pretty, Pretty Cowboy

Not a lot of male cover models make me go, “Ooh… I’d like to take a bite out of him”. But ohh… look at this man… so very, very pretty. Do you think the other cowboys make fun of him and say shit like, “Well, hello, Miss Pretty Priss. We brung you some flowers today.” Dude looks like a Chippendale stripper or something. I bet when he’s on stage, he wears the chaps without the jeans. Ha ha. He’s so hairless and smooth, like a prepubescent boy. I bet he smells like Ivory soap and baby powder. Don’t you love his thousand-yard stare like he’s actually capable of profound thought? [Look at me, being all prejudiced against pretty people!] But wait… is that a pencil thin mustache above his upper lip? Oh, that’s so gross. That just ruins everything, damn it! Stupid cowboy. I bet when they’re out herding cows or whatever, this cowboy sleeps in his own tent and padlocks it shut just in case the other cowboys get other ideas when it gets cold in the nighttime. Oh, who am I kidding? This dude has never seen a real cow in his entire life. Maybe the title is saying “Once he was a cowboy… for like… five minutes, then he went to LA and became an Abercrombie and Fitch model”. Good times.

You may thank the lovely Amber for this cover.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 17th, 2007 at 10:22 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

12 Responses to “What a Pretty, Pretty Cowboy”

  1. Isabella Snow
    Posted: Jan 17th, 2007 at 9:10 am
    1

    Dunno, shirt reminds me of Urban Cowboy! Just needs a few rhinestones!

    I’d not kick that man out of my bed, though.

    ;)

  2. rhian
    Posted: Jan 17th, 2007 at 9:31 am
    2

    there’s something about chaps… i think it’s that whole “framing” aspect.
    and i bet that’s a chocolate milk mustache…

  3. Robyn
    Posted: Jan 17th, 2007 at 9:34 am
    3

    Dude doesn’t even have hair on his arms, but they let him try to pencil in some upper lip stubble? Gross.

  4. December Quinn
    Posted: Jan 17th, 2007 at 9:41 am
    4

    I actually think he’s kind of hot. (ducks).

    He reminds me of those burnout guys in high school who drank Natural Light and wore muscle t-shirts, and when they dressed up they all wore their shirts unbuttoned and pushed their jacket sleeves up past the elbows. Like, um, Hubie Pyatt in The Legend of Billie Jean, or the guy who took Stacey’s virginity in Fast Times. (I’ve totally got one face in my head and I cannot for the life of me remember it.)

    They were the guys I had crushes on when I was in 7th grade, so this sort of clean-cut sleaze still rings a little bell.

  5. Helen M
    Posted: Jan 17th, 2007 at 11:17 am
    5

    I liked this cover at first, but then I realized who the guy reminded me of - David Beckham. Now all I can hear is his stupid whiny voice when I look at the cover. Damnit!

  6. bam
    Posted: Jan 17th, 2007 at 11:31 am
    6

    Helen, I think he looks more like Reichen Lehmkuhl, former Amazing Race contestant, boyfriend to Lance Bass of N’Sync, and reality show famewhore.

    And now I’m going to kill myself for knowing all of that.

  7. Helen M
    Posted: Jan 17th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
    7

    Bam, I see it, but Beckham’s annoying voice is will not leave me alone. (Maybe because I have no idea what Reichen sounds like…though I am sure I watched at least some of that season of Amazing Race…)

    And I have no idea why, but I found this bit of the wiki entry absurdly funny: “Lehmkuhl was working simultaneously as a Physics teacher … flight instructor and model”.

  8. Teddy Pig
    Posted: Jan 17th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
    8

    Squeal like a pig son…. I SAID SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL LIKE A PIG!

  9. BernardL
    Posted: Jan 17th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
    9

    “I bet he smells like Ivory soap and baby powder.”

    LOL! It does look to me like he’s posing for a Brokeback Mountain moment. :)

  10. Laura
    Posted: Jan 17th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
    10

    I’d drink a Natty Light with him. What the hell, my saddle needs a little polishing.

  11. Lyn
    Posted: Jan 17th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
    11

    All that crap about David Beckham going to the US on a Soccer Contract .. ha ha .. look, he’s modeling for Harlequin! Ha ha ..

  12. Kristie(J)
    Posted: Jan 18th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
    12

    ““Well, hello, Miss Pretty Priss. We brung you some flowers today.”

    I know this isn’t original but you really do crack me up something good!!!

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