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Ten Things I Hate About You

Sybil is making me do this. I’m supposed to list 10 things that are weird about me… how would I know they’re weird? I’m not that self-aware. What if what I think is weird in others, I don’t necessarily think of as weird in myself? Wrap your mind around that, Sybil! Anyway, most of my weirdness involve my reading nitpicks, but here they are:

1. I read the back of the book first. Each and every time. I can’t stand surprises. If the hero dies in the end or the hero and the heroine break up or the hero and the heroine both die, are reincarnated, and have to find each other later, I won’t read it. I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m sure there are a lot of great books out there I’ve missed out on because I read their endings first and refused to read the rest, but… I can’t get into a book only to have one of the main characters die or break up. I… won’t allow it to break my heart.

1A. If either of the romantic leads cheat on the other, I set down the book right then and there and never pick it up again. Sometimes, I make exceptions. Like if the heroine got sucked into another dimension and she slept with the mirror image of her husband because by doing so, she will save the world. But honestly, how often does that happen? Oh, and I do the same thing if the hero and the heroine are separated for more than twenty pages.

2. I tend to discriminate against heroines with boy names. If your heroine is named: Alex, Sam, Bobbie, Andie, James, Max, or Charlie, I read the book HATING your character. It will be up to you as the author to change my mind.

3. I love a good narrative voice. However, if the author’s own voice starts interrupting the natural flow of the narration and she starts editorializing or getting all preachy, I set the book down and never pick it up again.

4. It doesn’t matter how you describe your hero. It doesn’t matter what he looks like. He could be 6′6, 250 lbs, green-skinned, furry, horned, hooved, black, brown, white, yellow, blond, red-haired… in my head, he can only look like my crush of the moment. And that just happens to be Justin Hartley.

5. Even if I don’t have to use the toilet, I often lock myself in the bathroom and sit on the toilet for hours at a time, just reading. Tim and I live by the beach and pretty much anywhere is a perfect reading spot, but I love the bathroom. It’s my favorite room in the house.

6. The first thing I do after buying a new article of clothing is snip off the tag and the label. Then I wash it (the article of clothing, I mean). Always.

7. Before I can sit down to write, I have to have everything set up and organized the way I want. That means, I gotta have my jar of chocolate-covered almonds and cashews, three bottles of Aquafina water, index cards for my notes, a pen with blue ink, and my iPod queued up.

8. I have freakishly awesome memory when it comes to TV, movie, and celebrity trivia. I will watch anything on VH-1 ( I Love the 70s 80s 90s, Awesomely Bad Music Videos, Celebrity Breakups, Best Week Ever). My extensive knowledge of Saved by The Bell trivia may astound… and arouse you.

9. Tell me a title of an episode of the X-Files and I’ll tell you what it’s about. Describe to me an episode and I’ll tell you the title. I’ve got it all memorized, even Season 9 (fans like to pretend this season never happened). I’m a freak like that.

10. I will watch anything Joss Whedon directs, writes, or produces. Even if it sucks. I will follow him anywhere. If only because he gave me Captain Mal Reynolds.

Now you know me a little bit more than you used to. You may thank Sybil.

And I guess I’m supposed to pass this on. Well, I won’t do that. This dies with me. It ends now. I would like the following people to suffer this meme: Annie Dean (she’s done), Shuzluva, Mrs. Giggles, Elaine Corvidae, and Skyla Dawn Cameron.

ETA: Here is Skyla’s response.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 16th, 2007 at 9:08 am and is filed under Et Cetera. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

28 Responses to “Ten Things I Hate About You”

  1. Ann(ie)
    Posted: Feb 17th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
    1

    Mwahahaha, I did this on Friday. Lainey Bancroft tagged me. And lemme just say, I’m way weirder than you. I’m, like, they did a TV special on me, kinda weird.

  2. Darraghahahahah
    Posted: Feb 17th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
    2

    I think I have you both beat, but no-one’s asked me to share yet. Maybe it’s better you don’t.

  3. web
    Posted: Feb 17th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
    3

    I read ahead too, for the same reasons. When I read Mary Jo Putneys One Perfect Rose, even though it was a Romance Novel ™ and absolutely GUARENTEED to have a Happy Ending, I still had to read the end and make sure it would all be okay. Fuck suspense.

  4. dl
    Posted: Feb 17th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
    4

    I’m not so strange after all…I also do #6. Snip the labels off jean butts, and all underwear. I have no idea what my bra size is, no tags…they are scratchy and look stupid when they show. Sorting panties in the laundry? Daughters have tags, mine don’t (Ok, so mine are bigger).

    Totally with you on 1, 2, & 3 also.

    Thanks for sharing, I feel kinda normal now.

  5. Elaine Corvidae
    Posted: Feb 17th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
    5

    Only ten things that are weird about me. Wow, that’s barely scratching the surface.

    I posted the first ten things I could think of, in no particular order, here:
    http://elainecorvidae.livejournal.com/

  6. LorelieLong
    Posted: Feb 17th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
    6

    Funny how this thing grows. When I first did it, about a year and a half ago, it was four weird things. . .

  7. Wylie
    Posted: Feb 17th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
    7

    Ha! I totally get the bathroom reading. I get my best work done in the tub :)

    But I cannot, will not, refuse to, read the last page of a book first. That’s like opening Christmas gifts early!! Cheater!!!
    So, sometimes in your reviews when you refer to a particular twist and say “I totally saw it coming…” — Of course you did, cause YOU DID ;) LOL

  8. bam
    Posted: Feb 17th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
    8

    Shut up, Wylie. :P

    The one book I didn’t do that for was Lover Revealed. I really, really wanted to be surprised.

    … I wasn’t. :(

    *listening to “Hello” by Lionel Ritchie for no damn reason*

  9. Richelle Mead
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 2:18 am
    9

    Memento Mori.

  10. Jackie
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 4:53 am
    10

    TV, movie, and celebrity trivia, eh?

    Don’t suppose that extends to cartoons from the 1970s and 1980s?

    If it does…

    Name the show in which five lion-robots all formed one badass warrior robot.

    And then name the six fighter/warriors who “drove” those robots.

  11. Kat
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 5:40 am
    11

    I used to read the back of books all the time, too (including category romances - yes, I’ve actually read ones with terrible endings). Now I just trawl through blogs for spoilers…or ask my friend to tell me if the ending is sad or if infidelity is involved.

    Funnily enough, I never have a fully realised mental image of the hero (or the heroine) - he’s just kind of well built, brown(ish) and dark-haired. Very rarely do I get a picture, and very rarely will it match the book. This is a problem when I read about the BDB and their weird hair/facial scars/missing legs/cop who’s not supposed to look like a paunchy TJ Hooker.

    Lion robots? Oooh, I had a crush on the lead pilot and wanted to name my baby brother after him. *lol*

  12. bam
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 8:16 am
    12

    Name the show in which five lion-robots all formed one badass warrior robot.

    VOLTRON: DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE
    Keith- black lion
    Princess Allura - blue lion (potential love interest to Keith)
    Lance - Red lion
    Hunk - yellow lion (fat guy)
    Pidge - Green lion (youngest one with glasses)
    Sven - he doesn’t really pilot; he used to be blue lion until he got hurt; now he just helps them out from time to time…

    BOO-YAH!

  13. Richelle Mead
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 11:59 am
    13

    Oh, pfft. That was so easy, Jackie.

    What’s the name of Allura’s identical cousin?

  14. bam
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
    14

    Princess Romelle. Shut yer faces!

  15. Richelle Mead
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
    15

    I bow…

  16. bam
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
    16

    For the record, Sven was always my favorite. He was so tortured, always brooding… and you’re not quite sure whose side he was on.

    OMG, Sven is an Anne Stuart hero!

  17. AngelaDionne
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
    17

    I am totally with you on #10….. I still live with the hope that Firefly will come back from some long assed hiatus and brighten my TiVo again.

  18. cassie
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
    18

    10. I will watch anything Joss Whedon directs, writes, or produces. Even if it sucks. I will follow him anywhere. If only because he gave me Captain Mal Reynolds.

    Have you heard about Drive, a not-yet-aired TV show produced by the other guy who also gave us Captain Tightpants? I don’t know anything about it except that it has Tim Minear (creator), Nathan Fillion (one of the leads) and Amy Acker (recurring character). And there’s something about a car chase. I think it premieres in March or April; maybe fourth time’ll be the charm for Tim and FOX? I think I may have to watch it just because Alex Tully sounds very much like Malcolm Reynolds, but I fear cancellation.

    (Great review on Lover Revealed, by the way. Pretty much sums up how I feel about the other books in the series, and I’ll be reading LR, too, if only for the hoyay.)

  19. Eva Gale
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
    19

    Your bathroom weirdness has to stop. Either that or you have to flag your books and not lend. Huh. I lent out Emma Holly’s Menage and it hasn’t come back. I think they can keep it…

  20. Nikki
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
    20

    I have a couple of questions, well actually 3 questions.
    First, does your first response mean you haven’t read Gone with the Wind?
    Does your seventh response mean you are weird because you used the word “queued”, or is that word often associated with an IPod and I don’t know that so that makes me weird instead of you? That’s a great word for Scrabble, by the way, but you have to have the 2 U’s.
    Please tell me which episode of the X Files was about the people who were eating the people being ground up in the factory and so they were really old but didn’t look it. That was an early episode, maybe the 1st or 2nd year, and remember my daughter (was about 10) and I sat together scared shitless.

  21. Helen M
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
    21

    Ooh, I want to know the answer to Nicki’s first question too!

    Sometimes, I skim ahead, but when I do, no matter how good the book is, and how much I intend to keep it forever and ever and ever, it always falls to the bottom of my (imaginary) priority list. Even if I really do want to know how characters A and B get from X to Y.

    I agree to some extent with 2 and 3, and laugh at 5 and 10, because I do them too.

  22. bam
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
    22
    Author Comment

    First, does your first response mean you haven’t read Gone with the Wind?

    Saw the movie, but my 7th grade teacher gave me the book. I skimmed ahead. Scarlet doesn’t end up with Rhett. OOOH, SPOILER!! Threw the book over my shoulder.

    Please tell me which episode of the X Files was about the people who were eating the people being ground up in the factory and so they were really old but didn’t look it. That was an early episode, maybe the 1st or 2nd year, and remember my daughter (was about 10) and I sat together scared shitless.

    That would be Our Town. Season 2, episode 24. The motto of the chicken factory was “good people, good food,” which implied they were eating each other.

  23. bam
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
    23
    Author Comment

    Does your seventh response mean you are weird because you used the word “queued”

    I try to use as many words as I can with multiple u’s in it.

  24. Elaine Corvidae
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
    24

    I feel like I should challenge you to read Prince of Ash, since it has a heroine named Alex.

    But what the hell. I have a hero named Rat. RAT! Why? Because I just gotta be me.

  25. Elaine Corvidae
    Posted: Feb 18th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
    25

    I also have a non-scheming, very nice, eunuch in my wip (referring to Ann’s review on the main page). So there! ;-P

  26. Jackie
    Posted: Feb 19th, 2007 at 8:26 am
    26

    For the record, Sven was always my favorite. He was so tortured, always brooding… and you’re not quite sure whose side he was on.

    I hear you. Me, I always loved Jason from BATTLE OF THE PLANETS. Gimme the brooding bad boys any day…

    Kudos, Bam. (You too, Richelle. Why am I not surprised you knew that?)

  27. Skyla
    Posted: Feb 19th, 2007 at 11:38 am
    27

    I would have put #10 on my list, but I wasn’t aware that was weird…? I thought everyone was like that, lol.

    Also, coming close to being on my list but not quite making it is that I still watch Saved by the Bell now and then. And while I wouldn’t boast that my knowledge of SbtB trivia would astound or arouse, it’s marginally better than the average person’s, lol.

  28. Nikki
    Posted: Feb 20th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
    28

    That thing with using as many u’s as possible makes you a bit
    uh, unusual, if you get my drift.

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