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Late To the Party

… okay, not late. More like, returning to the party after everyone’s gone home. I will tell you something, kiddies… Leo Dicaprio was the first guy who ever made my girly parts tingle. No, I’m not talking about the Jack Dawson bullshit that made him a household name (admit it, whores… how many times did you see that movie?). I was crushing on this guy back when he was Luke Brower, the charming homeless boy that Mike Seaver brings home in Growing Pains. Which reminds me… hey, Bonnie Dee, how awesome would it have been if Carol Seaver (or Mike) had been tagging Luke, eh? That would have been some bizarre Picket Fences bullshit, man. Heck, that would have made spectacular Must-See-TV (oh, wait, that’s NBC). I could have been better guided as an adolescent if I had a little more Growing Pains in my memory.

Anyway, when I heard Leo was going to reprise Tony Leung’s kickass role in the American remake of the film, Infernal Affairs, I was pretty peeved. Infernal Affairs is one of my favorite films and Americans tend to… make shitty-ass really fucking bad substandard remakes. But I told myself it was being directed by Scorsese and Matt Damon was going to be in it, so I decided to watch it anyway. Via Netflix. ‘Cause Smallville was a rerun. I was totally wow’d by Leo’s performance, dude. Oh, and his gritty, pill-popping, dirty-boy hotness. And his on-and-off Southie accent. He took that undercover-cop-breaking-down-under- pressure gig and frickin’ nailed it to the wall, yo. He tapped that ass, spooged all over it, and knocked that bitch up. Why did he get nominated for the Blood Diamond thing instead of this one? Forest Whitaker is so going to kick his ass on Sunday night. Leo’d look better in a tux… but Whitaker’s taking that golden man home, you can bet on it.

Even if he loses on Oscar night—-and he will—-I’d let him tap it, anyway. I bet he’s all intense about it. You know those method-actor types.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 22nd, 2007 at 11:46 pm and is filed under Studmuffins, Et Cetera. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

10 Responses to “Late To the Party”

  1. Kat
    Posted: Feb 23rd, 2007 at 3:31 am
    1

    OK, I’m officially old. Because Mike Seaver? I had a centrefold of Kirk Cameron (fully clothed, mind - it was from a teenybopper mag) blu-tacked on the inside of my cabinet door. He eyes would follow me whenever I changed my clothes, the perv. ;-)

  2. shuzluva
    Posted: Feb 23rd, 2007 at 6:04 am
    2

    Um…I’ve never seen Titanic. EVER. Nor do I ever plan to. However, I did love him in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?. DiCaprio and Depp are a fantastic combination.

  3. kate r
    Posted: Feb 23rd, 2007 at 7:33 am
    3

    The hair bugs me or maybe the throbbing vein in the forehead.

  4. maria
    Posted: Feb 23rd, 2007 at 11:49 am
    4

    Didn’t you love him in the Aviator?? i thought he was fucking amazing…and i was soured on him after movies like Titanic and The Beach (don’t get me started on that one, it’s on of my dumbass husband’s favorite moves…yech) anyways. he’s not giving me panty-soup, but he’s a damn fine actor!

  5. Ann(ie)
    Posted: Feb 23rd, 2007 at 3:56 pm
    5

    He rocked in both The Departed and Blood Diamond. I’m a fan again. He lost me after Gilbert Grape.

  6. Rosie
    Posted: Feb 24th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
    6

    Me too…why the nomination for Blood Diamond rather than The Departed? And yeah, I think Forest is taking home the Oscar.

  7. Samantha
    Posted: Feb 25th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
    7

    The Departed is a remake of Infernal Affairs? I had no idea.

  8. Charlene
    Posted: Feb 25th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
    8

    Old? I’m too old to remember Leo as a teen pinup.

    Sean Cassidy FOREVER!!

  9. Joanne
    Posted: Feb 26th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
    9

    By virtue of my generation of birth, I am one of the people who got sucked into Leomania during “Titanic”… but I assure you that had I been born even five years earlier I would have totally been all over him as Luke, or even Romeo.

    But nooooooooooooo, I had to be born in 1987 and thus I hit puberty just as “Titanic” was released. (Saw it like three or four times… it was just too damn long to watch over and over.) Hence, my association with Leo through that. Which is a shame, because he is hot, and a good actor… that movie became a cliche soon after it came out.

    I wish my crush on him was based on something cooler.

  10. Jennybrat
    Posted: Mar 4th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
    10

    Haven’t watched the remake but I love Infernal Affairs.

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