[fake blurb alert]

Forty-five year old Mara Jensen has a problem: she can’t seem to keep a man longer than a night. She suspects it’s because she’s a Vulcan from the planet… well, Vulcan and her ears and hair part tend to freak people out. No matter what she’s tried to do with her hair, it has the tendency to sweep over to the side and reveal her scalp. She also used to be a hermaphrodite, but her parents had that taken care of when she was a baby, and sure, she has to take hormone injections for the rest of her life and—-[ahem] But that’s not Mara’s biggest problem. Once, while stranded in a space station with a bunch of cosmonauts and no food, Mara and crew had to draw straws to see who would be eaten first. Needless to say, Mara drew the longest stick. [hee, stick!] Once she’s back among civilization, Mara has tried to suppress her cannibalistic impulses, but she just can’t help herself. Especially when former Navy SEAL Treat Harris moves next door. Not only is he handsome and young, he is also very muscular… and Mara can’t resist but picturing him naked and slathered with A1 Steak Sauce.

Treat Harris was the best Navy SEAL evah. That is, until he was discharged from his unit because of a late-onset narcolepsy. During a routine training drill, Treat lost his best friend because he got a little too excited and promptly fell asleep, thus accidentally letting go of his best friend’s hand and dropping him into a meat grinder (WTF). Racked by guilt and having to deal with his illness, Treat has decided to live the life of a monk by moving into the most boring suburb in America and sit in front of the TV all day waiting for his disability checks. That is, until he meets Mara Jensen, his enigmatic neighbor… who seems to look at him like a slavering wolf and he’s a bloody steak. Zzzzzz….

[Ed. note: Yeah, I don’t know where I was going with that. That came off of the top of my head and the top of my head is not funny.]

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