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And Passion Will Prevail…

… Even with a broken neck. Is it me or… does Cassie seem to be suffering from 1) a severe curvature of the spine or 2) just really bad posture? I had to really, really stare at this cover because I couldn’t tell at first if Cassie has her back to us and is looking over her shoulder (in that case, pssst… Cassie, I think your neck is broken) or if her front is as flat as her back. Ba-zing! Wait, wait… if I squint really hard, I can detect some boobage there. A little saggy, though. Dear old Cassie could use a bra, methinks, pull those babies up a little. She looks so frail, our Cassie, like she’d snap if she moved too much. Good thing boyfriend over there appears to be the kind of guy who prefers his women to stay very, very still while he’s making love to them. Maybe he even makes them take a very, very cold shower first. You know what I mean, homegirls? I mean, dude is… OH MY GOD! What the hell is going on with his fingers? Hell, what the hell is wrong with his hands? Not only are his fingers stubby-looking and freakishly short, his palm is also… oddly wide, but short. I don’t care how cute a guy is… if he’s got fugly hands, he ain’t getting his mitts on my hot bod. And his arm is also distractingly short. Maybe he’s a tall guy, but has little people limbs. Tragic! Ugh, I can’t look at his hands anymore. They make me nauseous. And what’s with the morbid-ass title? Is he tired of Cassie saying goodbye to him, so he’s going to end it once and for all and throw her off the cliff? “I’ve had it with you saying goodbye to me, Cassie! You will say goodbye… for the last time!” Dear God, I need a drink. It’s too early for this shit.

Thanks a lot, Amber!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 7th, 2007 at 9:29 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

11 Responses to “And Passion Will Prevail…”

  1. Teddy Pig
    Posted: Mar 7th, 2007 at 9:45 am
    1

    Scared by a Got Milk? poster as a young child Cassie lived a life of constant pain and torment from the inevitable osteoporosis that racked her brittle body.

    The only time she found comfort was in the arms of hunky Aiden MacCallister.

    She will never tell him they’re passionate love making puts her constantly at risk of a broken neck and it was only a matter of time.

    The day would come when his pulsing man straw would finally break the floozy camels back. Every kiss might be a kiss of death.

  2. Teddy Pig
    Posted: Mar 7th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
    2

    Where did everybody go? Did I say something wrong….

    Oh damn…

  3. Teddy Pig
    Posted: Mar 7th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
    3

    Bad pig bad bad bad pig nasty bad evil vicious pig!

  4. bam
    Posted: Mar 7th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
    4

    *sniff* it’s not you, Teddy. It’s me. I think… it’s because this post is not very funny. :(

  5. Becs
    Posted: Mar 7th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
    5

    We’re too busy staring at the cover to see if we’ll actually witness Cassie keeling over dead. No one can look like that and live much longer, can they? Can’t look away to respond or we might miss it!

  6. Ann(ie)
    Posted: Mar 7th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
    6

    I’m here, get the party started. I’m making quickie blog rounds while the rice cooks for dinner.

    Cassie scares me. And wtf is up with that title? Is there some zany mixup where she thinks she’s dying and then finds out, “Ooops, those weren’t your records! Oh what’s that, you already talked some guy into marrying you as a last request? LOL, my bad! You get a free pap smear on your next visit.”

  7. Sruare
    Posted: Mar 7th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
    7

    It’s perfectly obvious. Freaky-hand guy was totally in love with his woman, just one thing was missing… so he snapped her neck and proceeded to give her quickly cooling body a last *AHEM* goodbuy.
    That or he just brought her back as a zombie.
    What’s a necrophiliac to do?

  8. Eilonwy
    Posted: Mar 8th, 2007 at 6:18 am
    8

    What scared *me* about this cover was that at first glance I read the title as “Lassie’s Last Goodbye,” which is admittedly more alliterative, but given that it’s a romance novel, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be reading about bestiality, as lovely a dog as Lassie was.

  9. Flo
    Posted: Mar 8th, 2007 at 9:09 am
    9

    It’s CLEARLY Liza Minelli in a blond wig before the boob job. This is one of her rabidly gay fans singing that he’ll never leave her alone at the carney (where she found him) again. That they will go and get make-overs and have a glorious spa day TOGETHER.

  10. Helen M
    Posted: Mar 14th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
    10

    I know Annie was joking, but I’ve read that story! In an anthology, I think.

  11. Charlene
    Posted: Mar 15th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
    11

    Why is Kes from Star Trek: Voyager going HONK HONK to Willem Dafoe’s mantitty?

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