Comments on: The Morning After by Dorie Graham http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/ Guess what I'm reading? Wed, 16 May 2012 07:49:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Dionne Galace » Blog Archive » The Magic Va-Jay-Jay Variety Hour by Dorie Graham http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-9270 Dionne Galace » Blog Archive » The Magic Va-Jay-Jay Variety Hour by Dorie Graham Tue, 10 Apr 2007 14:14:14 +0000 http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-9270 [...] The magic cooch is a favorite plot contrivance in a romance novel. It doesn’t even have to be a paranormal romance. The hero could be the coldest, most arrogant sociopathic jerkweed who ever lived (oh, man… I just got a little turned on right now) and all it would take to reform him would be one passion-filled night with the heroine. The hero, who’s probably had sex with the most beautiful, most accomplished women in the world, is felled by a wide-eyed innocent girl (preferably a virgin) and thus, he is healed. Why is this plot so popular? Is it because no matter how smart or how reasonable we women are, deep inside we all harbor fantasies of being the ONE woman in the world to have the power to rehabilitate the baddest boy around? That we would succeed where all other women had failed? I recently reviewed a Harlequin Blaze by this very same author whose heroine possessed a magic vagina… that healed! And she had sisters. Remember how I said one sister has a vagina that bends men to her will and makes slavering puppies out of them? And how the youngest sister has one that makes men violently ill? Worst. Power. Ever. Sure, it’s a funny premise… three witchy sisters whose powers come from their poon. It’s good for a laugh, but could you actually get through one book without giving yourself brain damage from repeatedly slapping yourself on the forehead? Well, girls, I read them. All 3 of them. And here are the next two sisters in the series. Whoo-hoo! So Many Men… tells the story of Tess McClellan, the eldest sister and seemingly the most adjusted one of the trio. When Nikki, the sister from the previous book The Morning After told her the deep, dark McClellan secret that all of the women in their family possess a magic vagina that “heals” people, Tess was the one who just shrugged and said, “Yeah, that makes sense.” Tess, for the lack of a better word, is… well, a hussy. The brazen kind with no shame whatsoever. She sleeps with armies of men and makes them… better. Unlike the men of her sister Nikki, however, Tess’ men stick around. Even when they are no longer in love with her, the men hang out at her house, fixing things for her, shopping for her, cooking for her… getting along with each other. It’s like a cult of men who used to sleep with Tess. Naturally, Tess has no female friends (though I sure hope she’s good friends with her local Planned Parenthood). Because of this, Tess has been feeling… discontented lately. Out of desperation, she joins a local women’s group and finds out why she’s not friends with any of them: they’re catty, vicious, vindictive bitches. Still, Tess puts a smile on her face and tells herself she’s going to hang on because damn it, she’s going to make friends even if it kills her. [...] [...] The magic cooch is a favorite plot contrivance in a romance novel. It doesn’t even have to be a paranormal romance. The hero could be the coldest, most arrogant sociopathic jerkweed who ever lived (oh, man… I just got a little turned on right now) and all it would take to reform him would be one passion-filled night with the heroine. The hero, who’s probably had sex with the most beautiful, most accomplished women in the world, is felled by a wide-eyed innocent girl (preferably a virgin) and thus, he is healed. Why is this plot so popular? Is it because no matter how smart or how reasonable we women are, deep inside we all harbor fantasies of being the ONE woman in the world to have the power to rehabilitate the baddest boy around? That we would succeed where all other women had failed? I recently reviewed a Harlequin Blaze by this very same author whose heroine possessed a magic vagina… that healed! And she had sisters. Remember how I said one sister has a vagina that bends men to her will and makes slavering puppies out of them? And how the youngest sister has one that makes men violently ill? Worst. Power. Ever. Sure, it’s a funny premise… three witchy sisters whose powers come from their poon. It’s good for a laugh, but could you actually get through one book without giving yourself brain damage from repeatedly slapping yourself on the forehead? Well, girls, I read them. All 3 of them. And here are the next two sisters in the series. Whoo-hoo! So Many Men… tells the story of Tess McClellan, the eldest sister and seemingly the most adjusted one of the trio. When Nikki, the sister from the previous book The Morning After told her the deep, dark McClellan secret that all of the women in their family possess a magic vagina that “heals” people, Tess was the one who just shrugged and said, “Yeah, that makes sense.” Tess, for the lack of a better word, is… well, a hussy. The brazen kind with no shame whatsoever. She sleeps with armies of men and makes them… better. Unlike the men of her sister Nikki, however, Tess’ men stick around. Even when they are no longer in love with her, the men hang out at her house, fixing things for her, shopping for her, cooking for her… getting along with each other. It’s like a cult of men who used to sleep with Tess. Naturally, Tess has no female friends (though I sure hope she’s good friends with her local Planned Parenthood). Because of this, Tess has been feeling… discontented lately. Out of desperation, she joins a local women’s group and finds out why she’s not friends with any of them: they’re catty, vicious, vindictive bitches. Still, Tess puts a smile on her face and tells herself she’s going to hang on because damn it, she’s going to make friends even if it kills her. [...]

]]> By: Devon http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8661 Devon Mon, 19 Mar 2007 02:39:11 +0000 http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8661 This creeps me out. Really. I've read some creepy shit, but this creeps me out. But please review the one with the coochie that makes men sick, because I'm a little curious. The possibilities are whirling in my brain. Although it would be better if it were a cooter of death. This creeps me out. Really. I’ve read some creepy shit, but this creeps me out.

But please review the one with the coochie that makes men sick, because I’m a little curious. The possibilities are whirling in my brain. Although it would be better if it were a cooter of death.

]]> By: Richelle Mead http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8638 Richelle Mead Sun, 18 Mar 2007 04:08:56 +0000 http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8638 Isn't that the <em>Floating Circle of Sexual Healing Death</em> I see? Isn’t that the Floating Circle of Sexual Healing Death I see?

]]> By: QB http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8320 QB Fri, 16 Mar 2007 22:56:44 +0000 http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8320 Oh.My.Gawd. Seriously? An entire series about magic hoohaws? I can't wait to throw this back at anyone that snarks a certain best-selling author by saying her heroine has a coochie of doom. Oh.My.Gawd.

Seriously? An entire series about magic hoohaws?

I can’t wait to throw this back at anyone that snarks a certain best-selling author by saying her heroine has a coochie of doom.

]]> By: Darlene Marshall http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8317 Darlene Marshall Fri, 16 Mar 2007 13:07:53 +0000 http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8317 I don't think I want to read the book, but I loved reading your review. And the warning label is a classic. I don’t think I want to read the book, but I loved reading your review. And the warning label is a classic.

]]> By: sallahdog http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8310 sallahdog Thu, 15 Mar 2007 21:00:32 +0000 http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8310 At first, I thought this was one of Bams made up cover snark stories... and then I found it was REAL!... I am so embarrassed.. At first, I thought this was one of Bams made up cover snark stories… and then I found it was REAL!… I am so embarrassed..

]]> By: dl http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8309 dl Thu, 15 Mar 2007 20:14:11 +0000 http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8309 Really? Sounds like an example of why I avoid Harlequin. Really? Sounds like an example of why I avoid Harlequin.

]]> By: shuzluva http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8302 shuzluva Thu, 15 Mar 2007 17:49:42 +0000 http://dionnegalace.com/wordpress/2007/03/15/the-morning-after-by-dorie-graham/#comment-8302 Ohh, ooh! I know what's wrong with Dylan! He's 14.5 years old and isn't allowed to date...or go out of the house...or play his music loud. I guess the sexual healing will work on him like <i>ZOLTAR</i> did for Tom Hanks... HILARIOUS, Bam! Man, I think I have to read this. And the others! Ohh, ooh! I know what’s wrong with Dylan! He’s 14.5 years old and isn’t allowed to date…or go out of the house…or play his music loud. I guess the sexual healing will work on him like ZOLTAR did for Tom Hanks…

HILARIOUS, Bam! Man, I think I have to read this. And the others!

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