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Hot Cover of the Week!

The Average Girl's Guide to Getting LaidFireworks!Here’s a really nice, really classy cover. It’s freaking sexy, yeah? There’s something about it that really, really pisses me off, though. That blond-haired bitch looks like Giselle Bundchen and I hate that dirty whore. It’s a hate that knows no reason nor logic. Don’t ask. I get all verr klempt and shit just talking about it… so let’s not. *takes a deep breath*

This cover is so pretty that I can’t even come up with a fake blurb for it… sad face. But I’m going to try. Let’s see… the girl looks like… a Saffron. Saffron Matthews. And the sweet, sweet chocolate daddy she’s holding… hmm…. Damon. Damon Howard. Boo-yah!

Saffron Matthews is a radio personality who is famous for her sexy voice, trademark wit, and sassy sexual advice as WKRP’s Dr. Ladyluuuurve. Though Saffron is incredibly beautiful, tall, slender, has an awesome body, and can belch the national anthem after downing a six-pack of beer, she has a bit of a problem. Unknown to her listeners, the sexy Dr. Ladyluuuurve is still… a VIRGIN! She is cursed with a disease called vagina dentata and she is afraid that no man will ever touch her. According to her doctor, a man would have a steel cock to be able to have sex with her.

Hunky Damon Howard can’t seem to get a woman. He is handsome, wealthy, intelligent… except he was in an industrial accident once involving a paper press and… he is no longer the man he used to be. With the help of some friends in the robotics and cybernetics industry, Damon is now the proud owner… of a robot cock. Only his friends couldn’t quite perfect the synthetic skin necessary to cover it, so his penis… has the look of steel. His wife, disgusted by his metallic appendage, had already divorced him and he can’t get a woman to sleep with him no matter what he offers her. That is, until he meets the beautiful Saffron Matthews. From the moment Damon meets Saffron, he realizes he will do anything to possess her. But will their magnetic, instantaneous attraction overcome Damon’s… HUGE problem? Or will Damon never find a woman who can… truly love him?

Kids, The Average Girl’s Guide to Getting Laid will be released by Loose-id on April 17. Check it out!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 20th, 2007 at 8:33 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

18 Responses to “Hot Cover of the Week!”

  1. Teddy Pig
    Posted: Mar 20th, 2007 at 10:48 am
    1

    Well maybe he is helping her with an under arm problem?

  2. Jane
    Posted: Mar 20th, 2007 at 11:24 am
    2

    This is a Kimani Press book. Seriously. Virgin therapist threatened to be outed by male with robot cock. Okay, maybe it didn’t include robot cock, but still.

  3. Ann(ie)
    Posted: Mar 20th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
    3

    Thanks for the pimpage. I’ll totally return the favor when Skin to Skin comes out.

    PS I adore this cover.

  4. Samantha
    Posted: Mar 20th, 2007 at 6:28 pm
    4

    My anthropology professor wrote a story about a woman with vagina dentata. Except it wasn’t a romance. Not at all.

  5. Shiloh Walker
    Posted: Mar 20th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
    5

    I don’t know if I want to read your blog before bedtime any more, Bam. You’re going to give me nightmares.

  6. Teddy Pig
    Posted: Mar 21st, 2007 at 4:44 am
    6

    One thing I do have a problem with these covers… they never show enough of the guy.

    I personally would rather see his cute butt even if she did scratch it to kingdom come during the first love scene.

  7. Teddy Pig
    Posted: Mar 21st, 2007 at 4:46 am
    7

    I say more butt less mantitty!

  8. shuzluva
    Posted: Mar 21st, 2007 at 5:55 am
    8

    Annie, you should be psyched. This cover is hot! However, I agree with Teddy. More great ass would be….well, great!

  9. Ann(ie)
    Posted: Mar 21st, 2007 at 7:04 am
    9

    I’ve found that the more anatomy they show, the cheesier the cover turns. It’s a really fine line. I mean, I could end up with a crotch-grabbing cowboy ffs. Do NOT anger the art gods.

  10. Bonnie Dee
    Posted: Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:33 am
    10

    It is a pretty cover, but I can’t help hoping the heroine’s deodorant is working because her armpit is pretty much in this guy’s face.

  11. bam
    Posted: Mar 21st, 2007 at 9:00 am
    11

    Well, Bonnie… the armpit is an erogenous zone.

  12. Ann(ie)
    Posted: Mar 21st, 2007 at 11:01 am
    12

    OMG, that reminds me of the thread on SB where they were talking about historical birth control methods and which ones have you seen used in novels. This one lady said that historically, the armpit was a favorite place to hump to prevent the baby-making. I have a hard time imagining why the guy would like that!!

  13. Lorelie
    Posted: Mar 21st, 2007 at 1:12 pm
    13

    Why the guy would like it? Easy - hold your arm down tight enough and long enough and it’s really just a tight, kinda damp hole. The real question is why would a chick like armpit humping?

  14. April
    Posted: Mar 21st, 2007 at 2:57 pm
    14

    Okay, now I’m all giggly. First, I read this article:
    http://www.healthrelatedinfos......-foot.html

    And now I read on this blog about men humping women’s armpits.

    H.E. likes kissing my feet AND my armpits, as well as other more interesting parts, so now I’m afraid I’ll start giggling at the wrong times and ruin the moment.

  15. Ann(ie)
    Posted: Mar 21st, 2007 at 5:37 pm
    15

    Dude. That link was WRONG. Nipples can grow anywhere and even lactate? That’s some Clive Barker shit right there.

  16. April
    Posted: Mar 21st, 2007 at 6:12 pm
    16

    Did you read the comments? They’re hilarious!

  17. Ann(ie)
    Posted: Mar 21st, 2007 at 6:22 pm
    17

    OMG. What the hell is FAP? Is it Fetish something? Good gawd.

  18. TeddyPig
    Posted: Mar 22nd, 2007 at 5:36 am
    18

    Well if I read Fark.com properly um… fapping is jerking off.

    Uhhh sorry.

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