Hey guys, wasn’t that little writing exercise fun? Admit it, it got your juices flowing, right? I received so many really great entries this month that I’ve decided to pick four finalists instead of three (yes, that’s what I did last month, so why I don’t I just pick four each time, huh? Well, if I mean to pick four, I’ll end up picking five… and so on and so forth). You guys know the song and dance… the entry that garners the most vote wins. Good luck, finalists!
Scott Baba
[Well, D, i feel kind of dirty after writing this, but kind of sexy too, so whatever. I’m eleven words over, and the ending is kind of abrupt even with those eleven words. Kind of a true story. Anyway:]
It was surprisingly squishy. I’d never done this before – neither of us had – at least not like this, with spit and parted lips and tongues that darted gently and tentatively through the breach, uncertain of their destination or their orders once they reached it. First contact was brief, all parties involved recoiling in surprise and yet intrigued, and in a moment they were back out, probing, touching, clumsily attempting to interact in the ways we had imagined but could not emulate. Now we found ourselves committed, tongues sliding across one another, pressed firmly together and slick with saliva. And I, lost in the moment, could only think: god this is squishy.
tumperkin
[What would it be like to kiss Sleeping Beauty? I’m a few words over the 100.]
She lay face-down in a grey, mouldering heap. A thick pelt of rat-grey dust had collected on her slumbering form. Cobwebs too: a lacy net of them around her. As he turned her over, spiders rushed out of her hair. Her face was grimed by dust but she was lovely. A lovely, living corpse. He rubbed at the muck on her face and with curious fingers, learned the shape of her mouth before pressing his lips chastely to hers. In the moment of contact, her body lurched alarmingly, her arms fastening around him, her mouth opening to suck at him, drawing the very life from him in a deathly kiss. After a few mobments, he ceased to struggle.
Cherry
[Cut from an old manuscript…]
His breath warmed her lips. For just a moment, he paused. He looked into her eyes, stripping her to the core, seeming to check himself with her wide-eyed expectancy.
Don’t you stop, oh, God, please don’t stop…The strong hand that stroked the hair from her forehead trembled… it trembled. And then his mouth was molding over hers, his lips coaxing hers open, his tongue delving gently inside. Hot shivers licked down her spine as she abandoned all timidity, exploring the hardness of his teeth with her tongue, then the damp heat of his mouth, the exotic spices of it.
[Not sexy, but anyway:]
Death lay in those lips, hung from their perfection as certainly as she breathed. If they pressed or brushed hers, even attempted to inhabit the same space – she would die. And yet, it was almost as if hers moved of their own volition, infinitesimal degrees, a pouting, a puckering towards extinction. She must have a secret death wish, unknown until his mouth curved. She moved forward, holding his incredulous eyes, until their breath mingled. “What are you doing?” he whispered, mesmerized and frightened simultaneously. She drew in one final breath and pressed her lips to his.
… so there you have it. Your vote decides which of these literary wizards will win this month’s contest and awarded a $30 gift certificate to Amazon or B&N. I will announce the winner on Wednesday morning. Happy voting!
Good luck, babies!
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April 3, 2007 at 5:49 am
Oh, man, these are all so good! How do I choose?
I’m voting for Tumperkin, because it’s the most complete story. But these are all so excellent.
(Samantha, it is sexy, btw, and very very romantic.)
April 3, 2007 at 5:59 am
My vote goes to Samantha. She’s wrong : there IS something sexy about it.
M.
April 3, 2007 at 6:08 am
Samantha! That was good.
April 3, 2007 at 6:12 am
Oh and I wanted to thank you for the contest I had fun writing for it.
April 3, 2007 at 6:25 am
Samantha, that is fantastically sexy. You’re getting my vote.
April 3, 2007 at 6:50 am
count me as another samantha vote.
April 3, 2007 at 7:12 am
I’m voting for Samantha too. Wow.
I’d read the rest of the book, just based on the style of that kiss.
April 3, 2007 at 7:19 am
One for tumperkin! I love fairy tales.
April 3, 2007 at 8:18 am
Wow, this is difficult, but im gonna have to go for Tumperkin.
Great take on a classic!
April 3, 2007 at 8:32 am
Tumperkin! ‘cuz it stands out.
April 3, 2007 at 8:33 am
I vote for tumperkin. That was really beautiful!
April 3, 2007 at 9:39 am
Yay, I’m a finalist!
I missed the whole voting thing last time, so finally here’s my chance to vote for:
….
Cherry!
That was hot… and strangely tasty.
April 3, 2007 at 10:21 am
Samantha… Only one that compelled me to read it over, and over. Though I did hesitate over Cherry’s. I’d want both of their books. Tumperkin’s frightened me too much! And, Scott Baba, yours was both silly and cute.
April 3, 2007 at 10:36 am
Scott’s. Just because I like the use of the word squishy.
April 3, 2007 at 11:09 am
I like Scott’s.
April 3, 2007 at 11:43 am
I’m forfeiting 1 and 2 because they’re over 100 words. I’m a Capricorn hard-ass, sorry!
I’m going to vote for Samantha’s, as it does the incredibly difficult task of clearly illustrating a first kiss, complete with the emotional weight of doing something you know is going to be irrevocable but you want to do anyway. And all in 96 words! Amazing job, Samantha.
I liked Cherry’s, but it seemed a bit like it could have been ANY passionate kiss and not a FIRST kiss.
April 3, 2007 at 1:06 pm
My vote goes to Samantha. Is there any context around that tidbit? Inquiring minds want to read the rest of the story.
April 3, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Sarah says: “My vote goes to Samantha. Is there any context around that tidbit? Inquiring minds want to read the rest of the story.”
Not so far, but I might have to expand upon this now. I just wanted to get at the heart of a possibly deadly temptation – ya’ know, really make it sort of dangerous, high stakes, etc. Now I have vague world-building shapes floating in my head. Thanks
.
Sam.
April 3, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Tumperkin! This is the one I remembered after reading all four and I like the twist.
April 3, 2007 at 3:34 pm
I’m voting for Samantha because I SO want to rest of the story that goes with that paragraph!
Although, I have to give a thumbs up to tumperkin, as well.
April 3, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Dude. My first kiss was nothing at all like any of these. How am I supposed to vote now?
April 3, 2007 at 4:08 pm
I like Scott’s — it’s got the whole young, first kiss angst. Plus, I like the word squishy.
Tumperkin’s Sleeping Beauty is good but a little too disturbing for me.
April 3, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Tumperkin’s made me want to read more, disturbing, yet intriguing.
April 3, 2007 at 7:23 pm
I like Scott’s.
April 3, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Another vote for Samantha’s.
April 3, 2007 at 8:46 pm
Another vote for Samantha.
I liked the others but her one was so compelling.
April 4, 2007 at 1:36 am
my vote is for “squishy”, i had similar thoughts during my first kiss
April 4, 2007 at 5:31 am
They were all really well done, but my vote goes to Tumperkin.