Once upon a time, when I was a young girl of twenty, I dated only musicians. And poets! There was one boy in particular whose name was Casey who played bass for a band called Dead Sea Monkeys. They played emo sad boy music. And they were terrible. But they were all so pretty. And Casey was the prettiest with his long brown hair and blue eyes. And he never had any money. Not even for coffee. And he was always crashing at other people’s apartments. And whatever money he had, he spent on pot. But he was so pretty. And he wrote me poetry. And boy, he could kiss. Mem… ries… Like the corners of my mind… Misty water-colored memories… Of the way we were… I wonder what ever happened to him.
Anyway, here’s a nice picture of Ben Jelen in a hammock. Mmm… hammocks. I wonder how hard it would be to do it in a hammock. I bet it’s balancing act or someone — particularly me — is bound to fall off and break her head open. Man, he totally looks like Billy Crudup in Almost Famous. “I AM A GOLDEN GOD!” If you squint, you could totally see his balls. Just kidding. I tried really, really hard and I couldn’t see anything.
And for those who don’t like dirty, hairy hippy boys, there’s this. Looking all emo and sad ’cause you won’t believe in him and his music. Damn you!
Last 5 posts by bam
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April 16, 2007 at 9:37 am
He’s not cute enough to make me wanna look up his shorts. Sorry.
April 16, 2007 at 9:40 am
Hmm… maybe it’s just me and my predilection for dirty hippy boys who look like they haven’t showered in days and would do random hunger strikes for pandas or something.
April 16, 2007 at 10:14 am
what happened to the book?
April 16, 2007 at 10:17 am
Loose Id hasn’t made it available for purchase yet. They said it would be out as of midnight last night, but the site isn’t updated. I’m sorry.
April 16, 2007 at 10:18 am
you guys are terrible book pimps.
April 16, 2007 at 10:21 am
Shh. Look at the man-candy!
April 16, 2007 at 10:21 am
It’ll be up again once Annie confirms that it’s UP, Jane.
In the meantime, can’t we just admire my dirty hippy boy? The current object of my obsession? I’ll move on to the next boy soon enough and y’all will be sorry.
April 16, 2007 at 10:22 am
ha ha, jinx.
April 16, 2007 at 10:23 am
You all read Go Fug Yourself? This is like the scroll down. When it first appears on your blog window, it looks like it might be nekkid and then you are hit with the bad plaid shorts that aren’t baggy enough to look up.
So, I’ve looked at the picture and now what?
April 16, 2007 at 10:25 am
You think of him, lightly oiled and sleepy in the sun, just before he…
Wait, I can’t finish that thought.
April 16, 2007 at 10:27 am
Have I mentioned my love for dirty hippy boys who dress rather poorly?
Looking at this picture, I suddenly have the urge to bust out my old pipe, dust it off along with my Portishead CD, and blaze up in my backyard. Mmm… weed… and dirty hippy boys who don’t even have enough money to buy me a burrito from Roberto’s…
Have I told you guys how happy I am that Tim seems to be scaling the corporate ladder with a quickness that’s almost dizzying?
April 16, 2007 at 10:46 am
I just puked twice and died. I like all the other pictures of him. This just reminds me how much I HATE dirty hippy boys. I’d like to stab, stab, stab them into bloody ribbons.
Did I mention I don’t do dirty hippy boys?
April 16, 2007 at 10:51 am
I liked the artsy, soulful pictures of him, but I don’t like him looking grubby and hairy so much. Who would’ve guessed he’d have so much hair on his legs, based on his pretty, pretty pictures?
He’s wearing fur boots!
April 16, 2007 at 10:52 am
Bear with me, Shuz. 61K left on this WIP and he’ll be gone, baby, gone. Who shall be my next muse? I’m eyeing Jamie Bamber.
April 16, 2007 at 11:24 am
OMG Jamie Bamber. I might love you again. Wow…those eyes…that body…make him brooding and hot, PLEASE!
I agree with Annie. The artsy pictures? Great. The manfur? Not so much. Not that I have hubby engage in manscaping, but that’s a hella lotta leg hair, and it keeps GOING! I keep scrolling back up to the picture and nausea overtakes me. I’m reaching for my razor sharp scissors. I think I gotta go look at Jamie Baber now before I end up slashing my screen.
April 16, 2007 at 11:32 am
Pfft… whatev. You’ll be sorry when you read this scene I’m writing. Ha-ha.
April 16, 2007 at 12:08 pm
My friend, I’m never sorry to read anything you write. I will just produce a different mental image from that sad, sad hippy you’ve got going.
April 16, 2007 at 12:44 pm
awww, thanks, shuz.
Btw, real men have hair. so shut up.
April 16, 2007 at 1:45 pm
It’s the contrast that freaks me out. His chest is mostly “little boy bare” and his thighs aren’t that hairy either. But pan down to his calves and shazaam! He’s like Pan.
April 16, 2007 at 2:04 pm
He is cute, but that pose is gross. Makes me think of fat gym teachers who always sat around in their bermuda shorts with their legs spread too wide. It’s like he’s shouting, “Look! It’s my CROTCH!!”
Seriously, if they’d covered him from the waist down he’d look great. And I loathe hippies. Real men look like Sid Vicious.
April 16, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Haterz! All y’all! Every single one of you, haterz! Why don’t you all have a glass of Hatorade and leave me & Ben alone?
*climbing into the hammock with Ben and sobbing on his hairless chest*
April 16, 2007 at 3:28 pm
**steals dirty hippie boy and hides him under the bed for later use**
O_O
April 16, 2007 at 3:33 pm
OMG HE PLAYS VIOLIN!!!!!!
You have NO IDEA how hot I am for cute dirty (and weird) indie boys who play violin!
**has seizure**
April 16, 2007 at 4:25 pm
he also plays the guitar, the piano, and the sax.
…and his voice is delicious.
*steals dirty hippie boy back from Ally and pulls out a giant sword*
Stay back, bitch. I’ll cut ‘chu.
Hah, someone else thinks he’s the hotness! I’m NOT CRAZY!
April 16, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Oh, no, not crazy. Him’s puuuuuuurty.
Fine, keep your hippie boy. I’ll just sneak in and grope him when you’re not looking, ha!
**runs away**
April 16, 2007 at 4:45 pm
Hairy Ass on aisle twelve!
April 16, 2007 at 4:47 pm
OH, he’s way to young Ally.
Throw him back and pick up the dad. I bet he’s a real looker.
April 16, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Oh, I agree he’s perty. This just isn’t my favorite pic.
His music is actually pretty good, Ally. It’s not fair he should have a face like that and be gifted too.
April 16, 2007 at 4:55 pm
But Teddy, I like ‘em young and corruptible O_O
You take the dad, I’ll take the young’un (if I can get him away from Bam and her big-ass sword), and we’ll have a party…
April 16, 2007 at 4:56 pm
Annie: I’m gonna have to check out the music. It’s the violins that did it. I swear to you all, I have this freaky violin fetish.
April 16, 2007 at 5:01 pm
He’s not as young as he looks. He’s actually 27. That’s not even shocking.
April 16, 2007 at 5:11 pm
I bet his ass is as hairless as his upper body, Teddy. I bet it’s just his legs that are hairy. Okay, and probably his nuts, too. Mmm… nuts.
Yep, he’s 27. And Scottish. But he grew up in Texas and New York, so he’s got this weird… semi-UK accent that has a little twang. IT’S HOT. Check this out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAl5aLbNEzE
He slays me.
The sword is sharp, Ally.
April 16, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Yeah back in the day I always wondered about Ian of Jethro Tull and that flute of his… I wondered if he could do more than just the flute.
Then we both got older now eeeeeeh… It’s OK.
April 17, 2007 at 2:35 am
I’ve started squinting even before I read that you were kidding – dammit Bam! Way to lose a hard on, geez.
He’s Scot?? Okay. He’s a bit too pretty for me but the Scot thing.. I think I might have to lie down.
May 30, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Goddamn! The hammock is whatever, but that picture of him with his shirt pulling out of his pants? I don’t know who this guy is but I like.