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Make Love to Me, Silhouette Cover Model!

Well, goddamn. I’ve never looked at a Silhouette hero and thought, “Uh! Uh! Yeah! Yeah! Give it to me, Papi! Punch it!” I could just be hormonal right now on account of Aunt Flo being in town and all, but there’s something about this cover that made my girly parts tingle something fierce. I wonder if it’s because homeboy looks eerily James Franco, whose male essence I want to take deeply into my body, so that I may carry his child in my lonely, empty womb. Drool… just look at those shoulders. I love how he looks at the woman like, “Man, bitch, I hate you… I really do. You disgust me. But I wouldn’t hate it if you got down on your knees and told me you loved me. With your tongue. No teeth, though.”

Anyway, the date on the bottom says Aug 2007 (I think), but why is our intrepid heroine dressed like a a chick from the… I don’t know, fifties or something? Oh, hey, it’s a wedding dress. She’s got little pearly things in her hair and stuff. She’s even got gloves! I can’t figure out the expression on her face. Is it trepidation? Is it a “Ooh, boy, I landed a James Franco look-alike who’s a gazillionaire and now I can lose my virginity!” kind of hope? Look, she’s happily signing away her soul to him and shit! That’s awesome. Five will get you ten she’s marrying this guy to save her family’s company and he’s marrying her ’cause he needs a “fake wife” as a permanent escort to corporate events and stuff. What’s a marriage of convenience when they inconveniently fall in love?

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 29th, 2007 at 10:06 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

14 Responses to “Make Love to Me, Silhouette Cover Model!”

  1. Emily Veinglory
    Posted: Jul 29th, 2007 at 11:09 am
    1

    Wow. Archi-costume and bad tie aside, there is something about the way that dude is painted.

  2. Carrie Lofty
    Posted: Jul 29th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
    2

    That’s the face of my friends baby boy makes when he’s pooping. Just sayin’…

  3. bam
    Posted: Jul 29th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
    3
    Author Comment

    Ah, duh, Carrie. He’s torn between lust and disgust. That’s kind of like when you’re on the potty and the phone rings and you’re like, “Do I pinch it and make a dash for it or do I finish and let the machine pick it up?”

    Also, concentration can sometimes look like constipation.

    I’m trying to convince myself that the image of James Franco sitting on the toilet is not sexy…

  4. Carrie Lofty
    Posted: Jul 29th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
    4

    I’m trying to convince myself that the image of James Franco sitting on the toilet is not sexy…

    That shouldn’t be too hard… ew….

  5. Gwen
    Posted: Jul 29th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
    5

    Oh my GAWD! You did not just use “pinch it” in a post comment! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    I’m laughing my ass off right now and trying not to be too loud, ’cause then my curtain climber will want to know what I’m laughing about and how on earth will I explain THIS web conversation to her?!

    This cover is just BEGGING for a Cover Snark post, Bam! The bride looks all, “Hearts and flowers and pretty little birdies and won’t he love me forever…blah blah blahty blah blah.” And the groom looks all, “Oh my GAWD! Would she just PUHLEEZ stop dotting all her “i’s” with a heart already? And what is that smell? Is it, no it couldn’t be, BABY lotion? Ah crap. Talk about a buzz kill. How the hell am I going to get her to wear the latex mask I need her to wear so I can get off?”

    HAHAHAHA! Uh oh. The kid is giving me a look like, “what are you laughing at”.

  6. bam
    Posted: Jul 29th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
    6
    Author Comment

    Is it, no it couldn’t be, BABY lotion?

    I think she’s wearing Hello Kitty baby cologne.

    … latex mask, Gwen? That’s it, Miss Thang. You crossed the line! You are so far over the line, the line is like a dot to you!

  7. Gwen
    Posted: Jul 29th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
    7

    Baby - I haven’t seen that line since I was 18! LOL

  8. L.E. Bryce
    Posted: Jul 29th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
    8

    No, what he’s really thinking is, “Yeah, baby, that boner is all mine, all 10 inches, and fabulous.”

  9. Karen Scott
    Posted: Jul 29th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
    9

    I thought the exact same thing that you did about the heroine’s dress, I didn’t realise it was a wedding dress at first, either!

  10. Ann Bruce
    Posted: Jul 30th, 2007 at 5:11 am
    10

    Anyone else here preferred Harry Osborne over Peter Parker in the Spider-Man flicks? Peter was too goody-goody, and he when he went bad, he was just greasy.

  11. Ann(ie)
    Posted: Jul 30th, 2007 at 6:44 am
    11

    You are so far over the line, the line is like a dot to you!

    Friends quote! Joey / Chandler, after Chandler kissed Joey’s gf. Do I win?!

  12. Sherry Thomas
    Posted: Jul 31st, 2007 at 5:06 pm
    12

    ROTFL. I thought you’ve never do cover snark again. *weeps softly in joy*

  13. Sherry Thomas
    Posted: Jul 31st, 2007 at 5:07 pm
    13

    You’d. Crap. School is turning my brain into swiss cheese.

  14. LynTaylor
    Posted: Aug 8th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
    14

    Ha ha … the first image that came to mind when I saw this was that she was going down on him LOL! Even the look on his face suggests it.

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