33 Responses to “Birthdays Suck”

1. Jaded Bee Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 7:45 am

   1 Don’t worry, everyone’s B-Days generally suck, both the day of and the day after. Mine is on Thursday. I had a party on Saturday though and my fam suprised me with a cake that had a pic of my fave guy to drool over…..lead singer of H.I.M., so all in all, it wasn’t that bad. Good news is theres always a good book somewhere to read to make the day better. Right? I’m lookin for optimism here, which is hard cuz I’m currently at woek dealing with society at it’s dumbest. Well, Happy Birthday nonetheless!

2. Karmyn Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 8:24 am

   2 Mine is tomorrow and I know it will be depressing. It always is. Of course, nothing will ever top my 14th birthday. That was the San Francisco earthquake and then four days later my grandmother died. And then the Giants lost the World Series. Not a good one.

3. Meljean Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 8:42 am

   3 Aw. ((bam)) Happy birthday, though. It’ll get better.

4. Jambrea Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 8:53 am

   4 I think as we get older birthdays just suck and feel like it is just another day. I look forward to my son’s birthday. He turned 3 in July and he gets so excited. I LOVE it.

5. Tim Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 9:00 am

   5 Happy Birthday! Feel better: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fWvub_WBho

6. Lorelie Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 9:12 am

   6 My worst birthday? My 16th, by far. Rainy, drizzly day in November and I had Water Polo practice at 5 am anyway. Then school sucked, as usual, and I pretty much bombed a pop quiz in Algebra II. Managed to develop a migraine by the end of the school day and went home to an absolutely empty house. I decided I wanted to have something nice on my b-day so I took my $50 Borders gift certificate two blocks over to the mall, riding my bike. Really bad idea with a migraine. I ended up puking into a trashcan from the pain, right outside the comic book store. Two geek boys (and not the sneaky-hot kind, but the ones who constantly wipe snot off their noses with the backs of their hands) asked if I was okay and obviously pitied me. Whee. Couldn’t even find anything I wanted at Borders, so went home empty handed. And then I went to bed. At a quarter to six. So! Hope you feel better. Even if this one’s shitty just remember there will be a matching b-day that rocks with its awesomeness a little down the line. Things usually seem to balance out that way.

7. Andi & Stien Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 9:41 am

   7 Happy Birthday! It’s too bad birthdays tend to suck. Don’t know why that is, especially when it should be a ‘Happy’ day. Anyway. My worst one was when my mom and sister practically ignored me on the day I turned 20. Man, that was a lousy day. I cried my eyes out that evening. My mom apologized and took me to the movies the next day. But it wasn’t the same… Andi

8. kate r Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 9:42 am

   8 yes but by god, I can tell that you are not that old, or you wouldn’t complain because you’d know that the moment you opened your mouth to kvetch, you’d hear: IT’S BETTER THAN THE ALTERNATIVE from everyone who knows you and a lot of people who don’t know you. Along with something about how many you are in dog years, but you’ve gotten that by now. Happy Birthday, old woman! –way older woman

9. kate r Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 9:45 am

   9 my worst birthday = 29 I had a list of things I’d accomplish by then and I had done nothing on that list. I’d gotten married, but I think I added that on just to make myself feel better. The incident taught me never to make lists. second worst = 20. I was all alone and asked strangers from my new school to go out with me. No one would. I ended up drinking too much alone in my new apartment. third worst = 2 years ago. The only person who remembered was my son and that’s because it’s his birthday too and he only wanted to know what I was getting him. Not so much as a card from my immediately family, including the boy who shares my birthday. They have since learned this is a bad, bad thing to do. Cards, flowers at the very least.

10. lisabea Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 10:07 am

    10 My birthday is the day after halloween, which is generally a time of sugar overload. All Saints is also a Holy Day, which is cool. My absolute worst ever was my 40th, 2 years ago. My husband was away visiting MY sister, my mom had surgery that morning, and I missed seeing Audioslave cuz I had to take care of her. Crappy birthday to me. But, Happy Birthday, Bam, hope your day improves.

11. kardis Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 10:32 am

    11 Happy Birthday Bam, I really hope things are going better! My worst birthday was when I was 14. I was in the hospital, and even my parents weren’t allowed to see me. I got better though. Take care! love, kardis

12. Kerry Allen Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 10:39 am

    12 If it makes you feel any better, thirty bucks is more than I have in my checking account… I spent my 22nd birthday pushing a head the size of a cantaloupe out a hole the size of a walnut. Which wasn’t the big screaming deal the woman in the next room over made it out to be, but my suffering was increased by having to listen to her bitching. Birthday to you, Bam!

13. Jennifer Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 11:01 am

    13 Four words: Birthday dinner at Wendy’s. My birthdays have pretty much sucked after I turned 21. My next one will be 30. Whee. Anyway, you have the same birthday as a friend of mine, so I wish you both well!

14. Jenn Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 11:04 am

    14 I had two bad ones. My 16th was snowed out when a blizzard hit that morning. I got to party with my 8yo sister. The worst, however, was my 22nd. My mother-in-law made a nice dinner for us and then my fiance and I went out to a club. About three hours after dinner, while I was on the dance floor, I started feeling not-so-good, and I’d only had soda! I turned to tell my fiance I was going to the bathroom when … wham! What could only be described as a tidal wave of vomit exited my body. The club manager was great despite the rush for the doors and helped my fiance get me out of there. I was sick all night, so my mom finally took me to the ER, where I was diagnosed with food poisoning.

15. Carrie Lofty Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 11:43 am

    15 My 30th birthday, and not for the usual age-angst issues. My husband was away for three months on an internship, I was stuck alone with the kids, and a visit to my parents’ house wound up in the biggest knock-down fight we’d ever had, when I finally confronted them about their substance abuse. Cheery shit! Hope you have a good one!!!!! *cries*

16. Tumperkin Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 11:53 am

    16 Cheer up, Bam. Just think:- 1. You are a published author 2. You are a very talented writer 3. You are hilarious 4. I just bought Boundless the other day so hopefully a cool 20 cents or so will be making its way into your account very soon 5. Every birthday brings you a little closer to the blessed release of death Happy birthday.

17. bam Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 11:54 am

    17 Author Comment Damn it, Carrie… I can’t laugh at that! You suck. And to everyone else, thanks for the birthday wishes. And the belly laughs at your expense. You guys rock. 5. Every birthday brings you a little closer to the blessed release of death Tumperkin is good times.

18. shuzluva Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 12:20 pm

    18 Well, my friend, I already told you how I felt about you complaining. Since you’re an eon younger than I am, I’ll regale you with my worst birthday story: One month before my 21st birthday my dad died. My mom kept finding gifts he’d hidden around the house for me - he wanted to have 21 gifts for my big day, and I couldn’t look at any of them. While that story totally sucks and actually gives me physical pain when I remember it, I’ll tell you a funny forgotten milestone: The hubster and I completely forgot our anniversary this year (seven year itch my ass - it only itches if you remember to count)! I was at a bridal shower for my brother’s fiance (that I was throwing with my aunt) and my aunt turned to me and said “Hey, isn’t it your anniversary?”. She was the only one in our ENTIRE family (including all of the hubby’s siblings, both his sets of parents and my whole family) who remembered. Now I never have to send another person a fucking anniversary card; and when my in-laws (generally one of the SILs and MILs) reminds me of someone’s goddamn anniversary that I’ve forgotten, I’ll remind them that everyone forgot mine and I’m off the hook. Thank goodness!

19. SweetNSourGirl Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    19 My worst birthday was my 16th (sweet 16 my ass, more like sour 16!) I was broke, my friends were out on vacation (summer birthdays are a pain.) Didn’t have a car or a driver’s license. I was alone, no one talked to me all day. Not so much as a freakin’ phone call! And the crowning turd on a shitty birthday, my present from my adoring mother: a bed and a weird coffee table. Now think about this for a second, my mother gave her sixteen year old daughter a bed and a coffee table. Yeah, thanks, Mom. Did I mention that I hate furniture?

20. Ella/L Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 2:36 pm

    20 Awww. I hope you get a gigantic cake that makes it feel better, cake here being a euphemism for anything but more crappiness.

21. Kanigget Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 3:06 pm

    21 It was either my 5th or 6th birthday (I try to block it out.) My family decided to give this lame cook-out for my party and I fell into the lake and cut my head open, was attacked, mauled really, by a goose, and then it rained before we got to the cake. Fun times all around. But best birthday wishes to you!

22. Jackie Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    22 Happy birthday, sweetness! My worst birthday story? Er. None. But, if it makes you feel any better, my tits sag horribly if I’m not wearing a bra. There now. Don’t you feel perky?

23. Josie Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 3:29 pm

    23 Happy Birthday Bam! My worst birthday was my 23rd, I had recently moved OS and I had no one to celebrate with except my (now very ex) boyfriend, who forgot. When I called him at work to remind him, he couldn’t understand why I was upset. So to make up for it he returned home quite late that night stoned out of his brain and with the very thoughtful gift of a pair of floral gardening gloves (he worked in a garden nursery). Yes, he slept on the couch

24. BevL(QB) Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 5:24 pm

    24 Happy Birthday Bamster! May you blow more than candles, and may more than cake be eaten tonight! I’ve had bad birthdays all my life. Mine is 5 days after Christmas and the night before New Years Eve. So, not only did Christmas presents get held back to be given on my birthday, but it was always Christmas break at school, so no friends around to celebrate with. And to top it all off, once I got old enough to bar crawl, the damn bars were always empty (aka slim pickup pickins’) because everyone was gearing up for New Year’s Eve the following night. BLECH! But, then again, no birthdays REALLY suck when you consider the alternative. *g*

25. Bettie Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 10:05 pm

    25 HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAM! My birthday mantra: It doesn’t mater what the D.O.B. on your license is, as long as bouncers and liquor store clerks still ask to see it when you buy booze. On the other hand, nothing makes you feel old like realizing that you are actually happy to get carded. Worst birthday? So many to choose from… How about this? The 1992 LA riots started on my birthday. Downside: I watched my old neighborhood burn on TV. Upside: My birthday’s in the title of a Sublime song. Downside to the Upside: the date in the song’s opening line is wrong. Bugs me every time I hear it.

26. raine Posted: Oct 16th, 2007 at 10:16 pm

    26 Happy Birthday! (And for pete’s sake–you’re gorgeous. What else d’ya want?). Worst birthday? 24th. A group of friends came to pick me up for a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. I’m at my thinnest weight ever, great dress, kick-ass shoes, matching shoulderbag. I come sauntering down my mom’s staircase as they’re outside blowing the horn. Three steps, a landing in front of a window, nine more steps down. The heel on the right shoe breaks. I fall. Three steps. Grab for the railing. Miss. Good Lord, I’m heading for the window, and I’m two stories up. Manage to twist the body so no, I don’t fall out the window–just down four more steps. Ouch. Mom calmly comes to staircase. “You alright?” “What could possibly be wrong?” I croak. I’m dangling from the railing, and the purse is now my earring. “Well hurry up, those people are honking outside.” After quick change of shoes, I endure the ride to the restaurant with everyone telling me how good I look. Once we arrived, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and take inventory. Twisted ankle–check. Bloody kneecap, which has halted the run in my stocking–check. Old shoes that pinched the toes–check. All fingernails of right hand left embedded in railing–check. Still, I tried to enjoy the dinner. It was only halfway through that my friends noticed I had tears rolling down my cheek. They thought I was so moved by their efforts I was crying. F*ck no–the chef that was stir-frying at our table had smoke just pouring into my contact-lensed eyes. Happy Birthday, Bam (and watch those stairs…)

27. Charlene Posted: Oct 17th, 2007 at 3:57 am

    27 The worst? My 18th, which is the big one where I live. Cramps so bad I ended up in the college infirmary on drugs that made it impossible for me to drink. Better yet, when I got home it turned out that my family forgot, even my mother. They looked at me blank-faced when I said it was my birthday, then all said “oh, yeah”. I thought they were joking, but it turned out they weren’t. They tried to make it up later on with a “party”, and I played along, but it really hurt at the time.

28. Lorelie Posted: Oct 17th, 2007 at 5:56 am

    28 I was at a bridal shower for my brother’s fiance (that I was throwing with my aunt) and my aunt turned to me and said “Hey, isn’t it your anniversary?”. She was the only one in our ENTIRE family . . . who remembered. I can one up ya! My step-brother planned his actual wedding, not just the shower, on my anniversary and no one noticed, remembered or even said sorry when I pointed it out.

29. Ann Aguirre Posted: Oct 17th, 2007 at 6:58 am

    29 Happy birthday, Dee. Your present should be there soon. But I won’t tell you to think of me when you’re using or, or people will think we’re like Butch and Vishous. Worst birthday story? Well, when I was 19 my grandpa died. I was at his funeral on my birthday. That was pretty terrible. And last year, Andres went to Huatulco, leaving me alone with the kids. He had a business conference to attend and didn’t bother checking if we could come along. Turns out we could have — other wives and kids were there. Nobody called me to say happy birthday either. And when he got home, he gave me a present that said, “I forgot, panicked, and bought this at the airport.” He was lucky he didn’t buy me tequila cos I would’ve clocked him with it.

30. Karmyn Posted: Oct 17th, 2007 at 11:40 am

    30 I have plenty of other horrible birthday stories, but I still don’t think anything tops 14. Although 19 was bad in spots, 23 I got sick, and 25 was a week after we moved away from the home we had lived in forever. My parents had lived there at least 30 years and my Dad had lived on the property until he was 12. This land had been the family for generations, but we lost it to back taxes. As drafty and falling down as the houses were, I still miss them. I once met two people who were born on the actual day the Challenger exploded. Poor kids. 32 has turned out okay so far. I got a few gifts I had bought for myself today, I got more money then I expected, and the nurse agreed to wait to cut open the hematoma on my thumb. I told her it can wait until next week when flu shorts come in. That way I can get all the pain over at once.

31. heather (errantdreams) Posted: Oct 18th, 2007 at 7:52 am

    31 I think my worst birthday was the one my husband and I were supposed to spend together, but he was on call, and ended up getting called to the phone like every 30 minutes. I got so frustrated. That isn’t so bad, really, as bad birthdays go; mostly mine have just been unmemorable. I hope yours got better!

32. Karmyn Posted: Oct 18th, 2007 at 5:28 pm

    32 I think Ann wins worst birthday. Well, other than my great-great grandmother who actually died on her birthday. But then so did Shakespeare and John Banner.

33. Anne Cain Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    33 Eeeee— missed your B-day, Bam!?!? *hangs head in SHAME* I’m sending a hundred belated birthday hugs-n-kisses, and a round of e-margaritas. (And Brian gets bonus points for thinking of Justin Hartley. )