Ann’s JR Ward Lightning Reviews

[Bam’s Note: Ann read these books one after the other. In ONE sitting. That’s dedication. Oh, and here be spoilers. Lots of ‘em.]

Okay, first, I cannot keep the titles straight. If Bam wants to fix this she can, but otherwise, whatever. Y’all will know what I’m talking about. Oh, and I’m not worried about spoilers. I figure everyone else in the known world has read these so big deal, right? But you have been warned.

Book 1 - Hello, wildly oscillating POV. I usually can’t stand books that open in the POV of someone who’s gonna die. Or hell, someone who isn’t a protagonist. JR Ward writes well enough that it minimizes my distaste, but still, not an auspicious start. If I hadn’t been so damn determined to wade through these books, I probably would’ve put it down before page 5 and never picked it up again.

Bam told me, “Stick with it. It gets better.”

So I did.

Well, okay, you know how in the book, Beth asks for bacon and chocolate? After her change? To me, the whole book was bacon and chocolate. Both can be delicious, under the right circumstances, but really shouldn’t go together. It’s just …too much.

This book had a kitchen sink feel to me, and some really trippy world-building. But I don’t take off points for imagination. If anything, it was good to see a unique twist on vampires, even if it didn’t always work for me.

You know what I’m talking about. What earthly reason do a bunch of ancient vampires have to go around living (and talking!) Thug Life? It doesn’t track. If they had a fairly recent recruit, a black dude, who had shown them Yo! Mtv Raps back in the day, it might make a lick of sense. Okay, the brothers saw this slice of pop culture, liked it, and adopted it. Otherwise it’s just weird and random and lame. If she had even made a point of saying that Rhage was a pop culture junkie and he got the others on board with, that might’ve helped. But with no explanation whatsoever, the faux hip-hop dialog was pitiful.

And it got on my nerves. “Blah blah blah, you feel me?” “Blah blah blah, true?” “Blah blah blah, dig?” “Blah blah blah, I’m outtie.” It wasn’t even good street-speak. By the time an expression becomes mainstream, it’s old, and folks on the cutting-slang-edge aren’t using it anymore. Dig? And the one character (Butch!) who should’ve sounded modern felt like a wanna-be member of the rat pack, the bastard child of Frank Sinatra’s left nut.

Anyway, onto the plot. Heroine has crappy life and a frigid vagina. She hates her job and her boss, who she thinks is a “letch”. I thought it would be “lech”, abbreviation of lecher. But I digress. She goes home from work late and alone and is nearly raped. Therefore, she thinks doing it with a leather clad giant who lurks outside her window is a GREAT idea. But don’t blame her, her hormones are fucked up because she’s going through ch-ch-changes.

Hero is a whiny bastard who growls a lot and is more emo-than-emo about his past. (Gosh there’s a surprise.) You just never get a well-adjusted vampire hero who’s all, “Yeah, I drink blood sometimes. And I can’t go outside during the day. But it’s cool. I’m a night person anyway. You wanna go for ice cream?”

Then what about the Lessers? I don’t understand. “The Lessening Society.” Does that mean they’re devote to making sure there are less vampires? Cause that’s a really lame name for bad guys. It sounds like they just want to kill a few, but make sure there are some left so they always have something to do on Saturday night. Bored? Go out and hang outside ZeroSum or Screamers’s and wait for the vampires to show up. We’ll “rumble”, West Side Story rules. [Bam’s Note: Dance-off!]

I mean, fuck, why not go all the way? The Eradicators. The Eradication Society. They want to kill ‘em all, don’t they? Or DO they??

Anyway, almost from the first moment he spies the heroine, the “mine” game begins. A lot of stuff happens, including random POV switches that don’t seem to advance the story, and they do the up-n-down. More than once. She changes, hero tells her he’s a coward who was locked in his basement while his whole family was slaughtered–and he’s not worthy of love because, instead of screaming to be killed like a dipshit, he kept his yap shut. So this has been tormenting him for hundreds of years, but when the heroine tells him, “You’re a dumbass but I love you”, a golden ray of light comes down and sings out in seraphic tones, “Yes, you are a dumbass, you must now rule your people.”

And he’s all like, Okay, I will rule my people. Thank god for Beth and her magical vagina and her great good sense. The end. Grade: B

Book 2 This was my favorite of all the books. I liked Rhage (even with the lame-ass name) and I thought he actually had some character development. There was a real beauty and the beast feel to this one, even if Mary didn’t qualify in her own mind. I liked that it was her voice that mesmerized him at first, instead of him taking one whiff of her and knowing she’s his true mate. I’m kind of sick of the smelling thing. Like, hero-man gets a whiff of the V.O. and that’s it! He’s in lurve.

This was the only story where I felt like the relationship had any real conflict or anything real at stake. JR Ward did a wonderful job of capturing the essence and psychology of someone suffering with a terminal illness. Mary’s fear of letting Rhage in felt totally real to me. I mean, hello, she’s an average woman who is DYING. And then suddenly there’s this huge, gorgeous Fabio muthafucker acting like she’s irresistible, showing up at her house at 4am and shit. I found her reactions totally credible, even when he wore her down with sheer persistence. I mean, how many times can you say no to the totally hot dude who is desperate to do you, for reasons you cannot fathom?

Well, hello, fuck logic! I don’t blame Mary a bit for getting down. And I loved how she tamed his beast. To enjoy this book, however, I had to set aside all my previous objections to the names, language and the world-building stuff that didn’t make sense. If you can say to yourself, “Fuck it, this doesn’t have to make sense,” then you may enjoy these books too.

The villains don’t seem very scary, to be honest. There’s a Scooby Doo quality about the Lessers. I could see them chasing people in and out of doors, up and down the hallways to some great Sly and the Family Stone song.

But I loved John Matthew, even though it was readily apparent he was Darius. The “foreshadowing” was pretty heavyhanded in book one, so I knew it was coming.

Ending was a little disappointing. I don’t enjoy the deus ex machina shit too much. But a let-down HEA is better than somebody dying, that’s for sure. Grade: B+

Book 3- This was supposed to be my favorite book. I was totally into Zsadist and his menace, the scars and his ritual pain shit. But honestly, the beginning dragged. I like the hero and heroine together much earlier, at least interacting. And for a good part of it, he was sitting on her bed or cleaning her house, and she was in a hole, captive to a crazy Lesser who was hoping she’d take the place of his dead sweetie.

The constant switching of leadership for the Lessers was fucked up. It’s hard to fear such a disorganized enemy. And the Omega? NOT scary.

But once they saved Bella, Zsadist turned into a puppy dog. We found out he really just wants to be loved and the Brotherhood has totally misjudged him. Those bastards just read him wrong! For 200 years! They all must be dumb as stumps (even Vishous, who is supposed to be like a magickal vampire super-computer with a glowy hand).

That bugged me a lot. I mean, they’re supposed to be close, right? Flesh of my flesh. And yet none of them, not even his twin, had an idea what Z was really like inside. He’s not broken, he’s ruined. His own brother said that about him.

And yet all it took was Bella’s love and magical vagina to cure him of his fears, phobias and issues. It felt like all the dire shit that had been said about him prior was just window-dressing. It wasn’t hard enough. I guess that’s the ultimate fantasy — a woman’s love can change a man, but I dunno. I was disappointed by this book, even though Z had been my favorite brother.

The whole twin love triangle thing? Sigh. Didn’t work for me. And I hated how Bella kept going to Phury when Z would reject her. Does the pretty vampire not have a brain? Your man is testing you, honey, and everytime you walk away from him, you’re failing! He thinks, deep down, you’ll wind up leaving him for someone more “worthy”, that’s why he’s trying to fob you off on his brother. I didn’t think she was strong enough to deserve him, honestly. She just kept asking for shit and asking for shit and running off to Phury. And his issues got worked out almost as a “by the way.”

Oh, and this is where it is first hinted that Vishous is a bisexual freak. In the first two books, I got no vibe whatsoever between Butch and Vishous. They were just two dudes, hanging out. Well, two dudes who talk about their feelings. But the whole brotherhood is like that. They’re all kind of “nancy” in that way, as Butch would say.

I’m sure the whole world feels differently, but I think Phury is a whiny little bitch. He’s a drugged out junkie who begrudged his own brother some happiness. I mean, it was clear from the jump who Bella was into. He should’ve respected that. But the sad little fucker lives a life of celibacy, martyring himself because his brother was taken and he wasn’t. Uhm, who asked you to, asshole? Climb down off the cross, baby, and check yourself into vampire rehab because nobody likes your “poor me” shenanigans. Grade: B-

Book 4 - I had to make myself read this one because I really didn’t care.

Marissa had the spine (and charisma) of a jellyfish and Butch pined after her for months? Ugh. I don’t much like Butch anyway. He stalked Beth all over town in book 1, wouldn’t take no for an answer, and then became a hanger-on of the Brotherhood? Basically, he functioned as their driver. And I didn’t give a shit. But his internal dialogs cracked me up. He was really into Rat Pack movies, I guess.

This book struck me as long and rambling and unfocused with lots of manufactured conflict. It starts with another kidnapping and a dire injury (this is becoming a pattern). The Omega sticks something in Butch’s belly. Uh oh. Alien! Gosh, I wonder if someone will be injured in book 5? [Bam’s Note: Affirmative.]

We learn that Marissa’s insane brother Havers kept them apart, and she thought Butch didn’t want her anymore. Because, despite the fact that she’s mind-bogglingly beautiful, she thinks she’s ugly and defective. I guess vampires can’t check their own reflections, huh? Bummer.

So Marissa saves Butch by staying with him in the hospital. Even though they only spent a few hours together, six months ago, her voice is enough to bring him back from the Fade. Of course as soon as he wakes up and smells her, he gets a giant boner, even though he’s near death. Pretty soon they’re rolling around on the hospital bed and Marissa has her first orgasm. Vishous watches the action and gets kinda hot and bothered. She jerks Butch off but his manly juice comes out black from the junk the Omega stuck in him, so he freaks out. This is a theme, btw. There’s lots of freaking out over orgasms throughout the series.

Havers kicks Butch out and Vishous takes Butch to his secret freak lair. Butch and Marissa do a push-pull thing through the book. They mess around, then they fight because Marissa is a baby and doesn’t want to see her fragile human toy broken, and Butch runs off to get drunk. He feels bad about being a puny man instead of a “male”, so he suddenly gets a secret vampire lineage. He’s descended from Wrath! He’s royal! Let’s turn him! Even though it had been said that didn’t work on humans, we can do it for Butch cos he’s speshul, he’s one of us.

Cos that thing the Omega put in him actually works to their advantage! Now he can inhale Lessers like they were giant walking bongs. We get to see that exact scene TWICE, with different brothers reacting incredulously, just to make sure we got how SPESHUL it is that Butch can do this.

Then there’s a scene where Vishous gets all drunk and tries to kill himself because Butch left him for a woman. That heartless bastard! Butch comes to save him and V confesses his unholy longings. Butch is like, “We’re cool, dude, just come down off the ledge.”

Then the Scribe Virgin tells them they’re two halves of a whole. And some other stuff happens.

And Marissa grows a spine by voting on the council. She finally acts like an adult and starts a house for abused vampire wives. After the council meeting, she makes Butch madly jealous because she’s sitting next to Rehvenge (don’t even get me started on him).

They’re both desperate and lonely and miss each other, but talking is not their strong suit, so they don’t resolve anything out loud. Instead they have wild freaky sex in the Escalade but she can’t smell his bonding scent, so she figures they’re over. Why confirm something like that out loud??

Then Butch goes off to sit by himself and lets the truck fill up with the bonding scent. See, he was holding it back because he didn’t want to pressure her. Yeah, these two are MADE for each other. Neither of them has the sense to talk about what’s on their minds. I wonder if holding back bonding scent is like a backed up fart. You think Butch got a stomachache?

And even though he’s not eligible for Black Dagger Brotherhood because of the rules regarding maternal lineage, well, heck, the Scribe Virgin will waive that too! Cos he’s Butch, he’s speshul, he’s the Chosen One, who will… do something to the Omega. So he joins the Brotherhood.

When he gets back, Marissa is waiting for him, cos Beth talked some sense into her, and then the brothers carve her name on his back. Or something. The end. Grade: C-

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007 at 7:19 am and is filed under Books, Grade: B, Romance: Paranormal, Reviews by Annie. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

48 Responses to “Ann’s JR Ward Lightning Reviews”

Randi
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 8:16 am

OMG! Seriously, I thought I was the ONLY one who disliked this series. I would purposfully stay out of conversations about JR Ward because people seem to love her. A lot. And are very emphetic about it.

I just want to say two things: 1) you totally highlighted everything about the series I couldn’t stand (especially after the LKH trainwreck) and 2) you detailed it all with super-wit! I always wished I had super-wit.

Just glad to know I’m not alone. *sigh*

Ann Aguirre
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 8:21 am

You’ll note that despite the things I didn’t enjoy about the series, I still graded it pretty high, Randi. It was only the last book that really didn’t draw me in.

The first three enthralled me, despite all my misgivings. Because of that, Ms. Ward qualifies as a heck of a storyteller. I found the books very entertaining, for the most part. It has a soap opera appeal, I think, in many ways.

Jade
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 8:23 am

lol I love it!! That was perfect! I read these books as well and was wondering what the hell?
I started with Zsadist’s book and then backtracked. I actually liked Zsadist he was my favorite brother. I Didn’t care for Wrath, Vishous pisses me off. Butch only would have been interesting if he had ended up with Vishous. And the Slang is annoying! The lessers are ridiculous and I skip over every part of the books that is written from their point of view.
I haven’t read Vishous’s book and I am still not sure if I will. I have read reviews and I think this book is highly likely to just piss me off.

Melissa
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 8:34 am

OMG I loved your review. Lover Eternal was my fave too even tho it gets bashed alot. I have a bit of a love/hate relationaship with this series cuz I like the stories but all the slang and stupid names and extra Hs and Zs work my last nerve!

Ann Aguirre
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 8:41 am

Melissa, I was really surprised to find I’m in the minority for liking Mary and Rhage. Apparently people see her as a MarySue, but she didn’t hit me that way.

Bella is usually the favorite, but I didn’t like her too well. And Z was my favorite brother too.

I got book 5 and read it after the ebook price drop. I’ll just say I didn’t quite buy the Vishous and Jane thing, although I did like the interactions between them. It was just too fast, and not enough.

Lorelie
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 9:06 am

Bwahaha, this is hilarious. Totally accurate and yet. . . oh and yet. Who was it who said something about the crack sprinkled on the page in the last comment thread?
Actually Anne, Rhage and Mary’s my BFF’s fave, too. And personally I thought his whole “learn to deal with the beast” was a good arc.

Oh and as for the chocolate and bacon thing: http://tinyurl.com/2z8lqn

Ann Aguirre
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 9:11 am

Now I’m officially frightened. There’s actually a bacon and chocolate candy bar?!

Does JR Ward know this? Because she could have Fritz order them for the folks who were going through ch-cha-changes.

Jaime
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 9:33 am

You crack me up!! You were, however, right on the money! I have enjoyed all the books so far - I had to do what you did - let go and just read instead of analyze. Once I did that it was good. I did not like the last book. It pissed me off. Peace.

bam
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 9:42 am

Author Comment

Oh and as for the chocolate and bacon thing: http://tinyurl.com/2z8lqn

that’s fucking disgusting. I wouldn’t eat that if I were starving. Hell, with the way things stand in San Diego right now, I might be starving pretty soon and I still wouldn’t eat it.

Bettie
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 9:44 am

“Yeah, I drink blood sometimes. And I can’t go outside during the day. But it’s cool. I’m a night person anyway. You wanna go for ice cream?”

BWAH! Ann, you are hilarious. Also, I’m dying to see this in a story now. Mmm. Icecream.

Lorelie
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 9:49 am
11

Bam, you won’t be starving. I just hope you like your coyote charbroiled.

bam
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 9:51 am

Author Comment

I wonder if holding back bonding scent is like a backed up fart. You think Butch got a stomachache?

You know, I didn’t even think one could hold back the bonding scent. I thought it was an involuntary response, for the “Gasp! You are involuntarily in love with her! DAMN YOU, INCONVENIENT BONDING SCENT!” factor.

that’s crazy.

I remember that episode of South Park where people were blowing up from holding in their farts because they didn’t want to fart in front of a new boy/girlfriend. Awesome.

Ann Aguirre
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 10:19 am

Haha, now I have an image of Butch kicking back in the Escalade, unfastening the top button on his pants and being like, “Ahhhhhhhhhhh, finally the woman is gone. Now I can let loose.” * Lets bonding scent rip.*

lightlyfell
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 11:21 am

Damn you, bam, I’ve been laughing for 10 minutes now because of that South Park reference. Note to self, MUST see that episode.

You know, I love Ward’s books (okay, not LU so much, for all the reasons we all know by now) but I love to read the negative reviews about her so much that I think I have some sort of sickness. I mean, the woman has given me hours of reading pleasure, what twisted little need do I have to see her trashed? But I do. I just adore it. I think because 1) there’s a lot of truth in all the negative comments, the slang IS stupid, the world-building changes, etc. etc. And also 2) her fans are SO rabid and insistent that every word she writes is gold that it makes me want to hurt something. I mean, yeah, when she’s on, she’s on. No doubt. But she makes mistakes. She veers off course.

I didn’t like LR at all, and felt no one understood. (I cried a little, late at night.) I actually liked LU much better, even with all its problems. But the sea change I feel coming means Phury will be the last one I read. Certainly the last one I buy.

Ann Aguirre
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 11:34 am

Oh, I agree. I liked LU better than LR by far.

I was thinking about it, and there’s a bright side. Human males actually have a bonding scent too. It mostly comes out when they’ve eaten a plate of chili cheese fries while watching a televised sporting event. The downside is that it doesn’t smell like CK Obsession or Davidoff’s Cool Water. No, we human females get Eau de Old Asparagus or Cartman’s Boiled Cabbage.

And yes, there is definitely something addictive and immersing about her books.

bam
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 11:38 am
16

Author Comment

I wonder if my bonding scent smells like vulva.

Kerry Allen
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 12:12 pm

Ya got the Yo MTV Raps thing all wrong. The Brothers have ALWAYS talked like that, and it’s only recently that their speech patterns and preference for bling have begun to infiltrate American culture. Feel me?

Ann Aguirre
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 12:19 pm

Damn, it’s SO obvious. I cannot believe I missed that, Kerry.

Can’t you just picture them in the old country with their pimped out carriages and heavy “You ain’t Henry the Muthafuckin’ 8th” so step-off gold chains? I so get it now.

Brotherspeak is actually Olde English for Vampires. All the other old school dudes were like:

With him there rode a gentle Pardoner
Of Rounceval, his friend and his companion,
That straight was come from the court of Rome.
Full loud he sang “Come hither, love, to me!”
This Summoner bore to him a stiff burden …
A voice he had as small as hath a goat.
No beard had he, nor never should have;
A smooth it was as it were late shave.
I trowe he were a gelding or a mare.

And the Brothers were like, “FUCK YOU. We are NOT gay. I will so bust a cap in yo’ ass for even thinkin’ that shit, true? When I get with the right blood-ho, I totally smell like cinnamon, cardamom and sweet elderberries. Forget you, I could kill you with my MIND, bee-yotch. Dig?”

Then the first human-Butch-sidekick person was like, “Forsooth, verily.”

bam
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 12:22 pm
19

Author Comment

I love you, BFF Ann.

BevL(QB)
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 12:43 pm

You know, I like this series despite the K-Fed junk. The BDBs can be real assholes, you know? And they all need some intense therapy, cause these guys have some pretty PHUCKED-UP heads. *snort* But the power of love and magic hoo-haws redeems one of them by the end of each book- at least as far as their attitude towards their woman goes. Of course, up to that point, we’re treated to some big-ass drama queen shit from them, and once they give in to their woman’s magic hoo-haws, we’re treated to some damn fine phuck scenes *snicker*, followed by a whole lot of possessive chest thumpin’ , teeth barin’ and growling.

I’m quoting myself from a few months ago because I THINK we have the same attitude (yours just makes me laugh harder) about the BDBs. There is just SO much to make fun of, yet at the same time, the damn things are completely addictive! So I can totally relate to the high grades even though the review seems to be a rant.

Ann Aguirre
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 12:55 pm

That reminds me…

I wanted to say something about the gayness. Every review I read said something about how they totally picked up on the vibe between Butch and Vishous before book three.

I gotta say, the only gay I saw came from Butch. One way. I mean, it was always in Butch’s POV when he would notice how hot one of the brother’s look, or how delicious he smelled… and then he’d reign himself back mentally with a thought like, “but of course he didn’t swing that way.”

Look, Butch, if you’re admiring the sexy width of a man’s shoulders in his silk shirt, admiring the tight curve of his ass in his designer pants, and inhaling his sweet, sweet scent like he’s bottled heaven…

Well. Dude. Maybe you ain’t gay, but you’re a revolving door, dig?

I didn’t see too much of that in Vishous until Phury announced he was a bisexual freak in book three. And then, suddenly, there was a whole bunch of that. But the initial gayness? All came from Butch, and not just toward V.

Just sayin’.

Casee
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 1:02 pm

Great reviews, Ann!! I am so in agreement about Phury. Wait until you read LU (if you haven’t already), he gets even more creepy.

So the only thing the Brothers need to be happy is magical vagina.

Hey, at least it’s consistent.

Teddy Pig
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 2:07 pm
23

A bacon chocolate bar? Oh my my my my my That is wrong on so many levels.

Ella/L
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 2:25 pm

Yay! Someone besides me liked Lover Eternal the best. It made the most sense to me. I guess I like they had real conflict…and that Mary isn’t a ghost.

I liked the little things. The thing about capturing the moon? Friggin’ adorable.

Kinda sucks how they got put completely on the back burner in the later books, though.

LesleyW
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 3:50 pm

I thought most people liked Lover Eternal the best. I do think it’s the best told story. My favourites are LE and LA.

And I was kind of meh about LR, but couldn’t put my finger on why.

Susan
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 4:49 pm

Ann, Another BDB review on this site that had me head tossed back laughing way out loud. Ward needs to keep writing just so you all can entertain us with the reviews. And it sounds like she’s set to keep cranking them out and into a new series too. LE is my fav as well. In fact, I’m thinking that should have been the only book (it’s weird, I know). It seems the more I know about the characters it somehow all becomes so mundane, or just plain weird (the ghost thing with Jane, what the fuck? and she might be having babies, sorry young, like that? What the fuck?). Also, and I’m no judge of the actual writing technique as you all can see here, but how can the books be so long and contain so little substance? In the end at book 15, or whatever, someone will be able to edit out all the useless crap and we’ll see that there could have been only 5 books. I’m so disappointed by the last book that I’m not rushing out to get any of the new ones on the first day.
Hope all you in S.CA are safe.

Shannon
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 6:55 pm

Loved the reviews. And its freaky, I agree, how you can find so much wrong with the world building and random slang and naming, but you still love (or at least like) the stories.

Personally, at this point I’m holding out for JM and Rehv’s story, and I’m praying that they dont get ruined. Phury I have always been completely uninterested in, so his is going to pain me. But I’ll buy it anyway, because I’m addicted like that.

I think my favorite of the written books is LA, just because I still love Z, even if he did get pupified. My favorite story, though, is the fictional Butch/Vishous plot that exists within my mind as the alternate ending aka, the way things should have been. I call it Lovers I Wish…

Kat
Posted: Oct 23rd, 2007 at 10:52 pm

I agree with so many things in this review, I don’t know where to begin. I would never have finished DL if not for my friend who kept telling me to keep reading even though I found it pretty meh. It wasn’t until LE that I was hooked–and Rhage wasn’t even my favourite character. I also wanted to love LR the best but it didn’t live up to my expectations. It had some standout scenes (okay, one), but the chemistry between Z and Bella that was so yummy in the previous book was lacking, Phury bugged me, and Z’s character became so damn sappy at the end. I liked LR better than I thought I would because Butch never did anything for me (I always pictured him as TJ Hooker *lol*) and I wasn’t all that intersted, but I loved some of the individual scenes in that book.

Jade
Posted: Oct 24th, 2007 at 5:45 am

Shannon I’m with you… I’m all for Lovers I wish…
That would have made me like the series a whole lot more.

Ann Aguirre
Posted: Oct 24th, 2007 at 5:51 am

Bahahahaha, TJ Hooker!

I am Butch! Full of teh Hawtness! Phear me! I’m dying Kat. I’ll never be able to read about Butch without laughing again.

Kat
Posted: Oct 24th, 2007 at 5:55 am
31

*lol* Especially not after seeing that picture!
Ann Aguirre
Posted: Oct 24th, 2007 at 5:59 am
32

Isn’t his smile just the best? He’s so Leisure Suit Larry.

shuzluva
Posted: Oct 24th, 2007 at 10:24 am

Ann, I finally got around to reading this and its…fantastic! I love it!

I think Phury is a whiny little bitch. He’s a drugged out junkie who begrudged his own brother some happiness. I mean, it was clear from the jump who Bella was into. He should’ve respected that. But the sad little fucker lives a life of celibacy, martyring himself because his brother was taken and he wasn’t. Uhm, who asked you to, asshole? Climb down off the cross, baby, and check yourself into vampire rehab because nobody likes your “poor me” shenanigans.

I clearly didn’t say it as well in our review, but I wholeheartedly agree. I pray that he gets over himself during the interval between V’s book and his book. PRAY!

CJ
Posted: Oct 24th, 2007 at 11:25 am

I love your reviews–you are so right and I forgot the pleasures of the weird fucked-upedness of everything in this series. I, too, did not like stalker Butch early on, and then when LR came out, I tried to pretend really really hard he looked like that guy on the cover, who is quite hot–in my mind, at least–but I kept getting an overweight aging cop, like the police captain on MONK or Andy Sipowitz or someone. TJ Hooker might have been preferable there. But hey, what’s wrong with Rhevenge? I sort of like the REV. He sort of reminds me of Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet with his freak oxygen mask. But in a good way.

Bexxia
Posted: Oct 24th, 2007 at 2:45 pm

This review had me absolutely cracking up! Ann, I adore the books (except LU, but that’s another story) but I so agree with all your observations and I love your wit. For some reason, your reference to V’s “secret freak lair” really tickled me in particular!

I do hope you will read Lover Unbound because I am dying to know what you think of it. Practically all the things you’ve disliked about the books so far are in there. Actually, I’m probably putting you off reading it, aren’t I? Still, it might be a bit like the infamous trainwreck - you can’t stand it, but somehow you can’t turn away lol.

Love the comments people have left too, oh and add me to the group of people that think LE is under-rated.

Thanks again for giving me a good chuckle.

Roslyn
Posted: Oct 24th, 2007 at 3:57 pm

Personally I’d rather be gang-raped by midgets than read this series, but the review is an absolute scream.

sula
Posted: Oct 24th, 2007 at 5:32 pm

lmao! Ok, that was far more entertaining than it should have been given that I really do love reading these books. But it’s a weird kind of love…I keep going back for more even though I know it’s bad for me. *sigh*

LE has always been my favorite of the bunch. Then again, it was the first one I read. In retrospect, I feel that Rhage and Mary actually got to have a little relationship development whereas the more recent installments have included so many secondary characters that it’s like a big party. woot. As for Butch, I always sorta pictured him as Chris Meloni from Law and Order-SVU.

BevL(QB)
Posted: Oct 24th, 2007 at 5:49 pm

Yes, Sula! Chris Meloni is who I always pictured as Butch, too!

The first glimpse of homoerotic undertones, IMO, was when Bella was going thru mating heat or needing or WTF ever it’s called. And Phury, V, and Butch sprawled naked around the bedroom together smokin’ doobs and periodically spankin’ the monkey. That scene played VERY vividly in my… um… brain.

Andi & Stien
Posted: Oct 24th, 2007 at 11:41 pm

Hehehe, great review. And so very funny, muahahaha
You know, this is probably going to sound very weird, but the part I liked best, was that where Bella was kidnapped by that lesser. Mr O… well, he was yum. In a freaky sort of way
And that picture TJ Hooker is priceless, hahaha! Very Butchy

Ann Aguirre
Posted: Oct 25th, 2007 at 5:04 am

Mr. O was scary, dude.

Scarier than X, or the Omega. I was totally freaked out by his memories of how he would snap and beat the living shit out of Jennifer, who was stupid but spunky, and tried to fight back. And he “loved” her so much because he could then take care of her tenderly after he pummeled the ever-lovin’ crap out of her.

I just cannot find that hot. For me, it qualifies as truly twisted and inventive villain-crafting, though, so hats off to JR Ward. The rest of the Lessers felt sort of Scooby-Doo, but Mr. O? No way. He was straight up Psycho material.

Jackie
Posted: Oct 25th, 2007 at 9:04 am
41

Awesomeness, Ann.

Andi & Stien
Posted: Oct 25th, 2007 at 10:54 am

Well, Ann… I think that’s why I liked him
I know it’s weird, but I always like the bad guys best… They are so interesting, hehehe
I agree that he isn’t ‘hot-hot-boyfriend-material’, but he still has something very intriguing.

Or perhaps I’m just twisted, hee hee…

Lover lurker
Posted: Oct 25th, 2007 at 2:17 pm

OMG, you crack me up. I love the books, but this review had me busting a rib. Thanks for the giggles.

Backed up farts and bonding scent? LMAO!

K. Z. Snow
Posted: Oct 25th, 2007 at 4:40 pm

I’d been thinking seriously about dipping my toe into these waters, but now I think I shall keep it dry and pristine.

But Ann, Ann, ANN…”dig” has been in use by hipsters since Lenny Bruce. It might even predate Lenny Bruce. That word will never go out of style. However, I didn’t realize there were vampire hipsters. I guess we can thank/blame Anne Rice for that.

Now, in honor of classic street-speak, I’m going to walk into the livingroom and wait to call something groovy. Might even flash my S.O. a peace sign as I do it.

Ann Aguirre
Posted: Oct 25th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
45

Who the hell is Lenny Bruce? Hehe, I need to Google it. BRB!

sula
Posted: Oct 26th, 2007 at 5:19 am

Bev, glad that I’m not the only one who sees Meloni as Butch. Perhaps he’s a particularly fitting choice because I do believe he proved in Oz that he could do m/m just as easily as m/f. Though of course…Butch doesn’t swing that way..ahem, ahem. :-p

lightlyfell
Posted: Oct 26th, 2007 at 12:46 pm

I’m just wondering if anyone here has read Lara Adrian’s series. I just started the first one, “Kiss of Midnight”, and while it is a total and utter rip-off of Ward, I mean the plot IS Dark Lover, and they even are called warriors and have a “training facility”, I am enjoying it. It’s rather compulsively readable, actually. The first thought I had while reading it was, wow, so THIS is what Ward’s book would sound like without that stupid-ass slang! And the names aren’t idiotic either.

Since I haven’t finished it, I can’t say whether it’s as good as Ward or not (most reviews say not) but I’m telling you, it is refreshing to not read “shitkickers” and “my brother” every page. (These guys say “dude” and “man” a lot.) Just wondering if anyone else liked her, or if she was just too blatant a rip-off. And let me say, yes, it’s a rip-off. I don’t think she continues the series that way.

Ann Aguirre
Posted: Oct 26th, 2007 at 3:54 pm

I haven’t read Lara Adrian, but I did have someone tell me privately they prefer her books. I’ve considered checking them out, but I’m not a big vampire fan.

I’m considering Casey Daniels now. Her books look like a ton of fun.

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