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Oh boy, Gratuitous Death & Violence!

So Marc and I saw the new Rambo on Sunday, right before dinner. Man. We were eating lunch and he asked me, “What do you want to do today?”

I said, “We can watch the new Rambo movie.”

I swear to Science, his eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning and I told him I got him an Xbox 360 AND a PS3 AND a Wii. AND the privilege to do what no one has done before: Pop my anal cherry. While I’m making out with Monica Belluci. Then he looked at me warily. “Why?” he asked. “I thought I would have to beg and promise to buy you something incredible to get you to watch it with me. I had imagined lots of begging. Lots. What made you change your mind?”

I shrugged. “Heard it was awesome.”

It was awesome. Violence against brown people. Outright misogyny. Violence against little brown people. Disgusting, horribly biased, ugly prejudice against said little brown people, one of whom looked disturbingly like my uncle. Terrible acting. Even worse dialogue. GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE THAT MAKES ZERO SENSE. And yet… I was blown away. I was shell-shocked for hours. Behold.


[Click image for a larger version]

Image source: Slash Film and Marc (the link was attached to this: “I love you. Thought you should know”)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 29th, 2008 at 9:47 am and is filed under Just Dionne!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

6 Responses to “Oh boy, Gratuitous Death & Violence!”

  1. rikemon
    Posted: Jan 29th, 2008 at 9:58 am
    1

    I don’t think we can be friends anymore, it’s just that… well… you’ve changed. You are the reason that Sylvester Stallone is still making “movies”. Sadly, someone is going to have to take you out. For the greater good of Humanity.

  2. bam
    Posted: Jan 29th, 2008 at 10:05 am
    2
    Author Comment

    What, does it have to be obscure french films no one’s ever heard of and indie films with a budget of 15 dollars and Wong Kar Wai movies ALL THE TIME?

    What, a girl can’t indulge in the mindless jingoistic massacring of little brown folk by a white man with only a bow and arrow AND a machete?

    Bitch, please.

  3. Jaci Burton
    Posted: Jan 29th, 2008 at 10:34 am
    3

    I love me some action films with gore and violence. But dayum, I’m so over Rambo.

    And oh god. I just know my husband is going to make me watch this.

    I think I can get a new purse out of this.

    Heh

  4. Jaime
    Posted: Jan 29th, 2008 at 11:35 am
    4

    Sheeeeeiiit - I hope I get something better than just a purse out of going to this with my hubby - but the way Bam describes it - I just might like it. Love the chart comparison..what a crack up. Peace.

  5. bettie
    Posted: Jan 29th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
    5

    There’s a CHART. I’m sold!

  6. rikemon
    Posted: Jan 30th, 2008 at 10:03 am
    6

    I’m thinking that in the next Wong Kar Wai film Stallone should show up in his Rambo attire. Then we’d have a movie. I mean, Wong would provide the plot and dialog that the Rambo movies (after the first one) have never had, and Wong supplies the brown people. It’s a recipe for success. The best of both worlds. Hyper Chick movie meets Hyper Guy movie. Though it might implode under the weight of it’s sheer awesomeness!

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