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And here I thought Giselle Bundchen was the one to blame for all the evil in the world…

Thanks to HFCB for the link.

Also included, my acapella version of Bitchin’ Camaro by The Dead Milkmen ’cause I have no shame.

Mark Henry’s Contest — the number I was thinkin’ of was 88.

Ann Aguirre’s Contest — who’s #100? I got a copy of Grimspace for you.

 

 Bam's Bitchin' Camaro [1:38m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

An original story from Liquid Silver Books author, Darragha Foster

Please read Chapters One, Two, Three, Four, Five, six, and Seven if you haven’t already.

Prince Hlini, or Lin, for short, is a man’s man. He enjoys riding, archery and killing animals in days-long hunts with his courtiers. He is also royal pain in the ass—literally. His voyeuristic and sodomite penchants have kept him much too busy to find a suitable wife in which to sprout his noble seed—because it’s safer to make love to page boys and stable-hands than it is to possibly produce a child who will someday poison you to usurp your throne. Prince Lin also suffers from a tad bit of paranoia. There is one woman whose tremendous beauty (and delicious potatoes) has caught his eye…Sigyn of the garden corner. But greeting her from horseback is about as close as he’s ever been.

Sigyn is the daughter of the village witch and the village undertaker. She is of the lowest caste in the kingdom, for she works on her knees in the dirt, mixing in compost created by her father from the burning of the kingdom’s dead. Still…she has the most successful vegetable stall in the realm. People come from far and wide to buy her fruit and veg. With strength, beauty and a height most women will never see, Sigyn could have many suitors—all lower class, uneducated dirt-farmers. She wants more from life. She wants to be king.

Eventide… a gratis lectori salutem (free to the readers) e-tale by Darragha Foster about that magic time between the end of day and the beginning of night. Beware the mist, the call of the geese and horny wood-wives.

Warning: If you’re familiar with Darragha’s work, you know this story will contain sex, violence, and all-around… quirkiness. If you’re not familiar with Darragha’s work…

And now the eighth chapter of Eventide…

(more…)

Mark Henry was here eons ago to pimp his first book ever, The Happy Hour of the Damned and now he’s back ’cause HHOTD came out yesterday… and this time, he’s aiming to cause all manners of ruckus. Give it up again for our first male guest… ever.

P.S. I’m f*cking Matt Damon.

An Urban Fantasy vs. Sad Suburban Reality
by Mark Henry

Oh…the agony of guest blogging AFTER Ann Aguirre. It burns. [Bam: It should. She garnered over 75 comments. *snicker*] I had this whole top-ten author freak outs thing prepared, mostly related to insomnia, compulsive over-eating and stress-induced diarrhea. But after Ann’s confessional yesterday, I was forced to cinch it off mid-stream, so to speak. Two top-tens in a row? Why it’s unconscionable!

So there I was, sweating in the zero hour. Bam torturing me with reminder emails; one after the other after the other after the…

Then it hit me!

Go with what you know. Just like they say about writing. And if I know anything—God help me—it’s crazy. With “crazy” I never have to look far for a topic, simply take a look at the last couple of days and be honest. Here’s what I came up with…

(more…)

JSL wins the $25 GC to Amazon and Mallika wins an autographed copy of Grimspace. Friends, please email me your info and I shall forward them to Ann.

Commenter #100 will win a free copy of Grimspace!

That’s right; this post is gonna get juicy. I’m in a confessional mood today, so I’m gonna pony up ten things I should probably never admit in public. The list will be random and possibly shocking. They’ll bigger and badder as we march down toward number one.

10. I’m lazy. No, seriously. I am. If I didn’t force myself, I would never do anything but take naps and watch TV. I like TV. Well, good TV anyway. So I have to cling to my schedule with both hands. This makes me come across as tremendously driven and energetic when the fact is, I’m just lazy but since I know myself, I can counteract the lazy with forced labor. But a lazy person who cracks the whip on herself can get the job done, I tell you!

9. I like to put peanut butter on my bananas. Forget the bread. No, I don’t fry them like Elvis. Just… peanut butter, slathered on a banana… that’s some good eating.

8. I don’t know what I’m doing. I have the attention span of a mayfly. One day, I’ll be just like Hubert Farnsworth. When is the earliest senility can set in anyway? And where am I, again?

7. Oh, right, the list. Well, that brings me nicely to my next point, which was… fuck. What was it again? Oh! Any advice I give that is helpful and/or accurate is probably a lucky shot in the dark. I’ve learned everything in my life the hard way, as I am incapable of taking good advice. Sometimes I even understand the value of what someone tells me, I nod, and then proceed to do the asinine other thing. To quote, Homer Simpson: “D’oh.”

6. I think cartoons are awesome. Some of my favorite shows include (but are not limited) to the Simpsons, Futurama, Pinky and the Brain, Family Guy and American Dad.

(more…)

An original story from Liquid Silver Books author, Darragha Foster

Please read Chapters One, Two, Three, Four, Five, and six if you haven’t already.

Prince Hlini, or Lin, for short, is a man’s man. He enjoys riding, archery and killing animals in days-long hunts with his courtiers. He is also royal pain in the ass—literally. His voyeuristic and sodomite penchants have kept him much too busy to find a suitable wife in which to sprout his noble seed—because it’s safer to make love to page boys and stable-hands than it is to possibly produce a child who will someday poison you to usurp your throne. Prince Lin also suffers from a tad bit of paranoia. There is one woman whose tremendous beauty (and delicious potatoes) has caught his eye…Sigyn of the garden corner. But greeting her from horseback is about as close as he’s ever been.

Sigyn is the daughter of the village witch and the village undertaker. She is of the lowest caste in the kingdom, for she works on her knees in the dirt, mixing in compost created by her father from the burning of the kingdom’s dead. Still…she has the most successful vegetable stall in the realm. People come from far and wide to buy her fruit and veg. With strength, beauty and a height most women will never see, Sigyn could have many suitors—all lower class, uneducated dirt-farmers. She wants more from life. She wants to be king.

Eventide… a gratis lectori salutem (free to the readers) e-tale by Darragha Foster about that magic time between the end of day and the beginning of night. Beware the mist, the call of the geese and horny wood-wives.

Warning: If you’re familiar with Darragha’s work, you know this story will contain sex, violence, and all-around… quirkiness. If you’re not familiar with Darragha’s work…

And now the seventh chapter of Eventide…

(more…)