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I Got a Crush on Obama

Sorry to totally gank Chris Marie Green’s guest-post, but as I was responding to her in the comment section, I realized that my reply was getting a little longer than CMG’s original post! [Thanks for coming by again, CMG. We love you!] It made me think about all the celebs/politicians/and just-plain-folks I’ve totally lusted after over the years. As I surveyed the various objects of my affection, it really occurred to me, “Man, you are a fickle broad. And a total geek.”

And my current obsession: Barack Obama. I love him. His voice, his charisma, the sheer electricity of his personality, his damn fine good looks… Yes, I can totally relate with Obama Girl. I’ve been singing “I got a crush on Obama” for days— B to the A to the R-A-C-K-O-B-A-M-A. A male coworker heard me singing it and said, “Damn, you’re right. He is one fine-lookin’ man. Whenever he says ‘change is coming,’ I feel a little tingle.” Barack Obama. Or if my burning loins have anything to say about it: President Barack Obama. Chief of State… the state of my pants. He can sooooooooooooo barack me tonight. Let’s make it happen, people. Let’s have a hunk-of-a-man for president. Let this country have the BEST LOOKING PRESIDENT EVAH OMG! (Sorry, Hil. You’re one handsome woman, but I got a crush on B to the A to the R-A-C-K-O-B-A-M-A.)

Anyway, here is my original response to CMG’s post:

Oh, I’ve always had a thing for actors who’ve played Superman. George Reeves, Christopher Reeve, that guy who played Superboy in that short-lived series from the 90’s, Dean Cain, Tom Welling, Brandon Routh… Ben Affleck (shut up. He was awesome in Hollywoodland).

And the weirdest crush I have: Alex Trebek. I love the voice, I love the smugness, and I love how smart he seems. Sure, he’s got the answers in front of him, but the conviction with which he says, “That is incorrect. The question we’re looking for is…” is breathtaking. Throw in Patrick Stewart too. Speaking of smart dudes: Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.

Oh. And not so weird: David Duchovny. I love him. No, I love Fox Mulder. I know all the words to the song “David Duchovny” by Bree Sharp. ‘Course if Mulder’s involved, so is Dana Scully. I LURVE ME SOME GILLIAN ANDERSON.

Ooh, girl crushes: Jane Seymour (damn, I loved Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman), Kate Mulgrew (who played Capt. Janeway in Star Trek: Voyager), Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Nancy Grace (Man, I want to simultaneously hug her to death AND bash her skull in with a shovel— it’s a Patrick Bateman kind of love), Natalie Wood, Marilyn Monroe… and oh yes, Monica Belluci. Oh, and Jessica Alba might be annoying and dumber than shit, but goddamn, she’s hot. I want to park a can of beer on her ass.

And when I was a young girl experiencing desire for the first time and what-not, I had a HUGE HUGE HUGE crush on… Sebastian Bach from Skidrow. And ooookay, Brett Michaels from Poison. Don’t judge. My soul dies a little whenever I see Rock of Love on VH1.

Lastly, is it weird to have a crush on a cartoon character? I used to swoon over Captain Keith, the leader of the Voltron Lion Force and… Lion-0 from Thundercats.

Not-so-weird crushes who make my girly-parts tingle: Christian Bale, Cillian Murphy, Clive Owen, Eric Bana…

Did I mention my love for Richard Grieco back in the 80’s when he played Booker on 21 Jump Street?

Yep, that’s all I got.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, PEOPLE!

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 7th, 2008 at 8:00 am and is filed under Just Dionne!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

10 Responses to “I Got a Crush on Obama”

  1. Bev(QB)
    Posted: Feb 7th, 2008 at 9:18 am
    1

    Oh. And not so weird: David Duchovny. I love him. No, I love Fox Mulder. I know all the words to the song “David Duchovny” by Bree Sharp. ‘Course if Mulder’s involved, so is Dana Scully. I LURVE ME SOME GILLIAN ANDERSON.

    I once saw a pic of him with bare feet. They caught my interest because they were disproportionately l-o-o-o-ng.

    Just sayin’

  2. Chris Marie Green
    Posted: Feb 7th, 2008 at 9:18 am
    2

    Bam, you just gank away! Obama *is* hot. We would have the hottest hottie president who ever hotted if he were to be elected.

    Your girl-crush list is quite impressive, too. I would add Ivanka Trump and Kate Walsh to mine, to tell the truth.

    And I saw Sebastian Bach a few years ago in JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR. He was actually damn awesome. My mom even liked him, so that might be bad.

    Also, Eric Bana?

    Mellllllllllllltttttt….

  3. bam
    Posted: Feb 7th, 2008 at 10:52 am
    3
    Author Comment

    Damn, I forgot one: The Ultimate Warrior from WWF. He turned out to be a raging douchebag of fuckwiticious proportions saying crap like “Queering doesn’t make the world work” but when I was a kid, I thought he was so cool.

    Did anyone actually know what he was saying? WHO CARES!

  4. Carrie Lofty
    Posted: Feb 7th, 2008 at 11:14 am
    4

    Barack makes me feel patriotic in a very special way. I’ll be doing my part in Wisconsin on the 19th.

  5. Jaime
    Posted: Feb 7th, 2008 at 11:34 am
    5

    “And when I was a young girl experiencing desire for the first time and what-not, I had a HUGE HUGE HUGE crush on… Sebastian Bach from Skidrow. And ooookay, Brett Michaels from Poison. Don’t judge. My soul dies a little whenever I see Rock of Love on VH1″

    BAM - you are not alone..I love me some Sebastian..yum and I am horrified when I see the Rock of Love commercials..I dumbly watched the first one and I just cannot watch the second.

    Oh, and Booker - oh my gawd - hot!

    I’m done now…peace.

  6. Tumperkin
    Posted: Feb 7th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
    6

    Oooooh Jon Stewart! I love him.

    I’ve got a real thing for men who can make me laugh and a long history of crushes on funny men who are Borderline Boilers*

    *Someone unattractive who you inexplicably find extremely attractive. The term was coined by adult comic Viz (tagline : ‘The head says no but the nuts say go’; please substitute a one-syllable lady-word of your choice for ‘nuts’)

  7. Tumperkin
    Posted: Feb 7th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
    7

    I don’t think Jon Stewart’s a borderline boiler though. I think he’s hot.

  8. SweetNSourGirl
    Posted: Feb 7th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
    8

    Jon Stewart is way cool, there’s something about his snarky intelligence that makes me giggle. I really just want to hang out with the guy and complain about the state of our country over a bowl of noodles.

  9. Ann Aguirre
    Posted: Feb 7th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
    9

    For those who like Jon Stewart, PLAYING BY HEART is a must-watch movie. It’s an ensemble dramatic-romantic-comedy thing… just delicious. It also has Gillian Anderson as his love interest, Sean Connery as the familial patriarch, Angelina Jolie as Gillian’s sister, Ryan Phillippe as her love interest… just SO much goodness packed into one movie. Watch it.

    And then watch the interview where Jon says he cannot act. At all. The man has modesty coming out his ears.

  10. Kelly McCrady
    Posted: Feb 8th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
    10

    When Patrick Stewart talks I sit up and listen, that’s for sure. I’m a big Fox Mulder fan and Gillian as Scully was just hot. Can you believe it took seven years and a baby before they exchanged even one kiss and yet the electricity sparked every show?

    In the 80’s I loved me some David Addison–Bruce with hair. He’s still hot.

    I snorted water out my nose at your Jessica Alba comment. I don’t mind watching her for an hour or two.

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