Jill Sorenson’s Dirty Words

I’m so excited that Bam agreed to hook me up as a guest author on her blog! To mark the occasion, I’ll be giving away two copies of my debut novel, DANGEROUS TO TOUCH. Leave a comment below and you’ll be entered to win.

I didn’t write DANGEROUS TO TOUCH with Harlequin in mind, so the original version had its share of dirty words and inappropriate-for-category content. In case you don’t know, category romances are shorter and less expensive than most other paperbacks. They also tend to be sweet and traditional, but it depends on the line. Harlequin publishes dozens of these every month.

To make a long story short, literally, an editor from Harlequin liked my story. She asked if I would be interested in scaling the book down from single-title length (about 90,000 words) to category length (60,000 words) and submitting it to Silhouette Romantic Suspense.

I said yes. Breaking into this business is difficult, and to be honest, I didn’t have any other offers.

Before I dove into the revision, my new editor told me to remove the words “shit” and “fuck” from the manuscript. It was a house style issue, like omitting the serial comma.

No problem. I don’t need shit or fuck to have a good time. Along with 30,000 other words, those were tossed. (Sound easy? It wasn’t. I have a wealth of respect for my fellow category authors, who’ve had to learn the hard way to be succinct, and to curse creatively.)

When I completed those edits, I started wondering about the frank language in my sex scenes. I’d seen explicit terms in Harlequin Blaze and even Silhouette Desire, but would that kind of sexy talk fly in an SRS?

I posed the question on the Harlequin Authors loop, mentioning that while I’d seen penis all over the place, I wasn’t sure if clitoris was acceptable. (I really wanted to ask about another c-word I’d used, referring to the male anatomy, but I was too “chicken.” Get it?!)

The response was overwhelmingly supportive. Almost everyone advised me to use whatever language I felt comfortable with. Karen Templeton said, “Go for it, honey!” and made a joke about where secret babies come from. A few authors also warned that editors—and copy editors—would change any word they found objectionable. While some let clit slide, so to speak, others watered it down to the milder “secret spot” and slightly limp “special place.”

The most frequently objected-to words didn’t refer to the male or female anatomy, to my surprise. Over and over again, authors said their editors changed “Oh God!” when used as an, er, sexual exclamation.

What the hell? I guess it’s OK to use the lord’s name in vain, as long as you’re not coming.

Neither of my characters blurted out that particular phrase at the moment of climax, and although I was tempted to interject it a few times to see what happened, I restrained myself. And I left the rest of the “dirty” words alone.

You know what? The editors didn’t change any of them.

I’m pleased with the way DANGEROUS TO TOUCH turned out, even though one of my favorite scenes, in which the hero and heroine go undercover in an S&M club, got left on the cutting room floor.

The final product isn’t squeaky clean, but it is whip-free. If you’d like to win a copy, leave a comment here on the topic of dirty words.

My questions are: What specific words do you find sexy, ridiculous, or objectionable? What kind of language turns you on or off?

For writers: Do you use graphic terms or keep it sweet? Has anyone ever objected to your word choice? Does character, point of view (male/female), publishing line, or something else entirely determine the type of language you use?

Dangerous to Touch is available for purchase now.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 2nd, 2008 at 7:19 am and is filed under Guest Author. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

33 Responses to “Jill Sorenson’s Dirty Words”

azteclady
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 8:34 am

Good morning, Jill. Huge congrats on the release, and best of luck with the book!

Like you, I find that authors who write specifically for category have to have an amazing grasp of the essential points of the story, and be really good at nailing characterization with a few strokes. For the most part, the ones I enjoy manage to do it without resorting to the dreaded stereotype as a shortcut (i.e. Navy SEAL = alpha hero).

As far as language goes… There are a few slang words that pull me out of the story–recently I reviewed a short story in which the heroine kept thinking about how the hero made her cream, and I just couldn’t relate. I don’t doubt there are people–of both sexes–whose thoughts processes would include that expression, but it pulled me out of the story.

Certain words, like clitoris or penis, would probably puzzle me if found in a historical romance–I would wonder how likely it is that people of the time used them, particularly in that context.

Conversely, I would be completely flabbergasted to find all sort of euphemisms for body parts in an erotic romance

azteclady
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 8:36 am
2

bam, wordpress ate my comment :pout:
azteclady
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 8:37 am
3

:blink:

Okay, it didn’t

:slinking off:

Liviania
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 9:30 am

Cockstand I find ridiculous. Others I find ridiculous depending on context.

I’m turned off by cunt even though it’s pretty common. I guess I’m still young, but the only time I see it positively used is when it’s sexy talk from a hero in a romance novel. This means it doesn’t work for me because I only hear it aloud as an incredibly vulgar term. I get jerked out of the book, feeling like he just insulted the heroine.

Jill Sorenson
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 9:56 am

I like cockstand. In a historical setting, of course. OMG I’m blushing writing this. And cunt doesn’t really bother me, but I do find it jarring.

I want to know what azteclady wrote!

Kaitlin
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 10:26 am

Huh…how odd. You would think that they’d have a bigger issue w/ the “c” word than they would w/ other things.

As for me, I prefer cock in reference to the penis. Dick throws me off. It’s just such an…ugh word for me. What kills me is vulva. Who wants to read the word vulva when it comes to sex talk and/or description?

I dunno…it’s just one of those things where it depends more on how the writer handles it than anything I guess.

Kaitlin
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 10:27 am

The word that throws me more than anything though is sternum. No, it’s not a sex word, but when that gets thrown into a love scene, it totally jerks me out of the scene. Sternum…Huh!?!

MaryKate
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 am

What always gets me is not the “dirty” words, but the clinical ones.

My tip to authors, speaking as a reader is, don’t ever use the word pudenda in a love scene. It’s just…clinical, and will jar me immediately out of a scene.

I don’t object to the word cunt per se, but it jars me because it’s been drilled into my head that “nice girls don’t say that word.” Dick doesn’t really bother me, except I kind of think of that word as a “guy” word. I don’t ever use it, but get the feeling like guys use it in reference to the penis.

And any author who throws the word cocksucker into an argument between the heroine and well, anyone gets an immediate thumbs up from me. Mostly just cause hoo-damn do I love that word!

azteclady
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 11:58 am

Jill, turns out it’s the first comment… nothing very momentous, I’m afraid. Just a bit verbose.

Jill Sorenson
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 12:35 pm

Oh, I see it now. Thanks for the congrats. I think I agree with you on cream. It seems so odd to be throwing out words like this but, hey, I asked for it. Anyway, cream reminds me of a bad Prince song.

As far as the “medical” terms (penis, vulva), they don’t throw me off, but everyone reacts to things differently. If I remember correctly, Jade Lee said she finds penis jarring, and I’ve noticed that she uses some very unique substitutes. Like dragon, I think.

Shannon
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 12:54 pm

Most objectionable word for me is cunt. I just find it really offensive and awkward and just a bad word. Most euphemisms for the vagina are bad. Some, like “secret/delicate/dewy folds,” are just ridiculous. My friends routinely grab the romances I read and skip to sex scenes so they can laugh, which probably says something about how much your willing to let slide if your actually engrossed in the story.

I can usually handle pretty much every word as long as it doesnt seem out of place in the story. If the heroine has been using flowery language in her normal everyday speech and suddenly starts rocketing off all these technical terms I’m going to start wondering what the hell is up with that. Likewise, if a forthright heroine that was saying anything that popped into her head suddenly starts dancing around what exactly is going on, I’m going to wonder what exactly happened to her personality.

I will add, though, that for some reason in reference to a penis all I seem to write is cock. I’m not really sure why, beyond have heard both girls and guys use it, but I just like it.

kim h
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 2:31 pm

wow taht is intersting. no dirty words in books dont offend me. i dont dislike many dirty words as long as they are used the right content. maybe should try the other lharlequin lines too to get to use those dirty words lol.

Shiloh Walker
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 2:43 pm

While some let clit slide, so to speak, others watered it down to the milder “secret spot” and slightly limp “special place.”

Special place is where I go when I’m ticked off and trying not commit murder-and it’s got nothing to do with masturbating. I usually go to my ’special place’ when I’m mad about some idiot almost hitting me on the expressway or other thoughtless crap.

So special place would definitely have my eyebrows raising.

It sounds too juvenile-like the way we would describe inappropriate touching to kids when I worked at the day job.

As to the terms I use? Eh, whatever works best for the story, although I tend to write hotter stuff, so usually, it’s the more graphic language.

Collette
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm

I don’t mind “dirty” words in books–it’s the euphemisms that really kill me. “Special place” makes me think of Disneyland. “He slid his fingers down to Disneyland and found me moist and ready.” It IS the greatest place on earth isn’t it?

I do really dislike “dick” though. It sounds like a 4th grader. I’d much rather have a good “cock”. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Katie Ann
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 4:36 pm

I’m so sick of the word “core.” He buried himself in her hot, moist core…No. “Cockstand” always makes me giggle a bit, but I think “cock” is perfectly acceptable and generally what I use (though I recently read a book where that was just about the only word the author used to refer to the penis, and it was a little strange to read it several times on one page). I agree with the above commenter that “dick” is a guy word, definitely.

bam
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 4:48 pm

Author Comment

I have never had so many comments caught in my spam catcher before… y’all are hitting all the no-no words. Maybe my WP thinks you’re ads for erectile dysfunction.

Eilonwy
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 4:48 pm

I’m with Collette– it’s the euphemisms that jolt me from the book, unless they’re the common ones, or ones that seem apropos somehow to the particular couple. If it’s something really bizarre I just start laughing, and thinking about that scene in Ten Things I Hate About You where the guidance counselor is writing a sex scene and asks for another word for “engorged” (tumescent? perfect!)

Jill Sorenson
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 6:12 pm

~I can usually handle pretty much every word as long as it doesnt seem out of place in the story.~

Yes! I use different words depending on which character is speaking/thinking. An example from Lover Revealed comes to mind. I’m a big JR Ward fan, but when pristine, sheltered Marissa started using slang terms like a Black Dagger Brother, I found it strange.

Collette, the phrase “I’m going to Disneyland!” suddenly takes on a whole new meaning.

Haha, Katie Ann, I’m with you on “core.” Makes me think of ab workouts.

Most of the euphemisms I don’t even notice, which is probably a good thing. But I like a little variety. If the writer uses “cock” a hundred times, it loses its effect.

Lorelie
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 6:19 pm

It’s so funny to me to see everyone’s dislike of cunt. I’m not surprised but my best friend’s the absolute opposite — I can’t say pussy around her, in any form, without her cringing. But she’ll break out with cunt if it’s even remotely appropriate.

Me, I’m fine with pretty much anything. I tend to use a wide range of words. Depends on the character and also depends on their state of mind. I tend to ratchet up the intensity along with the scene’s intensity. (Or at least, that’s what I strive for. Hopefully I get there.) I’ve written dick before but almost always ended up cutting it out ’cause it just didn’t sound right.

True story from writing Tarnished Angel: I was scribbling away until I got stuck looking for a word. “Honey,” I said to my much put-upon husband. “If you couldn’t say clit, what would you use?”

“Whaaat?”

“If you couldn’t say the word clit, what would you use instead?”

“Um…button.”

It felt slightly cliched but pretty much worked, so I wrote it down, went on a couple sentences more and then stopped. Curious, I flipped open the Dictionary of American Slang. Sure as shit, button’s in there as slang for clit, starting somewhere around mid-1800s. I thought it was funny.

TracyS
Posted: Jun 2nd, 2008 at 8:09 pm

Lorelie, I can totally see your husband just sitting there thinking “no one would believe the conversations I have in my own home” LOL

I’m another one that doesn’t like the word “cunt”. I think I’ve only really heard it used to really disrespect women and I can’t get past that.

I also don’t like the world “dick” and agree with whoever said it sounded juvenile. In my high school we had half lockers. The locker below mine was shared by three guys. I swear they spent their days coming up with creative ways to call each other names using the word “dick” (dickhead, dickbrain, pindick, itttybittydick. . .. .) That is all I heard between classes for two years :rolls eyes: so that word just brings me back to my high school hallway.

sorlorst
Posted: Jun 3rd, 2008 at 6:11 am

Penis in a romance novel reminds me of Mr Garrisons writting attempt in South Park. Nothing else really bothers me.

Congrats on your release. I cant wait to get my official copy.

azteclady
Posted: Jun 3rd, 2008 at 6:33 am

Jill, now that you mention JRWard… there was a scene in Lover Eternal where Wrath–hello, King of Vampires!–says to Mary to “shut her piehole” (or very close to that–not looking it up, sorry)

The first time I read it I was fully under the influence of Ward’s crack, but when my S.O. read it, he immediately got thrown out of the scene.

So appropriate language is so much more than dirty words, it’s not even funny.

Jill Sorenson
Posted: Jun 3rd, 2008 at 8:24 am

Hi sorlorst! Thanks for stopping by.

As far as JR Ward, I like the way her characters talk. They may be a thousand years old or whatever, but they go to clubs, right? So I can believe it.

But Marissa was SO not streetwise. It didn’t make any sense for her to talk tough. I still loved the book.

Lorelie, too funny! I ask my husband for words all the time, when I’m drawing a blank. He’s pretty good at coming up with the right one.

catie
Posted: Jun 3rd, 2008 at 8:59 am

Personally, I’ve always found the sanitization of “objectionable” words and phrases (i.e., woman’s mound, love button, pulsing manhood, etc.) utterly ridiculous. Call a spade a spade for crying out loud! (In other words, I don’t have a problem with writers who use “coarse” language in their depictions of lovemaking/sex)…but hey, that’s just me.

clare
Posted: Jun 3rd, 2008 at 10:00 am

For me the importance would be staying true to the character and using terms that’d fit right with them. Though I have to admit I’m a big fan of purple prose it always makes me laugh.

Is it really a good thing when manhoods pulse or get engorged? I always feel maybe the heroine should step away and advise a clinic!

The following site is great for euphemisms; I don’t know how useful it is but it certainly threw up ones I’d not heard of and it never fails to make me laugh: http://home.epix.net/~jlferri/sexrom.html

Ilona
Posted: Jun 3rd, 2008 at 10:31 am

I tend to be very easy about the words used in books - it all depends on the way the author has used them. If they fit the character and situation I will accept most words including cunt, penis, vagina and cock. However what really gets my goat is the use of words that jar me out of the story because they don’t fit either the story (like cockstand in a contempory) or the character (like prick from a normally none foul mouthed female).

JaimeK
Posted: Jun 3rd, 2008 at 3:43 pm

You know “cunt” still bugs me - not as bad as it used to. I went to VDay a few years back and was talking to a friend who had done a monologue on all the names women give their vagina. I said to her that I still didn’t like the word “cunt.” When I was leaving the arena a group of women, who had over heard the conversation, whispered (in a loud stage whisper) “cunt, cunt, cunt” until I had left the building. So, I got over it a little…but I have developed other phobias… =] large crowds, large groups of women….

Jill Sorenson
Posted: Jun 3rd, 2008 at 4:14 pm

Clare, that’s a great site! I bookmarked it. Very unusual to see a guy do such an indepth study of romance novels. It’s like a thesaurus of euphemisms for everything from breasts to orgasms. Sadly, no mention of clitoris or even button. What’s up with that?

JaimeK, I would be traumatized for life! I don’t want to have any word forced on me, regardless of intentions.

Jennifer
Posted: Jun 3rd, 2008 at 6:15 pm

I can’t even imagine having to cut 1/3rd of a book! Though I would be really mad if every “clit” had to be a “sweet spot”- twice as many words! I really love the “Oh God” thing.

Congrats on getting a book published!

Karen Templeton
Posted: Jun 4th, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Oy, that’ll teach me to Google my name!

But I had to chime in, because in my upcoming August SSE, the heroine refers to her nether regions as “Funland,” heh.

And I’m weird, because I’m put off by purple prose euphemisms, clinical terms, *and* raw language in love scenes. Or I should say, overuse of any of the above — I don’t object to any terminology, cleverly executed for effect. When it jars, it’s generally because it seems out of sync with the character or tone of the book. As an author, though, I’m definitely in the imply-and-let-the-reader-use-her-imagination school. Naming the body parts just isn’t a high priority when I’m focused so hard on what’s going on in their HEADS.

Jill Sorenson
Posted: Jun 4th, 2008 at 2:40 pm

Haha, Karen. Don’t be ashamed of googling yourself. It’s perfectly natural.

And the winners are…Ilona and Katie Ann! Please email me at jillsoren1@aol.com with your mailing address.

Thanks to everyone for sharing your dirty words with me.

azteclady
Posted: Jun 4th, 2008 at 3:50 pm

Congrats, Ilona and Katie Ann!

Jill, I just got your book today *happy dancing*

Thanks for the fun post!