Mitch’s Special Sauce

9 Aug

Why does it smell like chlorine?Hi, Mitch, here I am! Where’s that special yummy fudge you promised me? *sniffs* Hmm… it sure smells like heavenly chocolate… and oddly enough, chlorine… Whoa, there, buddy. You must have gotten dressed in a hurry because your pants are still unzipped. In fact… *looks away* Listen, Mitch, can you stuff Little Mitch back in his cage? I’m… I’m starting to feel really uncomfortable here. *moves head back as Mitch attempts to push the wooden spoon into her mouth* Easy there, buddy. I promised you I would taste the fudge and I will. What’s your hurry? Can’t you wait one minute while I put on this apr… okay, fine! *leans forward to gingerly touch the tip of her tongue to the spoon* Oh, hey, it’s actually pretty good. A little salty and bitter, but… what’s with the creepy smirk, buddy? Wait, what are you doing with that camera? What do you mean, you want me to take an extra big spoonful so you can take a picture? Mitch, you’re starting to freak me out. *frowns as Mitch holds up a panda costume* You want me to what? No, I’m not going to wear that thing. It’s ninety degrees outside, are you crazy? *rips off apron and slowly backs away toward the door* What the hell is that… what are you doing with a leather mask with zippers over the eyes and mouth? I don’t unders— Uh-uh, buddy, back off. Look, our sex life is fine the way it is. When I said it was a little vanilla, I meant gourmet French vanilla… Get away from me, you freak! No, I don’t want to taste your special popsicle! I’m out of here. Psycho!”

Mitch stands forlornly, staring at the swinging door. He squeezes the double-sided dildo he is holding in his hand. I really thought she was the one…

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3 Responses to “Mitch’s Special Sauce”

  1. Heather (errantdreams) August 9, 2009 at 9:21 pm #

    MUAHAHA!

    Love it… that last line really makes it.

  2. shuzluva August 10, 2009 at 1:29 pm #

    Wow, you really went there. Of course, bitch in the hat probably had it coming.

  3. BHL August 11, 2009 at 10:10 am #

    YOU’RE BACK! POING!!!

    I just had to fake a coughing fit at work to cover up the giggles. Awesome!