Grade: B

When it came time to grade this book, I wavered a lot. There were things I loved about it. There were also things that worked my last nerve. I’ll address both presently. In the end, it averaged to a solid “B” because she managed to make me cry once before the story was done. Rock Star offers a better than average showing from a freshman author, so I’ll be watching her.

What worked for me:

Callie. I loved Callie. She’s strong and smart, funny, and she totally has her shit together. This is a heroine with a game plan and knows what she wants out of life. It was refreshing to find a heroine who’s not looking for a man to complete her. Books and So Forth, the name of her store, is the love of her life, and she hasn’t had time to mess around with men since she hit the ground running out of college and started her own business.

Rock Star is set in Maple Fork, Alabama, and Ms. Holcomb writes with authority about living in a small Southern town. The setting pops, and is populated with a charming secondary cast. Granny rocked my world. I laughed out loud more than once at the wise but funny homilies she dispensed toward the end of the book. Likewise, I enjoyed Callie’s mom, who is afflicted with “little woman” syndrome. This means she’s no bigger than a minute but somehow manages to boss everybody in a mile radius. Her father comes down hard on Callie for dating a white man. At first, as a white reader, this bothered me some, but as the book went on, I came to see it more as a father simply trying to protect his daughter. It makes me sad that we live in a world where color matters, but maybe our kids will live in a world where it doesn’t.
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For the past few months, you all may have noticed that from time to time, I have guest reviewers on this blog, namely Shuzluva (who sends in reviews whenever she feels like it, dang!) and Annie Dean (once a week, like clockwork!). This is because 1) I’m lazy 2) I get so busy with stupid, stupid school that my two BFFs have decided to pitch in so I can have new and fresh content for you guys everyday 3) Did I mention I’m lazy? Anyway, you may have also noticed that Annie’s been doing the majority of ebook reviews, while I… review whatever I feel like, dang! Annie reads faster than me and also writes her reviews faster, while I… like to take my time and write, as Karen Scott calls ‘em, “fucking tomes, mate!”. If you’re interested in sending your book to Annie for review (instead of me, ha-ha!), read this:

Oh, and for those who are curious about my reviewing schedule:

Next Thursday, I’m reviewing Rock Star by Roslyn Hardy Holcomb. The week after, it’s Dirty Shame by Selah March. After that, I’ll be reviewing Nightswimming by Rebecca James.

Beyond that, my schedule is clear. So if you send me your book at this point, you’re looking at a review date of May 10th.

I review on a first come, first served basis. I download the file, put it in my To Be Reviewed Folder, then in a sub-folder called “It’s Not Chick Porn Reviews”. Once in there, I number the files. 1 is the next book on deck, 2 is the following week, and so on. Once I review a book, I put the file in my “Completed Reviews” folder. This is how I keep track of things and make sure it’s fair, etc. (Dee Bam was very amused by my organization.)

Now you have an intimate understanding of how I do business. If an author sends me a book, I swear I’ll read it but I don’t promise to like it. I don’t blow smoke up anybody’s ass, and if you want that done, buy a bong and three feet of hose instead of emailing me.

Otherwise I’ll be happy to hook you authors up.

Annie doesn’t just review ebooks, she does print too. ANNIE DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE! If your book is in print, though, she’d prefer it it you sent her a digitized copy. She lives outside the country and it takes her weeks (sometimes months, sometimes never) to get mail from the U.S. Oh, and here’s a handy dandy email button:

Grade: B+

Well, once again L.E. Bryce has done it. I started this book with an overwhelming sense of disgust and loathing, despite the gorgeous, evocative writing. By the end, I have yielded to the pervasive wonder of her imagination.

You see, Erred is a taleve to the Lady of the Waters. This is something like being a priest, except he’s a shapeshifter who can turn into a sea creature that I imagine as a cross between a dolphin and a seal. He’s sacred and Goddess-touched, entitled to a life of privilege and reverence. The Goddess exacts high payment for her favor, though, as Erred is unable to marry, father children, and he suffers from a reduced lifespan. The oldest taleve at the temple is thirty-nine.

The reason for my hate and horror — at the start of the book, Erred is kidnapped and enslaved. Make no mistake, this isn’t a sweet Stockholm syndrome story where he falls in love with his captor because the man treats him tenderly. No, Erred has everything stolen from him: his honor, his dignity, his purity and even his name. I nearly threw up over the way they torture and degrade him. In some regards Dead to the World strikes me as akin to an adaptation of the story of Job, an elegy that explores the nature of faith and the resilience of the human spirit.

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Grade A-

This book blew me away. Just like LE Bryce, who sold me on something I thought I could never enjoy, Ms. Midway introduced me to BDSM, and what’s more, she made me like it. Well, the book. Not BDSM. Ms. Midway didn’t come to my house and say, “Love my book, bitch!” and then top me into submission. Love My Way did that on its own.

Before now, I’ve never read a BDSM story that I liked. I always found it vaguely incomprehensible and sort of disgusting that a sane, healthy, modern woman would want some man as her master. To my way of thinking, that attitude took us back two hundred years when we’ve fought so hard to get this far. I can say now, I just didn’t understand the Lifestyle.
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[Review by the Sexy Bitch, Annie Dean]
Grade: C-

Imagine Laurell K. Hamilton drank a bunch of merlot and wrote a novella in one sitting. Well, if she ever had, you might wind up with something like Death by Seduction.

The story starts out with a bang. I’m all into it. Two partners on a paranormal police force, secretly wanting to bone each other for years. Standard setup, but I can live with that because the opening snaps. It’s raw and livid with the potential for angry sex because Cale has been ordered to apprehend Morgan (for reasons that are never made clear). I guess maybe she’s killed too many humans or something, I dunno. But she’s an immortal death faerie (duh!) so what else would she do with humans? Cale notes that if she weren’t too small he’d have porked her long before now.

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