Greetings and Salutations… here’s a dueling review by my two favorite people, Bettie Sharpe and Tumperkin reviewing Ms. Carrie Lofty’s smashing debut!

Tumperkin: Hey Bettie! It’s nice to be doing a review with you. I’ve been looking forward to reading this book for what seems like years. Shall I kick off with a wee plot summary?

Plot

Tumperkin: Will Scarlet is working for the Sheriff of Nottingham when he meets Meg of Keyworth in the midst of the violent ambush of a nobleman. The two strangers escape together and whilst they feel a mutual antipathy, they realise that for the meantime, they need to stick together. Will has been set up to take the blame for the nobleman’s murder and needs to clear his name. As for Meg, she is on her way to Nottingham to rescue her sister Ada from the Sheriff’s clutches. But being blind, she needs help. Gradually the two adversaries learn to trust one another as they fight each other, their enemies and their attraction to one another….

Fair summary, Bettie?

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Jackie Kessler is a good writer. All the time I was reading The Road to Hell, I was thinking I hope she writes something else soon. However, this particular book wasn’t for me.

It’s not hugely surprising that it didn’t appeal to me. I’m not much of an urban fantasy fan and I’m really not keen on the sort of dry, arch first person POV employed by the heroine, so it was always going to be an uphill struggle for Kessler to win me over. Having said that, I have no doubt that there are lots of urban fantasy fans out there who will love Jesse’s voice. (Bam, for one, liked the first book in this series.

Before I get onto the reasons why I didn’t like The Road to Hell, let me indulge myself with a couple of examples of Kessler’s rather gorgeous prose, like this bit of the prologue:

As I die now, feeling strong arms holding me tight, hearing a voice whisper it’s okay, my mind plays back the events that set me on the road to Hell, good intentions and all. Faces flash behind my closed eyes, almost too fast to follow - the incubus’s fang-filled grin, the Erinyes hissing with reptilian fury, the angel crying fat, salty tears. My love, my White Knight, a name on his lips that isn’t mine…

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I recently blogged about my disenchantment with contemporary romance, and concluded that it was the lack of compelling conflict that was the problem for me. For me, believable conflict is thinner on the ground in contemporary romance than in any other sub-category of romance. Whereas in historicals - disapproving governesses, slutty rakes - and in paranormals - blood-suckers, death, immortality - the conflict is right there, bred into the bones of the story.

I should have added to my post that M/M romance is another sub-genre with built-in conflict. If I had done so, I could have neatly quoted Jay, one of the protaganists from Bonnie Dee’s new novel, Undeniable Magnetism:

“Daring to trust is hard enough in any relationship, but for a gay man it’s compounded. There’s a lot more at stake than two guys who happen to like each other and want to become involved. There’s a whole raft of outside issues impacting them.”

With M/M romance, you don’t need to manufacture a WTF storyline or a Big Mis to provide the conflict. You can have your Romeo and Juliet (or Romeo and Mercutio) doing their ‘You And Me Against The World, Baby’. Conflict - sorted.

And so, in this book we get two rather lovely men - Jay and Simon - who fall headlong for each other but who have a few obstacles to negotiate on the path to their HEA.

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Teddy Pig, who does a great line in - well, great lines, described this book as ‘Regency Gayness in Space’. And I couldn’t put it better myself. And before I go any further - I can’t hold it back - I liked this book.

Ok …. rewind.

The Cover

I don’t generally like mantitty covers, but…. this is a mantitty cover with hair. And I’m already officially on record as liking moustaches [Bam: Grody!]. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I’m partial to a hairy chest. Yes, I likes me the hirsute fellows.

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Let me start on a positive note: although I didn’t like this book, there were things I liked about Ms Tenorio’s writing. There is an energy to her prose that is appealing, and she is funny (always helpful when you write romantic comedies). However, for me, this book just didn’t work: the story was weak and I didn’t believe in the two main characters.

The Plot

Travis and Vetta are research scientists who have known each other since college. They are ‘best enemies’. You know the kind: they bicker and fight all the time but there’s a strong underlying friendship. They share lab space and have neighbouring apartments. Vetta is researching whether men are driven by sex or money and Travis is researching the effect of hormones on ovarian cancer.

Vetta comes from a phenomenally wealthy family. Her father owns a huge pharmaceutical company and her mother is a Swedish actress and all-round sexpot. Vetta lives with her ‘nanny’, Jade, a manipulative mother-hen. Travis, by contrast, comes from an ordinary background and has recently run out of research money.

At the start of the book, we learn that Vetta is gathering questionnaires from potential subjects. To annoy her, Travis submits one with snarky answers and obscene cartoons. We learn that Vetta intends to select a candidate from the questionnaire respondents and offer him a million dollars if he will agree to have no sex for a year. The candidate in question will have to give regular sperm samples and keep a diary.

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