Uh… hellooooooooo… there’s a writing contest this month! I haven’t seen any entries. That makes me a sad panda. COME ON, PEOPLE!

Oh, and because I love y’all:

I stole this from The 3AM Epiphany (awesome book, btw):

Write a short scene in which the person dying changes his mind about something fundamental to the life that is about to be completed. Describe the death as naturally and calmly as you can. Don’t go for drama. Treat the event of this death as if it were an ordinary occurence. The conversion— the change of mind—does not have to be all that grand, either. You don’t have to turn a lifelong atheist into a Catholic or a vegan demand a last lunch of veal scaloppini. Respect this conversation—it should be an important matter to the dying person. 600 words.

A death. I figured it’s appropriate for the end of the year thing. Deadline: December 26. Finalists posted: December 27. Winner announced: January 1st. Prize: The usual. No WIPs, No previously used characters, just seat-of-your pants writing. Seriously, it kind of defeats the point of the exercise when you’re just CTRL-Cing and CTRL-Ving from your old shit. Not cool. And it’s called a challenge for a reason. Good luck, suckers.

Oh, and I’d like to thank Miss Kate Rothwell for running last month’s contest when I was feeling lazy and self-pitying and broke. Thanks, Kate!

Kelly McCrady, with this entry:

“Cover me.” Gretel rose from her crouch.

“I’m out.” John grabbed her hip and showed her the open .45.

“Don’t you carry extra?”

“One in each pocket. Where am I supposed to carry more, in my ass?”

“You might like it.” She recalculated the distance to the next crate. “Stay down.”

One diving roll spun her across the empty aisle. Red bolts of energy followed. A blast of fetid breath wafted past. Scuffling and a shout from behind dropped her heart into her stomach.

“Gretel!”

How did it get behind them? She whirled. John dangled from grotesque, two-fingered fists. Feet peddling the air, trying to pry blood-purple claws away from his ribs, he failed to notice he could kick the beast in two vital areas.

Swearing, she charged. With its hands busy, the thing only drooled in her direction, unprepared for the swing of her staff. “Duck, babe!” The first hit thudded upside its thick skull. Spinning the staff over their heads, she brought the opposite end down on the monster’s arm. Crack!

The demon howled—and so did John as it squeezed him harder. She brought the first end up into its ribs. She didn’t dare look at John. As long as he kept kicking and yelling, she knew he was alive.

The beast took a step toward her, letting go of the FBI man with one hammy fist. Gretel aimed the end of her staff like a pool cue and pounded it into the blackened flesh of the demon’s face. A blinding flash split the warehouse darkness as the magnesium endcap broke in the creature’s mouth.

John dropped to the cement, rolling away from the dissolving, burning creature, leaving bloody tracks. She stepped in front of him, blinking from the bright flash, but no further threat manifested.

From the floor, John’s voice shook. “You forgot to mention I wasn’t shooting at a human-sized assailant. I think it broke my ribs.” He winced, eyes dilated, face pale and hands shaking. She lifted his bloody shirt. Superficial cuts bled, and bruising purpled his ribs. She took his face in her hands and kissed him. Light stubble scraped her lips. When his hand found her breast, she knew he would be okay.

“Pussy,” she said. “Let’s scram before any of its friends show up.”

“There are more?” John rolled to his feet and jogged after her. “And I’m not a pussy!”

Kelly, email me with your info and I’ll hook you up with your 50 Amazon bux.

And that’s it!

The Writing Contests will be going on hiatus till further notice. As you guys might have noticed, I haven’t been posting things on the days I say I would… on the account of me being ridiculously busy lately. So yeah… thanks again to everyone for playing and making these contests wonderful and inspiring for everyone. You guys rule.

Here are the finalists of this month’s writing contest. The entry that garners the most votes wins. Yes, it’s a democracy. Good times. Winner announced on October 27th. Thanks again to BFF Ann for helping me pick them. Check ‘em out.

(more…)

And the winner to PC and KFC’s contest is… Edie from A Bunch of Wordz. Girl, email me your info, so we can send you a copy of Betrayed, Book 2 of the Mommy and Baby Cast’s absolutely fabulous House of Night series.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank PC and KFC for coming by and blogging with us. They’re such a brilliant and sexilicious mom-and-daughter team. Come back again soon!

Oh, and this week, It’s Not Chick Porn! is going to be all about COVERS! Anne Cain, April Martinez, Frauke, and Cris are gonna be hanging out with us to talk about the art of cover-designing, so stay tuned for that.

Also, don’t forget this month’s writing contest. 400 words, deadline is October 15.

Lastly, a few of you have emailed me to ask if I’m going to review Lover Unbound. The answer is yes. I have just finished re-reading it a second time and working on putting my thoughts on paper. Trust me, I got a lot to say. There’s so much to say that Shuzluva is gonna give me a hand and we are gonna be all over it like a Pottery Barn duvet. It’ll be good times, ya feel me? But if you absolutely cannot wait for mine, this one’s pretty good.