You know, I gotta say, when I first heard that Paul Blackthorne was going to be playing Harry Dresden on the Sci-Fi Channel’s The Dresden Files based on Jim Butcher’s awesome series, I was more than a little skeptical. I always thought Harry was more like Matt Damon’s Jason Bourne. Except taller. A little unsure of himself, a little uncomfortable in his own skin, but nevertheless extremely capable and intelligent. That was how Harry came across to me in the first book. Later on, he became a little more confident, a little more slick, but this Harry is… wow, a little too slick. He’s sophisticated, witty, and charming. He’s got girls crawling in and out of his bed! Right now, I’m not quite sure which Harry I prefer yet, but I’m willing to give this Harry a shot. Paul Blackthorne is very yummy. Check out the Dresden Files on the Sci-Fi Channel on Sundays at 9 pm (pacific) and 8 pm (central). Or check your local listings.

Dear Diary,
Which one should I molest first? [Not including the little boy in the red sweater, ’cause eww] Anyway, Tim and I watched Smallville tonight and it was about the “tentative formation of a team with the word ‘Justice’ in the title because that’s what’s Luthor’s gonna get”. So all these shirtless hotties pop up doing… shirtless hottie things. Except, you know, making out with each other. DAMN IT! Because Wonder Woman and Hawk Girl (original members of the JLA) were MIA, Tim quipped, “Shouldn’t they be calling themselves the Sausage League instead?” My man is so clever. I wonder how pissed he’d be if I had sex with all of these guys (except for the little boy in the red sweater). But, like, not at the same time, you guys, ’cause I’m not a slut! One on one after the other is fine.

P.S. Dude, why did they cut out Cyborg out of this picture? He’s like… the hottest one next to the Green Arrow! Hello! Is it ’cause he’s black?

P.P.S. Oh Science, last night was the last episode of Justin’s 7-episode arc. I can’t handle it. I’m heart-broken. What am I going to do with myself now? I suppose I can get some writing done. Hmm… Come back, Justin Hartley, COME BACK!!!

The brilliantly acerbic Karen has already expounded on LKH bitching about her “negative readers” and expressed everything I wanted to say so eloquently, so I’m not even gonna add anything to it. If you haven’t read LKH’s “fuck you negative readers” rant, check it out here (I’d like to think I’m one of the readers she snarls about). I only mean to whine and cry about the spoilers she provides in the same post about the latest Anita book (which I’ve got on pre-order, btw).

For those who […]are continuing to read the Anita series, here are hints about THE HARLEQUIN. First, Edward is in the book in a major way. Second, so is Olaf. Yeah, serial killer guy is back. Anita ends up feeding full blown arduer on three characters she’s never been with before. And she, and I, are okay with them. Some of the stuff in DANSE MACABRE was over the edge of whatever for both her and me. Anita is really, really, looking forward to having more control over the arduer.

Oh, dear Science. First of all, she can’t even spell “ardeur”. Secondly, I JUST KNOW one of those three will be Edward. Would that be the straw to break the camel’s back? No. Short of Anita resorting to have sex with children and eating puppies raw and squirming, I will never give up on this series. No, it’s not because I hope and pray before I read every new book that it’s going to be better than the last. No, I have no hopes any more that it’s ever going to improve or even resemble anything that makes sense. Karen has once said it best, “You love LKH like fat kid loves cake.” Amen, Karen, and fuck you.

Oh, and that reminds me… I bet Olaf has a HUUUUUGE penis.

One of the wereanimal groups will betray Jean-Claude, and Anita.

Hmmm… I’m gonna go ahead and guess “the wererats” for this one. We haven’t seen Rafael the Wererat King in a while and I’m pretty sure Anita hasn’t had sex with him. It can’t be the wereleopards because Micah has no balls and the rest of them are beaten, defeated kittens, nor can it be the wolves because Richard, like Micah, has no balls. On the other hand, Shang-Da and Jamil still hate Anita… so… hm… I’ll have to think on this some more. Maybe Richard will finally summon the courage to kill himself, thus ending the Anita-Richard-Jean Claude triumvirate… and effectively killing Anita and Jean Claude. Oh, but that’s probably not going to happen because, “They are real to me, and to a lot of other people. I, and a lot of readers, would feel an emotional loss if some of these guys died.” So shut your faces, dissenters.

Marmee Noir will be back. Belle Morte makes a guest appearance that caught me, and Anita by surprise.

Oh good. Will they bring some semblance of a plot with them as a gift?

Nathaniel will be asking Anita to step up to bat for their relationship. What does that mean? Let’s just say that what Nathaniel wants out of a relationship and what Anita wants out of one, may not match. Relationships are all about compromise. I know, I know, Anita doesn’t compromise, but she’s trying. She really is.

Okay, I’m listening… believe it or not, I’m actually quite interested in the character development of Nathaniel and am really curious as to where LKH will take him and Anita. No, seriously. I am not joking. Nathaniel, after Edward, is the one character I’ve always been interested in. Yes, I’m serious. I mean, we watched him grow from this pathetic, creepy, spineless baby-man to this pathetic, less creepy, spineless, housewifey-man… yeah?

The Church of Eternal Life is back on stage. Malcolm is coming to Anita and Jean-Claude for help. You know he must be desperate to come to them, and he is.

Wait… doesn’t everybody? Aren’t they the King and Queen of St. Louis yet? Why wouldn’t Malcolm go to them? They’re the most powerful beings in the area.

Asher gets to show there’s a reason beyond sentimentality that he is Jean-Claude’s second in command.

Huh. I was wondering what happened to him.

I’m sorry, guys, but as cluster-fucky and convoluted as it all sounds, I’m really excited to get my hands on this book. I’m serious. It sounds like Anita is finally going to get out of the bedroom for once. Whoo-hoo.

Oh and for you “ardeur” haters, LKH wants you to know it’s not going to go away, so you can stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

The arduer is a pain in my, and Anita’s butt, too. But I believe in my world. I’ve done this major metaphysical event. I won’t just ‘fix it’ because it’s hard to write around. God, knows, sometimes it is. But the arduer is moving along. I’ve got my fix in mind, but it’s logical, not something that’s merely convenient, or because some people hate it. But the arduer is not going away. If that’s what you guys are wanting, then it ain’t happening. Leave now, because more arduer awaits. The arduer is evolving, as are Anita’s powers, but I don’t see the arduer going poof.

Ooooh… IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR FACE! INNNNN YOOOOUUR FAA—Ahem. And she doesn’t give a shit what you think about her comma usage, either!

Maybe you do not feel for Anita’s torment as she’s pushed further and further outside her comfort zones. Maybe you do not feel any of that. If you don’t feel it, then I have failed you as a writer. I am sorry for that. If you do not feel the touch of my characters, the emotional pain, the emotional triumphs, then I have failed you. You should stop reading me.

No. No, I won’t. So there.

Dear Santa: Please leave this man naked (oh and alive) with only a red bow tie around his neck underneath my Christmas tree. And please make sure you do it while Tim’s taking a nap or in the bathroom. Better yet, maybe you can just take me and Justin Hartley to another dimension where we won’t be disturbed for a hundred years. After we shag about a million times, you can return me to my beloved Tim like only five minutes had gone by, so I could tell him I just went for a walk. Thanks.

Love, Bam

P.S. I’m so going to marry him after he divorces that chick from Passions.

P.P.S. How can anybody not love this man when he looks like this AND looks even better in tights?

…I’d kill any of you for. I am not even joking. I cannot even express what a huge fan I am of Joey W. Hill’s exquisite, erotic, dark-as-hell, eloquent prose. I emailed her, like, last week and begged her for an ARC. I think I even promised her my left leg in exchange for one. To my surprise, she was totally gracious and didn’t tell me to fuck off. She didn’t even want my leg (wtf?). She totally rocks hard-core, man. Anyway, you guys can go ahead and drool over this cover which Sister Jane from DearAuthor sent me. As much as I admire this cover, something about it kind of bothered me… it… um… how shall I put this… looks alarmingly a lot like the cover of Natural Law, a truly awesome book by the same author. The placement of the woman’s hands is different, as well as the type of handcuffs on homeboy, but… huh… it’s… um… ahem… well, they’re like siblings, I guess. Maybe the covers are brothers with different mommies. Anyway, my favorite part of this cover is the FUCKING SKULL RING on the chick’s finger (Jane likes it too). That rocks. You can click on the cover to bring up the larger image, but dude, that’s so punk-rock. The chick got some sharp ass ghetto nails, too. I bet she’d cut a bitch for real, for real. My only complaint about the cover? The frickin’ red font of the title, dude. It’s hella glaring. And why isn’t Joey W. Hill’s name bigger? She’s a superstar, man! Okay, okay, I will concede that this is her first New York book… but her name better be bigger on the next book. Grrr. Represent, sista!

Squeeeee! I cannot wait to read this book. It’s going to kick ass, I tell ya.