Posts Tagged ‘Gawker’

I Heart Richard Lawson

Richard Lawson writes the American Idol recaps for Gawker and he does this bit with Ryan Seacrest having an affair with last season’s hot boy Tim (the one with the abs and not a very good singing voice, but was really hot). Such brilliant writing. So poignant… and… I don’t know, oddly enough… heartbreaking.

Ryan’s cowboy boyfriend from preliminary auditions was executed, which made Timmy sigh with relief as he watched the show last night, wrapped in a fur shawl and nothing else, drinking gin and lemon juice. (Ryan worries about his increased drinking, but figures it’s just nerves, just the painful fraughtness of being in love.)

Don’t you? Don’t you feel it?” Ryan says as he strokes Tim’s hair, Tim who is looking away, lost in a fog of booze and tiredness, Tim who hasn’t left the house in days. “Don’t you feel that I love you?” Tim laughs, a sort of froggy throaty chuckle that’s new for him, it seems old and weary in a way that Tim shouldn’t seem old and weary. “I don’t know. The cowboy’s gone, I guess. That helps. Who knows.” He wanders out to the balcony and stares off into the valley. Ryan looks at him, silhouetted in the doorway, and he wonders. He wonders how something can suddenly be going so wrong when everything else is going so right. It’s just the pain and weight of years, he guesses. Just that. Just that he’s starting something new and here Tim is, just frozen in time. Ryan sees the orange flicker and glow of Tim lighting a cigarette, another new habit, one that Ryan actually likes a bit, makes Tim seem a little more… French, but still one that worries him. But oh well. He’s tired. And there’s always tomorrow. Tomorrow, he thinks. Tomorrow belongs to them.

He’s just a brilliant writer, that’s all.

Who is the Audience for Eat, Pray, Love?

eat-pray-love

I was asking my sister what kind of people will watch Eat, Pray, Love this weekend and claim it changed their lives. (Probably the same people who read and saw The Notebook and wouldn’t shut up about it) I told her it was only for privileged, elitist liberals with entitlement issues and I couldn’t possibly relate, except for the “elitist liberal” part.

But Richard Lawson hits the nail right on the head. He is a GENIUS. Love him.

EAT PRAY LOVEThis movie about how some old lady decided to spend her boss’s money flitting about god knows where for a year did pretty good, I guess, but whatever. Probably a bunch of sad single women with like curly hair and glasses and stuff, all crying and eating ice cream in the theater and telling each other they’re not fat, even though they’re all fat and they all look like ninth grade English teachers. (Probably because they all are ninth grade English teachers.) And then they drive home in their shitty Toyotas and the whole house smells like cat and air freshener and it’s yogurt and some pita bread over the sink for dinner again tonight and then sitting on the couch watching taped (on VHS) episodes of Lois & Clark and the Jeremy Piven Cupid and Roswell, patting their laps wanting the cat to jump up and cuddle with them, but this cat is different, not the same as Daisy-Mins, who died last February, no this one is way more aloof and scratches sometimes, but they just wear longer sleeves at work so you don’t notice the marks. And after a while it’s maybe some tea and some cookies straight from the bag and then upstairs to sleep, the ceiling fan rattling quietly, the dim red of the alarm clock casting a strange glow on the doilied nightstand. And lying there in the quiet, they think about Julia Roberts in the movie and how she rode a bicycle clear across Bali, and they think about how faraway things feel, all the time now, more and more every day. YEAH, FUCK THEM. EXPENDABLES, AWW YEAHHHHH.

(I used to have taped episodes of Lois & Clark on VHS, I swear to God.)

And Scott Pilgrim only made 10.5 million this weekend. WHERE WERE YOU GEEKS AND HIPSTERS?!? Even my dude was like, “Um, to be honest, I’d rather watch that Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell movie.” YOU ARE KILLING MICHAEL CERA’S CAREER WITH YOUR AMBIVALENCE!! DON’T YOU CARE?!? (Some of you are Jesse Eisenberg fans, aren’t you?)

[via Gawker]